u/drhounsfield

When the people who matter the most are the ones who are always absent,

When the people who are the ones responsible for teaching and training you are too busy elsewhere doing something else,

When you literally have to beg for the bare minimum,

And "training" becomes synonymous to "labor",

When your wrongs go uncorrected,

And your questions fall on deaf ears,

When your performance receives no feedback,

And your screams for help echo back in the void,

When you rely on people who are training just like you,

And the blind starts leading the blind,

You begin to wonder whether you even matter.

How discouraging to exert effort but not get even a response.

How frustrating to keep asking for help from someone whose shadow you don't even see.

And you wonder why our growth is stagnant.

And you wonder why we keep making mistakes.

When you're never there to correct them.

"Everything is a failure. Palpak ka."

Those words hurt. Like a knife stabbed to my heart a hundred times over.

For someone who has nearly sacrificed even my health, just because I genuinely want the success of this event, these words don't just sting. They torture.

When you've worked so hard for something for so many months, and at some point even sacrificed your mental health for it, hearing those words from someone who has not seen barely an hour of your relentless nights, is downright injustice. To do it in front of everyone whose trust you've spent years earning is beyond humiliating. And then to deliberately ignore the bulk of what you accomplished is just downright degrading.

I've always been told not to take residency training personally, but this. This is my blood, sweat & tears. To say to my face that none of it mattered in the end, and to mercilessly tell me in front of everyone that I'm a failure, is simply something that I cannot NOT take personally.

Residents are humans. I am human. And I've poured my soul into this work because that's what doing my best looks like. To be a resident does not mean to strip myself of all that makes me human. To treat me with dignity despite being a trainee is a reasonable demand.

I did not fail. You failed me.

I know the cost does not stop at the downpayment and the monthly or the cash. What are the financial considerations? Things to look out for? Advice?

Quick clarification: I am aware I am not financially ready yet. Hence the question. Perhaps the better question is: what does "financially ready for a car" look like?

Thank you.