never growing up or maturing
Hello, hope some of you can feel validated or somewhat comforted after hearing my experience.
College has made me realize i need to grow tf up. I feel like a kid in an adult body that never grows, I’m so immature sometimes it genuinely bothers me. What even is ‘mature’? Is everyone just pretending or is there actually a ‘responsible grown adult’ out there? I feel like such an imposter in my friend groups, they dress way mature, wear makeup and act like how a 18 year old should act but when it comes to me I feel like a geek sia.. I still collect tcg and toys which is totally fine but sometimes it’s embarrassing to say out loud because I’ve been judge because of it.. honestly I’ve been sheltered my whole life, my parents never let me do anything despite me being the ‘behave’ siblings, while my sister gets to do whatever she wants even though she’s a ‘problem’ child. I feel like more of the discipline should go towards her but instead I get all the shots. I’m so tired because I’ve been nothing but behaved (I think) I get good grades, I don’t skip class and all those stuff but somehow they still don’t trust me when it comes to making my own decision. Ik it’s a dangerous world out there yadayada but I feel like part of growing up is experiencing something that is out of your comfort zone to help you grow and mature. They don’t even let me drive without their supervision even though I had my driver license for 6 months now and I never gotten into an accident. I can’t even dye my hair.. not even brown, they’re not even conservative so this is just them.. Im not trying to say these are the cause of my problems since I’m generally someone that doesn’t like going out or be socially active but at the end of the day im still a person who wants to have fun. Tbf they have nothing to worry about because my idea of fun inst even going to clubs or party but instead late night drive with friends at a forest/cabin? Idk that’s been in my bucket list since forever but ik I will never get to experience that. The conclusion of this story? Idk just venting and feeling like an outcast for not looking ‘mature’ or have my own life experience. Don’t even get me started on love life.. doesn’t even exist in my book. Istg I still look like the picture above. 👆 ik it’s not a big deal but hey my feelings are valid :) ty