u/dreamedincolor

I've lived in Tallinn for 3 months. My friend's parents were doing a Baltic trip, so we arranged for him to stay with me for a few days before meeting up with them. I said "stay as long as you want," which was supposed to be 10 days but he booked 11 days but didn't tell me the exact length until he arrived.

I'm OCD about cleaning and just got a foster cat, both of which he knew before coming. He's followed my rules for 11 days, but I feel like I need a rule for everything — don't put wine glasses in the dishwasher, wipe the sink after use — and he never does anything proactively. He watches me vacuum despite my spinal cord fractures. Night one, he woke me at 5am for Advil; I told him if it happened again he'd have to leave, and it hasn't happened since.

I gave him one of my credit cards to avoid international fees, set him up with Bolt and an eSIM, and researched recommendations. I took him to the places he wanted to see in tallinn. But when I suggested something low-key like a movie or board game, he'd only agree if he picked the game, so I ended up working while he played. He used all my body wash (I have lupus, so I need specific products) and I gave him a list of requirements to replace it, which he seemed to think was excessive.

We spent two days in Tartu and my back flared badly (likely from cleaning up after him, though I didn't say that). I spent most of it in the room while he sightsaw. When I suggested Harry Potter that evening, he said no, he was going to the botanical gardens instead.

Before he came, I told him I really wanted to visit Narva. He didn't get the appeal until he arrived, when he suddenly wanted to go too. We were supposed to go last weekend, but he had a headache and postponed. He booked a tour for today, offering to cover my ticket as "rent." Yesterday I told him I wasn't sure I could go because of my back, but that I really wanted to (I've wanted to go since I was a kid). He suggested canceling my ticket and deciding in the morning. I worried it would sell out; he insisted it wouldn't. Yesterday night I cleaned with my back brace on while he played on his computer, then took painkillers and went to bed hoping I'd make it. This morning when i excitedly told him i thought i could go, he told me the tour was full, then went without me.

I was supposed to have dinner with his parents tonight; I already canceled and sent him the reservation.

For my part: I'm strict about the cat's routine (his has to brush his teeth by 11pm so I can settle her), and no meat in the house, which has meant he's had to go out for food repeatedly. I did ask him to leave the apartment twice during my therapy session and once all day while I was working. But I thought visiting a friend meant spending time together. Tbf, my physical condition limits how much I can do.

AITA if I tell him to stay with his parents tonight and collect his things tomorrow? I'm also worried he won't pay me back and will keep my keys and credit card.