u/dvmbfuck

i started taking the 150mg SR pills 3 days ago. it was prescribed to treat anxiety and the reason my doctor selected this particular medication to treat my anxiety is bc i expressed concerns about weight gain on ssri’s. (i worked hard to lose a lot of weight in the last couple of months). before taking it, i did look it up and saw that a side effect is anxiety but i figured i would trust my doctor and give a try.

the first two days were normal. on day 3, i did start to feel like i was getting a little paranoid and hearing things that weren’t there (like while i was taking a shower, i thought i heard loud noises outside the bathroom like someone had entered my apartment).

later that night, i slept horribly, constantly waking up. eventually i woke up around 3am and for some reason started having the worst anxiety i’ve ever experienced in my life. my entire body was shaking and my teeth were chattering. my mind was racing. my heart was pounding. i had this sense of impending doom and felt claustrophobic in my apartment and would’ve run outside if my body wasn’t shaking so bad. the anxiety started to get worse when i thought about how i live alone and if something happens to me, no one would be able to help me.

eventually my cat came onto the bed with me and started cuddling me and slowly the anxiety started to go away lol.

i’ve read other ppl talk about how the anxiety is particularly bad weeks 1 and 2 but then goes away. but honestly i’m not sure that i can take 1-2 weeks of the anxiety i experienced. is this level of anxiety normal? should i stop taking it? i think in retrospect the weight gain isnt that bad compared to the horrible anxiety i experienced so maybe i’ll try an ssri. idk.

i mentioned this in one of the post episode threads last night too and basically got told that i was being dramatic, but as someone with a foreign name myself, i feel really strongly about this.

i’ve seen ppl justifying it by saying “oh well we call corbin ‘corbin gpt’ or refer to sincere as ‘disingenuous’ we give islanders we don’t like nicknames all that time!!” except that’s not the same as what’s happening with this “nickname” for parmida.

so let’s take a look at the two examples i mentioned above. “corbin gpt” is poking fun at how he comes across as robotic. “disingenuous” is making fun of the irony that sincere is anything but sincere. both of these nicknames are jokes about their behaviors.

“parmesan” isn’t like that at all. it’s literally just taking an ethnic name that ppl aren’t used to hearing and replacing it with a similar sounding english word bc yall think it’s “funny.” there’s not context behind it and it makes no sense. if her name was sarah, i highly doubt yall would be calling her sargento rn.

referring to her as parmesan feels micro aggressive but i guess since it’s someone that’s not liked, it’s no big deal.

eta: for the record, i don’t like parmida.