u/dismemberedarachnid

Hey.

I've been trying to get you off my system for weeks now, but I guess it's easier said than done. People who know about the situation have been telling me to get over it, to get over you—but I just can't. Your ghost haunts me every few hours, from the moment I wake up to when I'm about to sleep.

We haven't talked about it—maybe you assume that we already did as you've already told me your piece, but you didn't even bother hearing me out. You said you were sorry, then you were out. You were the one who did me wrong. You were the one who left, you were the one who decided to leave things on a sour note. Why am I the only one feeling shitty while you continue to act like nothing happened?

I was starting to feel okay again, but then you appear out of nowhere as if nothing happened. You keep on dragging me down the hole whenever I'm close to climbing out, then you leave me in the dark all over again. I wanted us to be okay, so so bad, but I'm human. I get tired, too.

So I guess this is where I'm leaving us. I'm putting this out on the void, since that's what it feels like whenever I try communicating with you, anyway. I'm not sorry that I'm no longer trying, but I feel sorry for myself. That's where it stops. You don't get to do that to me.

But you're still running in my head. How do I make you stop?

You used to say, "There's always tomorrow" whenever I jokingly whine as our calls come to an end. Unfortunately, we won't have any tomorrows anymore—our days end here.

I'm tired of chasing those tomorrows, only to be met with such disregard. I'll get angry, I'll be fine, then you'd appear out of nowhere to disrupt my peace. Today, I choose to strip that power from you.

I won't call, I won't message, I won't look for you. I won't crave your presence, your warmth, your love that I hardly received.