u/docforeman

When I moved to this house, nearly 6 years ago, we had a lot of towels. A lot of linens. Too many. More than we could use, and more than we had initial space to store them. That first year, I started the household linens declutter plan.

1. Immediately donate linens (towels, bedding) with any staining or disrepair to local animal rescue non-profit.

2. Immediately donate good quality linens that were the wrong size, or not matched to a set to charity.

3. Gradually, as we figured out decor, donate quality linens that we were positive we would not use as they didn't match the bedroom or bathroom. I made donations or gave away linens 2-3 times a year until the last 2 years, when we were finally down to just the sets we needed. That meant one set of linens per bed, and just enough towels for 1 week of use for the two of us, plus one set of towels per guest for the maximum number of guests we have in the house. 2 beach towels. And two towels for me to use for daily swimming. I cleaned out the bathroom linen closet, and put linens storage, contained, in each bedroom.

My partner wasn't sure about this. When he lived alone he had enough towels for a small army, which overtook a hall linen closet. He struggled with putting anything away. So the idea that we would wash bed and bath linens and immediately remake beds, or immediately rehang towels seemed odd to him. But it makes putting away the laundry a breeze.

We finally wore out the towels after four years constant use. I noticed fraying in the towels, bathmats and shower curtain in the last few weeks, and I ordered replacements. It happened all about the same time. The cost to replace all at once was minimal, after shopping deals. The bedding is still going strong. The worn towels will get repurposed for the shop and dirty jobs.

And I don't have clutter in any bedroom or bathroom closet.

Fabrics are consumables. And to me, it's satisfying to not have more than we need, use, or want.

Bras and bodies age.

That's just a fact. The materials in bras do not improve over time, and often break down.

Your body changes. Even if weight goes up and then comes back down, the way it is shaped changes. This is especially true for breasts.

I pulled on a bra I had not worn in a year or so. I was grabbing the sundress it went with.

I got it on and did not like what it was doing for me. I had changed in the year since I had worn it. It also didn't look like the last year had done it any favors. Elastic wears out, even when you aren't wearing it.

I tossed it. I tossed the undies that went with it, as they similarly didn't work. I tried a bra that I had hoped would do the same job. The band didn't lay right, as I had changed in the 2 years since I bought it. It's beautiful, well made, and only worn once (meant to go with a special occasion dress), so I tossed it in the donate bin. I grabbed something else to wear and kept going.

Bras and undies wear out, even when you are not wearing them. Your body changes while you aren't wearing them. It's okay to just toss things that don't work. It's okay to just donate things and not have something in your drawers that doesn't serve you as you are now.

We've had an outage alert since last night? Is it really out? Downdector not showing that it is for our area?

Just starting to declutter; just doing 10-15 min of effort; just focusing on a small goal; just doing it before you "feel" motivation--this is what makes motivation appear.

I purchased a 4 pack of large garment storage bags. I filled 1.5 of those for my winter clothes, to make it even easier to "see" and use my summer clothes. Along the way I found 3 dresses to declutter.

I had 2 bags left. So I said to my partner, "Hey, before you go downstairs, give me 10 minutes. We'll pull out your winter items, bag them up, and put them to the sides of your closet so you can see your summer items better." He struggles with decluttering and organizing, and I often schedule him time with an organizer to tackle bigger projects. He's 2 years into that, so this was no big deal. I laid out the bags, opened his closet doors, turned on the light, and pulled 3 flannel shirts out. Suddenly he was just pulling the clothes out. He did such a good job, that 9 minutes later the 2 bags were full, and I had his winter coats in dry cleaning bag. I was ready to put them back into the closet, but he said, "I'm not done."

As I type this he pulled a few things out to donate, a few things to trash, and a few things to wash and rehang. He put a few things back in their home, and ran the vacuum.

All together, this is about 20 min. No extra mess. No fussing or nagging.

Just starting...even just laying out the garment bags and opening the closet, setting a timer...very easy. And the motivation arrives after about a minute or two.

I often find for myself and others that starting a declutter project, and making it easy to stop (with progress) whenever you feel like it is the secret.

I do play Dana K White videos, so I know he "hears" the very simple steps. I cannot emphasize enough that STARTING is how motivation arrives, not the other way around.

I have shared in prior posts that I got the idea to hire a NAPO organizer for my partner to help with big declutter and organize projects. This greatly reduced (or entirely eliminated) conflict. I am naturally tidy. My partner is not. Neither are my (now adult) kids.

My kids were raised in a very tidy home. Not a museum. Not an antiseptic hospital wing. Just basically tidy. We picked up entirely at least every 2 weeks for the housekeeper day. We entirely cleaned up the kitchen each night after dinner. We decluttered kids rooms seasonally. They have plenty of practice with decluttering and tidiness. And they have ADHD (like their father). So they care about things being decluttered tidy, because they know how nice it is to live like that, and how much it helps with their ADHD. And also it is harder for them to do.

My son, who is a treasure, came to visit a couple of weeks before his birthday. I was asking him what he wanted for his birthday, as he is a grad student. Cash is very helpful at that age. As are some kinds of presents. But very wisely, he came prepared. He had a list of things he needed to tackle over the summer breaks and semester. Various life admin and tasks that needed doing. "I don't need more things, mom. I live in a house with roommates. And I've got savings. But I really need help with this list." I was blown away. On the list was cleaning and organizing his clothes, his desk, etc. He lives a few hours away. I told him about how I hired an NAPO organizer for my partner. He loved the idea. And as my present to him, I said I would do the legwork to find a good person to help him for a couple of hours.

I don't get anything for repping NAPO. I didn't know anything about them. GPT just recommended the organization when I was considering ways to solve my clutter challenges with my partner. But I am here to say that their directory is great! It has come in clutch a couple of times. I did a short search. And found a perfect person within a short drive of my son. She specialized in decluttering and organizing for ADHD. I provided a budget, and asked my son to provide the priorities. She transformed his room and space in 2 hours with him. He was so excited. "I'm dropping off donations of clothes that no longer fit. Then I'm going to TJ Maxx to get some organizers she recommended. Then my roommate and I are going to finally hang the art I've been wanting to put up for the last year."

He went on and on about tips and coaching she gave that he could keep using after she left. "She said she works with hoarders and stuff and that my room wasn't even that bad and we did it in an hour less than you budgeted." That's what I call value. Thank you Alice Price!

"She said when I start a task I don't have to plan how to do all of it. I just have to think of the first step, do that, then immediately think of the next step and set it up before I stop. Mom that's so easy for me to do. I never thought of it that way."

This was such an inexpensive present, with a huge impact.

People here talk about not wanting more "stuff." I really encourage asking for "services" if someone insists on a gift in those cases. We helped my son with routine annual car maintenance (helping him identify what was needed, helping him set appointments, and paying for it) and 2 hrs of an organizer, instead of giving him "stuff." He was just so effusive about getting the "weight" off his mind, and enjoying his room more minute to minute.

I think everyone generally agrees about needing to declutter. Getting out of "conflict" with family by investing in a NAPO organizer that specializes in what they need help with, and letting that organizer help them with their priorities is how I have moved from conflict to success for everyone.

If there are other orgs or ways of finding support that is easy and accessible, I hope people will share. I love the Dana K White virtual coaches and "1 hr better" work. I also love not being in conflict and not owning the problem of other family members clutter.

"Take it there now" is one of those practices that changes things.

Big thanks to Dana K White for the way she packaged it, promoted it, shows how to coach to it.

I know it doesn't take much time, and also showing the timer to my partner and kids was genius for changing how they feel about it and reducing resistance to it later.

I anchor "take it there now" to any time I am moving through the house. My partner calls it "doing your loops." What he sees is that I walk from place to place, sometimes taking a few extra seconds (literally seconds) to detour and put something away.

The counterintuitive thing is that I don't even have to put EVERYTHING away EVERY TIME. I just have to do a little bit. But because I'm always doing as much as I feel like (or have time for), by the time I get to the room or task I was heading towards, the house is much better. But I am not burned out. It is the "compound interest" activity of managing a home.

"Take it there now" involves immediately tossing obvious trash (if that's where something goes). It means putting something away. It means doing very fast small chores to square something away and putting up the tasks tools. It means quickly processing the mail, or packages that come in. Putting dishes in the dishwasher. Just very quickly moving a few things to their "reset" location.

I do that every morning and evening while getting up, and while going to bed. While I was walking around this morning I: Set up a load of laundry to start when I toss in my gardening clothes in a couple of hours; folded and put away clean clothes in dryer; opened package; put the item on the project table with the project it is for so I can finish it today; took packaging to recycling bin; put my partners dressing items back in their place for the morning (he had a late night); Put devices on chargers; put receipts in purse for return; put donations in donation bag by door; set out purse by door to go to cobblers; stowed ladder (part of partner's late night); tossed trash; put away hair clips; put shoes away; ... you get the picture. It took 12 minutes, all while I dressing, having coffee, and getting tools out for a little yard work.

It sets me up to drop off donations, get handbag cleaned, do next load of laundry, etc. It sets me up for all of my tasks throughout the day to be easier, faster, require less initiation work.

Every time I feel that "overwhelm" feeling, or that aggravated feeling of "why did we/lthey leave stuff out everywhere" I just put a few things away. It tends to work out.