u/fdmjake

From the office of President Krimson J. Serenity:

DUDREDA DECLARED LIBERATED AS THE LOWSEC SWAMP ABANDONS ITS FINAL METENOXS

Today marks a historic day for the free people of lowsec.

After weeks of grand speeches, dramatic proclamations, and countless declarations that the “Strait of Dudreda remains closed,” the leadership of the LOWSEC SWAMP, headed by the increasingly absent SNUFFED OUT, has officially abandoned its remaining Metenox operations in Dudreda.

Without a fight.

Without resistance.

Without so much as a courtesy undock.

Many predicted a glorious last stand. Instead, the Swamp quietly packed up its mud huts in the middle of the night, leaving behind only empty structures and disappointed pets.

The Ministry of Swamp Drainage can now officially confirm:

The Strait of Dudreda is OPEN.

BIGAB and SEDIT objectives remain secure.

The Swamp has been successfully drained.

BIGAB/SEDIT Moon Drills in place. DRILL BABY DRILL!

For the past month the Swamp insisted Dudreda belonged to them. They imposed imaginary tolls, declared imaginary blockades, and issued endless diplomatic communications about territory they ultimately proved unwilling or unable to defend.

History has reached its verdict.

Dudreda does not belong to the Swamp.

It belongs to those willing to undock.

The citizens of New Eden may now once again travel through Dudreda free of swamp bureaucracy, unsolicited Reddit essays, and self-appointed gate inspectors. The only toll required is the willingness to bring a fleet.

To the many former residents of the Lowsec Swamp: BIGAB wishes you the very best as you search for your next mud puddle. We understand change can be difficult.

To the leadership of SNUFFED OUT: thank you for your time of dedicated service as caretakers of Dudreda. We regret to inform you that your lease has expired.

No forwarding address was provided.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

The FAKE NEWS MEDIA is at it again! The failing Globe Eve News, together with the LOWSEC SWAMP, is desperately trying to rewrite history because that’s all they have left. They have no victories, so they invent them. SAD!

Let’s get the facts straight. The BIGAB FORTIZAR IN DUDREDA REMAINS FULLY OPERATIONAL. It’s beautiful. It’s tremendous. People are using it every day. The Strait of Dudreda is OPEN to traders, roamers, industrialists, explorers, hunters. ALL NON-SWAMP SCUM PILOTS.

The only people the Strait is CLOSED to are the SWAMP CREATURES themselves. We’re very selective. We have standards.

And these people are bragging about “taking down two BIGAB titans?” Give me a break! Those Titans weren’t killed by the Swamp. They were AWOXED by FRIES, a group we believed were friends. A betrayal. Total disgrace.

What exactly did SNUFFED OUT contribute?

Nothing.

They showed up afterward with their usual crowd of mindless F1 pushers, pressed a single button when the hard work was already done, and are now demanding credit. Incredible! It’s like showing up after the building has burned down and claiming you started the fire. These people would put a medal on themselves for watching someone else do the work.

The Swamp has become experts at one thing: claiming other people’s accomplishments. They didn’t set the trap. They didn’t engineer the betrayal. They didn’t outplay anybody. They simply arrived late, pressed F1, and immediately ran to Reddit to declare themselves military geniuses.

Meanwhile, BIGAB continues to grow. The Fortizar stands. Dudreda remains open for everyone except the Swamp. The Swamp can keep their fake headlines we’ll keep the system.

THE FORT IS UP. THE STRAIT IS OPEN. THE SWAMP IS STILL LOCKED OUT.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

Everybody is saying it, okay? The leaders of the LOWSEC SWAMP the failing Snuffed Out they have completely, totally ABANDONED THEIR PETS! It’s true. These so-called fearless leaders, they stood up, they made their little speeches, they said, "Oh, we're going to defend Dudreda! The Strait is closed!" Fake news. Complete fiction. And these poor pets, they believed every single word. Very sad.

Then the Fortizar timer hits. The big moment. And what happens?

THEY NEVER SHOWED UP.

Nowhere to be found. They fled. They left all of their little swamp creatures just sitting there, looking around. "Where’s mom and dad? Surely Snuff is coming?" Nope! Not coming. Completely abandoned. A total betrayal. Frankly, I’ve never seen leadership this weak and pathetic. It's a disaster. Even the pets, frankly, deserved much better.

Meanwhile, look at what we did. BIGAB anchored the Fortizar BEAUTIFULLY. It was a perfect anchor. Flawless. Everyone was there, a tremendous fleet. The energy nobody has ever seen energy like this. Strong FCs came up to me with tears in their eyes, saying, "Sir, we've never seen such a beautiful anchoring." People just couldn't stop talking about it.

Dudreda will be OPEN FOR ALL! We are opening it up! Hunters, roamers, explorers, the great industrialists—we love our industrialists, don't we? everybody is welcome. The only people who should feel uncomfortable, very uncomfortable, are the Swamp creatures who thought they owned the place. The Swamp is officially under eviction. Pack up your little Astrahuses, pack up your failing Fortizars, pack up your excuses. You're going to need all of them! Get them out! The only thing that won’t be welcome in Dudreda anymore is the Swamp.

Look, the Swamp has become nothing but a support group for professional losers. That’s what they are. Losers. It’s endless bureaucracy. Endless excuses. Endless blue standings. The worst deals in the history of EVE. If paperwork won wars, they’d be undefeated, wouldn't they? But unfortunately for them, you actually have to undock. You have to undock, and they just don't have the stamina to do it!

BIGAB doesn’t need your weak manifestos. BIGAB doesn’t need gate permits. BIGAB doesn’t need permission slips from the corrupt Ministry of the Swamp.

BIGAB JUST WINS. We win so much, you're going to get tired of winning.

To all the abandoned, very sad pets of the Lowsec Swamp: you’re welcome to keep waiting for SNUFFED OUT to save you. Go ahead and wait. Just don’t hold your breath, because they’re not coming.

THE FORT IS UP. THE STRAIT IS OPEN. THE SWAMP'S DAYS ARE NUMBERED.

Mikal Vektor, a TOTAL DISASTER, is back with another novel about the LOWSEC SWAMP. Nobody does more talking than the Swamp. Press releases, diplomacy, “blockades,” “embargoes”—they’re writing fan fiction because they certainly aren’t winning wars!

Let’s talk FACTS. The Lowsec Swamp, led by SNUFFED OUT, LOST TWO REVELATION DREADNOUGHTS. TWO! Billions and billions of ISK—GONE. Incredible. Some say it’s the greatest donation program in New Eden history.

Then the Swamp announced they had reinforced 17 moon drills. “This is it,” they said. “BIGAB is FINISHED!” Really? Because you couldn’t even finish 15 OF THEM. Fifteen! You reinforce everything in sight, then disappear when it’s time to actually show up. Sad! Very weak. Low energy.

Maybe—and I’m just asking the question—if Snuffed Out hadn’t spent YEARS blueing every lowsec group with a pulse, they might actually have someone left to fight in their own warzone. They turned lowsec into one giant SWAMP where everyone’s blue until it’s time to write another self-congratulatory announcement. Then they wonder why they have to come looking for content somewhere else. They conquered the Swamp, and now they’re bored living in it. THINK ABOUT IT!

And now they’re telling people they need permission from the Swamp to use a stargate? “No ships will be permitted…” Who elected these people? The Lowsec Gate Patrol? Nobody is buying it.

THE STRAIT OF DUDREDA IS OPEN. People are traveling through it every day. The only thing that’s closed is the Swamp’s ability to finish what they started.

While the Swamp is busy appointing diplomats, issuing embargoes, and pretending they’re CONCORD, BIGAB is still undocking, still fighting, still mining, and still collecting Revelation wrecks.

THE SWAMP LOST TWO DREADS. FIFTEEN MOON DRILLS ARE STILL STANDING. THE STRAIT IS OPEN. THE BLOCKADE IS A JOKE.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!