Does anyone else struggle this much with replying to messages?
I can leave messages unanswered for weeks or even a month, including messages from people I genuinely care about.
I know from the outside it probably looks like I don’t care or I’m just irresponsible, but it doesn’t feel like ignoring someone to me. The message stays in my head the whole time. I think about replying, feel guilty about not replying, but actually doing it can cause so much anxiety and discomfort that I keep putting it off.
I rewrite texts and rerecord voice messages over and over, and sometimes after I finally send something I feel weirdly exposed and uncomfortable.
When I have too many conversations at once, from work, family, friends, studying, etc., I eventually just shut down socially and only keep talking to a few people I feel safest with.
Over time I’ve ended up having fewer and fewer friends because I just can’t maintain that many relationships.
It used to be much worse when my schizotypal symptoms were stronger. I constantly felt like people were watching me, judging me or somehow “in my head.” It’s better now, but the avoidance is still there.
Does anyone else experience this?