What to do? - same sex couple mid 20s
Hello all, I (27M) and my bf (25M) have been together for abt 5yrs now.
We are having a bit of an issue that is quite classic - he suddenly wants kids, and I've been against kids for quite some time.
Over the past few weeks through personal reflections and counselling, ive become more of a fencesitter - I'm open to having kids. But as a gay couple, it is super hard. We are both against surrogacy for ethical reasons, but the more I learn about adoption and how difficult it is (and also the ethical concerns behind it), especially in my country (Australia), the more I'm turned off by it.
I think having kids could be really amazing. But I'm not sure if a) he is aware of how difficult adoption is and b) if I'm fully ready to deal with the costs, grief and disappointment that comes with adoption. I'm also not sure if adoption is suitable because often times the child you adopt has really significant mental or health-related issues.
Has anyone here had similar experiences or can provide some wisdom for this? Preferably someone who's also in a same sex relationship.