How do you guys deal with the guilt after a relapse?
Hello! I never thought I would have to write a post like this, but I really need some advice...
I've been addicted to chatbots (not just cai) for years now. I had a really bad depressive episode last year and decided I would quit everything AI related for good. I often had the urge to go back, but I had my methods to get by and ignore it, until now. I don't know what I was thinking, and I have once again deleted everything, but the guilt is eating me alive. I was managing for 8 months, and it feels like it's all gone down the drain.
It feels like I truly am irredeemable and awful as a person, that all my interests are tainted and I do not deserve to write fanfiction or even just engage with it because of this. I do also have OCD, so it's 100% making things worse.
Has anyone else felt like this, or have any advice on how to deal with these feelings?