u/entropy_trophy

We have a gag gift item in my family. Nothing dangerous, just stupid. It is about the size of a large shoebox.

The goal is to not be the owner of the item. As such any gifts offered that are as large or larger than the item are often flatly refused. It has been hidden, sent in the mail, disguised as being from someone not in on the prank, and modified to look like some other really specific thing (charcoal grill, drum set) so that the recipient's guard is down. Everyone has gotten smarter now though.

I have the thing. How do I ensure that I am able to unload it? It is often exchanged at/around holidays (as this is when gifts are typically given) but that is not a requirement. However showing up to someone's house will generally get your car and any bags searched to make sure you aren't trying to smuggle it in.

The general rule is that once you have touched it, it belongs to you- whether you know what it is at that point or not.

My child is about to start kindergarten. We received a supply list, which we followed. There was a separate list of "optional/wish list" supplies, but of course I don't know what other parents might choose from that list, and it wouldn't help the teacher to end up with 700 Sharpies but zero laminating sheets.. so I got a Target gift card I planned to give the teacher for whatever supplies are still needed once the dust settles.

I mentioned this to another mom who said she thought it was rude to make the teacher have to do the extra work of shopping herself, and also that the teacher might not be allowed to accept a gift card in place of actual supplies. I didn't think of any of this. I do not want to start the year on the teacher's bad side.

I know school policies can vary but I would appreciate any input on this scenario and what teachers would prefer. I do not have contact info to ask the teacher directly, we only met briefly at a welcome meeting. Plus I don't want to interrupt her last days of summer 🙂

Thank you!

This is hard to write but hoping an experienced teacher might have insight.

My 5 year old is in pre-k 4 (most of the kids are five by now). She is excluded and mistreated by her peers. She seems mostly neutral or unaware of what's happening; she mentions someone's rude comment or that she played alone but is not overly upset and likes going to school. Most of what I know is from my own observations and those of other parents. At drop-off I have seen kids tell her she can't join them at a center even though there are lots of empty chairs; ignore her when she says hello; throw her snack in the trash and giggle. One girl approached unprompted and said "if you try to talk to me today I will poison your lunch". The teachers of course do address if they see it.

At first I thought preschoolers can just be randomly mean sometimes, but now two separate parents I've run into at a park or birthday party have mentioned their kids telling them how horribly my daughter is treated by others at school. That hurt.

I tried to talk to the teachers. I was quick to say that I love them, do not blame them, and just wanted to know what they are seeing so I can figure out why my child is a target and how to fix it. They acknowledged that she is targeted but insisted she is doing nothing wrong; she does not have any behaviors that are off-putting. She shares, has similar interests to the other kids, is not annoying or bossy, is clean, etc. They just said that she is shy and doesn't mind playing alone. They also mentioned that maybe the other kids are emboldened because she doesn't have much reaction when mistreated (just leaves, no pushback or tears). But I have heard that big reactions make bullying worse, so I am not sure about that.

I think back to being a little kid and most exclusionary behavior I saw related to differences; kids who looked different, acted different, etc. My kid seems so absolutely typical and average. There is nothing about her physically, developmentally, behaviorally, socioeconomically, etc that I can pinpoint. She is shy but not too shy to talk to other kids. She plays wonderfully with one or two kids at a time but won't approach groups and is quick to leave if kids are mean or she is being ignored. The few individual playdates we have managed went great. I have also noticed that if she is the first kid to preschool or a birthday party, the next kid to show up will absolutely come play with her, but will abandon her as soon as someone else arrives. This also happens with new kids who joined the class mid year - she has had a few "best friends" of new kids who gravitate towards her initially but stop playing with her after a few days in favor of others who won't let her join.

I feel like there is something about my kid that the other kids can sense and I don't know what it is or how to help her. I begged the teachers and the other parents to be honest and tell me what's up, even if it's hard to hear.. but they insist they don't know. I think they are trying to spare my feelings.

Does anyone have ideas of what might be going on and why certain kids experience this? I really want kindergarten to be better, I want to cut this off before she becomes more aware or it escalates and she starts disliking school. I'm ready for hard truths, but I don't know how to get them.

My special needs child unravels socks compulsively. We have tried $30 per pair socks that are supposed to be indestructible, and they only last a day. This has nothing to do with the foot of the sock or seams at the toe; he pulls the threads starting at the cuff, while wearing shoes, until there is nothing left. Ankle and no-show socks do not fare much better. He still manages to get to them. He is fine with his other clothes. It is not a sensory issue and he does want to wear socks. He is not trying to remove them (he has the physical ability to take them off if he wanted to, and the language to state whether or not he wants to wear them). He just can't control the urge to find a thread and pull. Then he feels ashamed and gets upset when they are ruined.

At this point I buy dollar store socks and just throw away the remnants daily, but it seems wasteful and I don't like that he gets so sad to put them in the trash. I can't be the only person with this problem. All of the search results online are socks for athletes that are designed not to wear out, but not designed to combat intentional human destruction.

He is not picky about fabrics or styles, he would fit in a large child size, women's size, or smaller men's size.

So grateful for any suggestions.