having a partner in an ambitious career
so my partner (f28) and i (m29) have been together for over two and a half years. she’s in her intern year and i’ve been working full-time and doing my part-time master’s. i work a very niche corporate job which i don’t particularly like and make decent money ($90k last year, hopefully $100k this year with a promotion and bonus) and hopefully my MA will allow me transition to a different niche job i like more while keeping me on a similar salary trajectory. luckily, i have family help so i have minimum debt.
my partner keeps bringing up that she feels uncomfortable that she’s going to make significantly more than me as an attending, and that it looks bad socially that she’s dating someone who won’t make as much and doesn’t work a high-status job (doctor, lawyer, swe). i really like that she’s talented and ambitious, but it’s annoying to keep on getting these digs from her because her job pays more and is more prestigious. i appreciate that it’s harder than what i do, but i’m also trying to do something with my life. whenever i tell her that, she says what all of her professional friends want from their partners.
the thing is i’ve have this job and program since we started dating, and whenever we talk about what our future would look like together (where we’d want to live, kids, lifestyle, whether she needs to max her earning potential) we’ve always been very aligned on those and my current trajectory would help with that. it’s just annoying because it seems all about title and number instead of anything. idk, i’m just ranting. we’re both second-gen indian americans, which probably explains a lot.