I don’t understand how people believe in god
I was technically raised catholic, but ever since I can remember I have never truly been able to wrap my head around Christianity, or any religion for that matter. I would sit in church with my parents and read the little news sheets they gave at my church while everyone was praying or singing and whatever. I hated doing the religion classes at school because I literally could not force myself to believe in any of it even if I tried.
My mother made me go through all of the catholic ceremonies, and I would just be immensely bored. There has never been a single point in my life where I have truly believed in the abrahamic monotheistic view of ‘god’. I can’t even wrap my head around how others are so devoted to religion because it makes absolutely no logical sense to me and I have never once felt a connection to it.
Honestly, I’ve always wanted to feel faith people describe. It sounds comforting to truly believe that you will be reunited with your loved ones one day so you do not have to fear death. Honestly, the closest thing I can get behind to “life continuing after death” is an idea somewhat like ‘reincarnation’ I guess, where the energy kept within the chemical bonds in your body dissipate and are spread across space and time, so in a sense parts of “you” never truly cease to exist in a chemical sense.
I understand the historical need for religion, though I do not understand the modern adherence to it. It all just seems like a massive coping mechanism that has been historically (and in the modern era) exploited to push certain agendas and divide humanity. I just wish I could truly believe in any of it because I feel like I’d be happier. I don’t know.