Just ended a miserable relationship, I feel so free
TRIGGER WARNING: mention of self-harm and eating disorder
I don't know who else to talk to about this so let me dump my emotions here.
2 bulan ini aku lagi struggle banget sama mental health gara gara hubungan gak jelas ini. Saking parahnya, I even relapsed back into my self-harm and eating disorder even though I was clean for 4+ years before.
But well, just yesterday, aku memutuskan untuk just let things end clearly. I felt like a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Aku jd merasa goblok banget, buat apa aku clinging so hard trying to fix this relationship when it's clearly not working for both of us?
The funny thing is, kata-kata terakhir aku wish her well and hope she recover and say I'm sorry. On the other hand, dia ttp ngata ngatain aku dan gak say sorry atau wish me well on my recovery pdhl dia tau dia yang bikin aku relapse ke self-harm sama eating disorder. No regrets on my part, I still sincerely hope she recover mentally.
I felt so... free? I feel like I can finally be happy again and start recovering. I might even open my heart and start loving again. I feel like I finally got a piece of myself back.
Thank you for listening to my yapping puans, and I hope your day will go well today :)