u/evilthemcrybaby

so I've never been in a relationship (I'm in my mid 20s) but I've had flings. The latest was the most intense I've had considering I never really had real experiences, we started it off by making ut clear neither of us wanted a relationship, me personally bc I'm too unstable for one not to consume me.

But then I started getting too attached. I acted willingly insufferable to have him get tired of me and just block me or something, I even blocked him twice only to unblock and ask for forgiveness (pathetic, I know) but alas he was one of those people pleasers who will never tell you they're bothered. He definitely is acting less interested, not at all mostly, takes way longer to respond, never texts first, but still says we're friends and he thinks I'm cool even though, apart from these words he has said once or twice, nothing else proves it.

The more its goes on, the more I realize how I can never live without him in my life, whether we're dating or not I'm dependent on having him around.

Now I do not think that is love, I doubt I could ever be in love with anybody, we were not dating tho we did have "fun" together, but this feels more like another obsession. It just feels stronger this time, idk. Might this be an fp?

I'm really lost, as I said I don't have much experience, my self esteem isn't the best, ppl don't hit on me and neither do I for that reason same reason.