u/dy1w33d

After my last attempt I actually tried to put my life together. Moved states got into school doing a career I actually cared for, had some good friends.
But last year I got really sick and have basically been bed ridden all year so far.
I’m now using a wheelchair when I used to be able to ride a bike for 70-100 miles, I can’t talk anymore, my body is in constant pain, and a bunch of other weird stuff. and a last week it finally broke me
I feel so bad that I had such a good clean streak but this has been so hard and I just fell back into old habits.
I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m so lost doctors don’t care cus I’m in my mid-late twenties, and I just have a constant urge to SH now that I’ve started again.
I know no one will probably have too similar of an experience but fuck idk what to do it’s just so hard and I’m probably the worst I’ve been in my entire life.