u/docforeman

I have shared in prior posts that I got the idea to hire a NAPO organizer for my partner to help with big declutter and organize projects. This greatly reduced (or entirely eliminated) conflict. I am naturally tidy. My partner is not. Neither are my (now adult) kids.

My kids were raised in a very tidy home. Not a museum. Not an antiseptic hospital wing. Just basically tidy. We picked up entirely at least every 2 weeks for the housekeeper day. We entirely cleaned up the kitchen each night after dinner. We decluttered kids rooms seasonally. They have plenty of practice with decluttering and tidiness. And they have ADHD (like their father). So they care about things being decluttered tidy, because they know how nice it is to live like that, and how much it helps with their ADHD. And also it is harder for them to do.

My son, who is a treasure, came to visit a couple of weeks before his birthday. I was asking him what he wanted for his birthday, as he is a grad student. Cash is very helpful at that age. As are some kinds of presents. But very wisely, he came prepared. He had a list of things he needed to tackle over the summer breaks and semester. Various life admin and tasks that needed doing. "I don't need more things, mom. I live in a house with roommates. And I've got savings. But I really need help with this list." I was blown away. On the list was cleaning and organizing his clothes, his desk, etc. He lives a few hours away. I told him about how I hired an NAPO organizer for my partner. He loved the idea. And as my present to him, I said I would do the legwork to find a good person to help him for a couple of hours.

I don't get anything for repping NAPO. I didn't know anything about them. GPT just recommended the organization when I was considering ways to solve my clutter challenges with my partner. But I am here to say that their directory is great! It has come in clutch a couple of times. I did a short search. And found a perfect person within a short drive of my son. She specialized in decluttering and organizing for ADHD. I provided a budget, and asked my son to provide the priorities. She transformed his room and space in 2 hours with him. He was so excited. "I'm dropping off donations of clothes that no longer fit. Then I'm going to TJ Maxx to get some organizers she recommended. Then my roommate and I are going to finally hang the art I've been wanting to put up for the last year."

He went on and on about tips and coaching she gave that he could keep using after she left. "She said she works with hoarders and stuff and that my room wasn't even that bad and we did it in an hour less than you budgeted." That's what I call value. Thank you Alice Price!

"She said when I start a task I don't have to plan how to do all of it. I just have to think of the first step, do that, then immediately think of the next step and set it up before I stop. Mom that's so easy for me to do. I never thought of it that way."

This was such an inexpensive present, with a huge impact.

People here talk about not wanting more "stuff." I really encourage asking for "services" if someone insists on a gift in those cases. We helped my son with routine annual car maintenance (helping him identify what was needed, helping him set appointments, and paying for it) and 2 hrs of an organizer, instead of giving him "stuff." He was just so effusive about getting the "weight" off his mind, and enjoying his room more minute to minute.

I think everyone generally agrees about needing to declutter. Getting out of "conflict" with family by investing in a NAPO organizer that specializes in what they need help with, and letting that organizer help them with their priorities is how I have moved from conflict to success for everyone.

If there are other orgs or ways of finding support that is easy and accessible, I hope people will share. I love the Dana K White virtual coaches and "1 hr better" work. I also love not being in conflict and not owning the problem of other family members clutter.

"Take it there now" is one of those practices that changes things.

Big thanks to Dana K White for the way she packaged it, promoted it, shows how to coach to it.

I know it doesn't take much time, and also showing the timer to my partner and kids was genius for changing how they feel about it and reducing resistance to it later.

I anchor "take it there now" to any time I am moving through the house. My partner calls it "doing your loops." What he sees is that I walk from place to place, sometimes taking a few extra seconds (literally seconds) to detour and put something away.

The counterintuitive thing is that I don't even have to put EVERYTHING away EVERY TIME. I just have to do a little bit. But because I'm always doing as much as I feel like (or have time for), by the time I get to the room or task I was heading towards, the house is much better. But I am not burned out. It is the "compound interest" activity of managing a home.

"Take it there now" involves immediately tossing obvious trash (if that's where something goes). It means putting something away. It means doing very fast small chores to square something away and putting up the tasks tools. It means quickly processing the mail, or packages that come in. Putting dishes in the dishwasher. Just very quickly moving a few things to their "reset" location.

I do that every morning and evening while getting up, and while going to bed. While I was walking around this morning I: Set up a load of laundry to start when I toss in my gardening clothes in a couple of hours; folded and put away clean clothes in dryer; opened package; put the item on the project table with the project it is for so I can finish it today; took packaging to recycling bin; put my partners dressing items back in their place for the morning (he had a late night); Put devices on chargers; put receipts in purse for return; put donations in donation bag by door; set out purse by door to go to cobblers; stowed ladder (part of partner's late night); tossed trash; put away hair clips; put shoes away; ... you get the picture. It took 12 minutes, all while I dressing, having coffee, and getting tools out for a little yard work.

It sets me up to drop off donations, get handbag cleaned, do next load of laundry, etc. It sets me up for all of my tasks throughout the day to be easier, faster, require less initiation work.

Every time I feel that "overwhelm" feeling, or that aggravated feeling of "why did we/lthey leave stuff out everywhere" I just put a few things away. It tends to work out.