u/fattoadlover

My ex and I have been separated for about 5.5 years. Since the separation, I have had my son full-time while my ex has had him every other weekend. For a long time, I didn’t want to file for child support because I was comfortable with our agreement outside of court, that he have him every other weekend. I was also scared to file because he had made it very clear to me that if I filed, he would fight for custody. He really, really doesn’t want to have to pay child support. There is a pretty bit income disparity between us as he’s making about 3x what I make. A couple of months ago, I gave him a friendly heads up that I am probably goin to file for child support. He immediately responded with a nasty text about all of the things he thinks I do wrong as a mom, and in a roundabout way, calling me a bad mom. A few weeks later, I filed for child support. The following week, I got a letter in the mail that informed me he has filed for 50/50 custody.

Here’s the thing, if he would have truly wanted half custody 5 years ago when we split, or even 4 years ago, I would have definitely considered it and probably agreed to it. However, for a fact, he is only doing this because I filed for child support. He has made that very clear to me in the past and I even told the case worker at FOC when I filed last month that he was going to fight me for custody for doing that. Sure enough, I was right. He didn’t even wait more than a week. To me, it isn’t in the best interest of our child if he only wants half custody after 5 years because he is retaliating and trying to lower his child support calculations. There have been no changes in circumstance- no new job, no big change of income, no move, nothing.

Now he is also saying that I am not capable of taking care of our son. For 5.5 years, he never had any complaints about my parenting, it was very peaceful and amicable.

I don’t know what to do or where to start, because I feel that this is just his way of controlling the narrative, I truly don’t think he wants our son half of the time, because the entire time we have been separated, he has only gotten him every other weekend and never asked for extra time in between. I don’t want to go to court looking like the parent who is trying to keep their child from the other parent, but considering the circumstances, I really do not want to agree to 50/50 just for his financial reasons.

Does anyone have any similar experiences? I went from years of comfortable co-parenting to now having my character as a parent attacked.