u/drumkitprincess

Hi! I (19f) have just recently been researching my local scene, as someone who has been interested in it for some time. I really want to attend a munch or some kind of other social meetup so I can meet other likeminded people. (I’m not interested in any kind of sexual/romantic relationship, more just looking for friends with similar interests) however, it seems that whenever I check rsvps for these events, everyone is like 8-10 years older than me at the minimum. That really freaks me out tbh,
I’ve always gotten anxious around people older than me due to past traumas, and so looking for an event to go to has been kind of overwhelming. At one point I found a guy who was around my age, and messaged him asking if he was going to an event he said he was interested in. He basically jumped to warning me about possible shitty people, and told me I need to look out for myself (understandable) afterwards I asked him if he knew of other people around our age in the scene and I think he said he know 8 at most. Honestly that kind of freaked me out. I was already intimidated and now am lowkey even more nervous. He told me that older people in the scene (and femdoms lmfao) are typically nice so I shouldn’t worry too much but honestly I can’t help but feel a little uneasy. This is a community that I’m very interested in, and would love to go to events, however Im just very anxious (as you can probably tell) I just wanted to come on here and ask for any advice anyone would have to give about what to do next. I’ve been on this subreddit before and the ppl on here have given me very kind and good advice, so just thought I would hop on again ^^

Hello! I was wanting to get involved with my local scene, bit honestly its very overwhelming and I have some questions. First off, I am monogamous and have a partner. I’m not interested in playing with anyone else, but instead I’m more wanting the social aspect of knowing people who are into the same things I’m into. Is this something thats common? Or will it be looked down on? Second, how would I even go about finding these kinds of events? I’ve heard people say to use fetlife but honestly I’m kind of nervous to create an account on there. I have heard a lot of horror stories about fetlife and it’s kind of intimidating to me. Also I’m definitely on the younger side of things, and also fem, so I get kind of nervous about that. I’d prefer to meet people around my age at these kinds of things if possible. Lastly, how do I bring this up to my boyfriend? He and I share a lot of the same kinks which works out really well, however I feel like if I mentioned to him that I was interested in the local bdsm scene that he would get worried or uncomfortable. I‘ve been dropping hints at him that I’m into the idea of the more social aspect of the community, and it seems that he doesn’t really feel the same. I obviously wouldn’t go if it would make him uncomfortable but how, if at all, would I be able to prevent him from worrying about me? Any advice is appreciated <3