10+ years of hems, need advice
Hello!🫤 I have had hemorrhoids since i was a child.. I am currently 19 and i genuinely think one of my first memories is my mom wiping me as a little kid and telling me my hem will go away on its own.. Well it hasn't. I don't get how i got them at such a young age, and how they are still here. For years and years growing up i didn't even know what they were. And yes i am talking multiple at once. I think i have about 4 bubbles peeking out right now, i can't see the "source"😆 so i don't know if they connect or what. They are definetely coming out from the inside but never retract completely. It looks horrid and makes me extremely self conscious and disgusting.
Why i haven't gone to the doctor:
First of all they were always there.. so i guess i'm used to it and not panicking. I am also really ashamed.. The doc would definetely ask why i haven't come sooner. Also the thought of having a camera inserted through my hems sounds excruciating and i have heard surgery horror stories.
Secondly, they surprisingly don't hurt and i only have mild discomfort, only when i strain. Mostly i have normal soft bowel movements. If they start hurting it goes away in an hour. However it extremely stings when i try to put medication up there.
I have never even heard of someone as young as me having this severe looking hemorrhoids. I also have a weird "skin tag" looking thing flipping out, that i also always had since i was a child. I have tried looking up pictures on the internet and nothing looks close to my case. I am also aware that this would only go away with surgery, which i am very scared of. I wonder if the surgery would be worth it even if they rarely cause me pain?
I hate the disgusting look and the discomfort of cleaning. It literally looks like the end of my intestine is wrinkled outside..
So please give me advice, would surgery be worth it in this case? Could i have other health complications from leaving it like this for so long? Could it ever go away after 10+ years? I have tried hemorrhoid cream and castor oil presses. I am ashamed because i was so used to it that i never really cared and i am only trying to take care of it now, when its been too many years.💔