u/edensrotting

Throughout my life, I've told I have a beautiful body, I've been the object of desire of some boys because of my body and I did had an eating disorder that had nothing to do with shape and now I am devastated by the fact that I am an apple. This is so frustrating, I feel so terrible and ugly. Of all body shapes, why this one? Why? What I did in my past life to deserve such punishment? And why did I thought I was an hourglass (lol) for so long? I just cannot understand why. I dont feel the need or will to have sex or show my body anymore, I feel so terrible.

just to think that i let someone see me naked even though i am this ugly is just infuriating, im sorry, but yall can miss me with this body positivity shit. I want to kill myself and see if I reincarnate into another body. I went on a weird spiral over the last week and started to ask my friends about my body. They lied to me. And if they lied to me, it means I am so ugly they cannot bear to tell me truth.