Does Zoloft help?
I have been experiencing derealization for over 1 year now. I have never had mental health issues, up until I had a big accident (broke my femur snowboarding, it was very traumatic / falling off a cliff etc). Ever since then, I've felt that my surroundings + reality are not real. I am able to see things around me, and logically I know that I am with my friend or looking at a tree or crossing the street, but it feels like I don't trust that I am perceiving it at all. Some metaphors that help me communicate what I'm experiencing:
- Like I'm watching an AirPlayed / Screen-shared version of my world
- Like there is a foggy layer in between my reality and my perception that I cannot break through
- Like I'm watching a laggier, blurrier, hazier version of my life (though my vision technically isn't different??)
- Like I'm blind (not visually, but something else... like perceptually blind)
- When I am laughing with my friends I feel like I am not really there to experience it (I am still able to enjoy things and experience emotion, but I get sad because I feel like I am not really here to enjoy it)
- When I am biking around town I feel really scared I might crash because I don't trust my perception of my surroundings
It has gotten A LOT worse from work giving me a ton more stress. I'm a software engineer at a startup and it has gotten so intense I feel so underwater and behind all the time with all this AI shit. I've gotten crazy physical symptoms of stress in the last month:
- Pins and needles + itchiness on the left side of my body + both hands (this comes and goes throughout the day, but I've felt it every day for 2 weeks now)
- Left arm pain (freaks me tf out bc it makes me think I'm gonna have a heart attack)
- Intense neck/upper back tension that feels like someone is choking me (gets worse when I'm stressed from work)
- Heart palpitations and heart pains (I went to the ER last week bc I thought I was having a heart attack). Blood test + Xray all came back normal
- Slowed breathing + chest tightness/pressure (this comes and goes throughout the day)
- Waking up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking about work
- Sometimes before/during eating I have the most intense anxiety/nausea and want to jump out of my skin
- Generally feeling exhausted and not a lot of energy
Previously I suffered from migraines and headaches after stopping birth control, but those have actually gotten better in the last few months.
I drink 1 cup of coffee every day, stopped drinking + smoking weed (which I only really did 2-3 times a month). No other medications, taking supplements (fish oil, magnesium glycinate, D3 + K2, and B complex sometimes). I also run and go to the gym 1-2x a week, have good friends and family support. But I genuinely feel like my life is worse and desperately want to feel better. I feel like Marty McFly when he is slowly disappearing, like I am fading away and going to die soon.
I got prescribed with Zoloft 50mg, but I'm hesitant about starting a new drug. Has this helped anyone with derealization?