I’m realizing ENM may not be for me after catching feelings — how do I handle this honestly?
I’m married and have been seeing someone in an ENM situation for a little over a month. Everything has been honest and consensual, but I’m starting to develop real feelings for her, and I’m realizing I may not be as emotionally prepared for ENM as I thought I was.
I don’t want to mislead her, pressure her, or make my emotions her responsibility. She has been honest with me from the beginning, and I respect that. At the same time, I feel like I need to be honest about where I’m at emotionally and possibly realign before I get deeper into something I may not be able to handle in a healthy way.
I’m struggling with how to approach the conversation without sounding possessive, clingy, or like I’m trying to change the agreement. I care about her, but I also know that ENM may not be something I’m currently capable of navigating without getting hurt or hurting someone else.
For those with ENM experience: how do I communicate this clearly and respectfully? How do I say that I’m developing feelings and may need to step back or reassess, without making her feel like she did anything wrong?