What is happening? Is this normal?
What is this yellow orb? Why is the sky a weird light blue? Why can’t Austin even keep a common narrative story line for whole weekend?!?
u/eatmynasty — 11 days ago
▲ 16 r/austincirclejerk
CHICAS BONITAS OPENING NEXT TO CRANKLIN’S 2 IN THE DOMAIN
TxDOT murdered the old I-35 Latin strip club and the chicas are coming back 4x bigger right next to Cranklin’s 2 on Rock Rose in The Domain.
Start at C2, get the PCP ribs, quick stop at the glory hole, and then stumble five steps into $25 Cuban dances while our in house DJ Pauly D drowns out the screaming with his fist pumping beats.
Owner dumping pure tip money into poles in the middle of luxury retail so the techies can go from mystery meat to actual titties without moving their Tesla.
This is the most Austin thing that has ever happened.
The Domain is finally complete.
u/eatmynasty — 2 months ago
I accidentally paid $8,640 for lap dances
I misunderstood the original text and opted for 1440 minutes of VIP when I just needed an hour. My card was charged $8,640 and I don’t know what to do (this was at the Champagne room VIP at Chicas Bonitas. There wasn’t any number for me to call…).
I can’t spend all day in VIP. I have a gallon of PCP at home I need to care for.
u/Xlitasskid — 3 months ago
▲ 15 r/austincirclejerk
Discord group for drinking
I was wondering if anyone is aware of any local drinking discord groups here in Austin. Preferably drinking with people in voice. I tried searching but nothing came up. Also looked at some other communities drinking/party subs but nothing. All I could find was those sobriety groups and I’m not interested in that.
Thanks
u/eatmynasty — 3 months ago
▲ 46 r/austincirclejerk
You Gotta Be More Specific Mr Protestor
If you mean Moody *, just move out of Austin.
u/eatmynasty — 4 months ago
▲ 51 r/austincirclejerk
Gayest gym
I’ve been to many of the larger gyms in Austin city limits, and it seems like it’s mostly straight dudes. It’s enough to make a circuit queen uncomfortable. Even the smaller gyms have enough performative tech bros to qualify as a straight club.
That’s all fine, but again I would be more comfortable in a much gayer environment. Where can a gay-laced type guy get a workout in, without being confronted by baggy shorts and dad bods? No hate, but where I’m from (dumpster behind Cranklin’s) even in the locker room we generally try to maximize full cock exposure: towels down, skin-to-skin, every back bare. Is there a particular gym in the area that might support this culture?
TLDR - not enough mustache rides. Where to just “exercise”?
u/eatmynasty — 5 months ago
▲ 195 r/austincirclejerk
Got this letter in my mailbox today. Actually, there’s a birds nest inside atm, and a note taped to the outside asking for mail to be left on the step. It’s one of those that’s mounted on the wall next to the front door.
I wasn’t driving and definitely didn’t honk at anyone crossing Congress Ave during the May Day protest. I live in a duplex that shares a driveway with another duplex, so it could have been a neighbor, but whoooo knows. They mailed it to the address of my duplex with no name or return address.
My other neighbors are super chill. We share a Hulu account with them. They don’t give a fuck.
So. Yeah.
Which one of you did it! Wild to take the time to handwrite and mail this unhinged shit imo
u/eatmynasty — 6 months ago
▲ 16 r/austincirclejerk
Okay we’re cool we’re cool I think yall can hear me. I figured out how to post from the astral realm by doing Interstellar plucking….
Anywho… I’m stuck in a K hole at The Tavern. There’s a fat white guy sitting the bar in a No Doubt t-shirt… it looks like me but do not trust me that’s not me that’s some other me.
Can someone please go up to him (me) and lightly put your fingers in his (my) mouth and pull my soul out of this hole.
The imposter may protest but keep going and you’ll be rewarded handsomely.
HBD to that asshole by the way, no fucking help he was.
u/eatmynasty — 6 months ago