Is it normal that I still can't move on from my ex of 2 years even though it's already been a year since we broke up?
I can't remember anything about her anymore, but somehow, she still lingers in my mind. Just earlier, I stalked her mom's fb to see if there were any updates about her, but I found none. I know that's kind of a toxic thing to do, especially if I'm trying to move on, but actually, it's the first time I've stalked her mom again after a year. I don't even know what I was expecting to find. Maybe I was just curious about how she's doing or if anything about her life has changed.
I can't remember our arguments, our conversations, or even the promises she made to me. It's weird because I used to remember those things so clearly, but now they're slowly fading. And I'm sure she's forgotten all about me too. Maybe I'm just someone she used to know, while I'm still here remembering what we had.
I keep hoping that one day she'll contact me and that somehow, we'll be together again, but that's such a dream to imagine. I know the chances of that happening are probably close to nothing, but a part of me still holds onto that little hope. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I still can't completely let go.
It's such an ass thing to feel like I'm better now emotionally and think that if I wasn't so immature back then, then maybe we'd still be together today. I keep thinking about how different things could've been if I knew back then what I know now. But I guess that's just how life is. You don't always realize what you had until it's already gone, and by the time you become a better version of yourself, the person you wanted to share that version with might already be gone.
If you ever find this, I hope you're doing better. :) I genuinely wish you the best in life, wherever you are and whatever you're doing now. Thank you for the 2 years, nel. I'll always be grateful that, at one point in my life, I got to know you and share those years with you.