u/explosivekazoo

Hey uh. Im not sure how to say this, but i made the decision to keep going with my degree here and im just getting progressively more miserable and sad. And as much as I try to branch out and have community, i just feel like I keep hitting walls. And i’m sick of my lab. My stupid fucking lab. My office. My room. I’m so fucking depressed and im only like.. 2 years away from getting my degree but I don’t think I csn do it anymore. I mean, i’ve been isolated for so long. I dont like my advisor or my lab, i only like my work but not enough to keep me here. I dont know if I can do it anymore but I don’t know if its another “psuedo breaking point”. I hate this school, this town, this state. I want this whole place to be a wash. I hate it here. I dont want to make these decisions rashly, but it’s been maybe 6 months. And I can’t anymore. God, i just fucking cant.

Hey is there any university marketplace? Looking at FB marketplace now, just wondering if anyone’s selling on campus.

Hey- my advisor wants me to propose this fall. Yes, I have data, some of it is messy and not the behavior I want to see. Some of it, I’m having trouble reproducing the exact numbers even if the overall behavior is the same. I feel very worried about proposing because of these things, I was just wondering if anyone else experienced such things.

Edit: it might be a key thing to include, I’m a 2nd year student. Everyone in my lab has proposed after 3 ish year mark, so their data was more robust and they had papers and such, which also makes me nervous. I dont want to give a shit proposal!