u/echrystal6035

I had my first processing session on Friday. We did a pretty deep trauma for me. After I cried a bunch and the next day. But ever since I have had non stop anxiety and panic attacks. I have Ativan to use as needed and I don't like that I've been needing it so much. The last two days has been really really hard with the anxiety. Is this normal (I have a severe panic disorder that's why I'm in Emdr) I can go weeks without anxiety and now it's just non stop 😭

Little about me: I have CPTSD , Borderline, OCD, Generalized Anxiety and panic disorder. I have a really messed up history. Without going into details something extremely depraved happened to me when I was 5 (I put a man in prison with a 25 year sentence he got out at 18 years) abusive mother and brother etc and then my adult years a medical trauma that has ruined my life. I have VT and spent 5 days in cardiac icu. This caused me to have the worst panic attacks ever in my life since. I was able to get out of a deep depression but the panic and anxiety still rules my life. My main therapist said she wanted me to try Emdr because talk therapy was not working. I never had a chance to process what happened to me as a child let alone the medical stuff. I met with my new therapist today and I'm ready but scared. I'm by nature a fighter and I want this but scares me because I have to sit with the sensations in my body while processing and this scares me because of the medical stuff. I really could use encouragement.