Are they poly?
I’m afraid as I type this out I’ll realize I’ve been lied to. Last year I F met a man who was traveling through my town. We met up and we’re together for a weekend. At this time he was single. I kept in contact with him because I haven’t had great luck attracting nice men and he treated me so well I wanted to continue to get to know him. As he got to where he was going and settled into that life he met someone online through what I was told is a poly dating site. He told me a little bit about her other partners. He only had online friends as he calls us. He waited to tell me that they were getting more serious. And that was one thing I’m like if you get with someone just tell me and I will do the same. Around Christmas I felt he was getting serious with this other woman and I was correct I would find out later.
So we had talked about maybe getting to meet in person again someday but I just had the overwhelming feeling that’s never gonna happen again. I told him that and we had a phone call and talked about some things and you know he told me she was his main partner. At this point, I’ve already figured it out on my own so it wasn’t a shock, but it hurt because why couldn’t he just tell me in the beginning as I had asked. We continue to text and a phone call here and there. Lately I mentioned some sexual desire and I said I’m sorry if I’m crossing any boundaries. He said nope not crossing any boundaries.
I was thinking about maybe we can see each other again. So I said hey, I might have some vacation time coming up where I can go to your part of the world. And he acted like that would be something he wanted. He would just need to work some things out with his main partner. OK, I understand that. Then we would have a phone call but the thing is he never made time for that phone call. And I get a text recently about him wanting to spend his energy on things that fulfill him. Which I understand I think that’s what we should all work on. Is this a nice way of him telling me to leave him alone? And why does he keep texting me? I’ve given him so many outs dude you don’t have to have me in your life you can stop texting me or whatever and I will be fine.
My main question is why doesn’t he just leave me alone? Why does he keep me around? He has said before he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt but I feel like I’ve been hurt more by his lack of honest communication than if he would say I don’t think we should talk anymore.
Maybe we are too different. Long distance makes everything more difficult. Honestly I doubt I know him very well. He is okay with lying and that is not okay with me. After typing, rereading and editing I realize I need to focus on me. Love to you all. I hope you can find the thing that makes you your priority.