u/fente

Plot Summary: You’ve been fighting Optima for years. Somehow she has the uncanny ability to show up right when your schemes are about to succeed and ruin everything. Over time, you’ve both become familiar with each other’s patterns. There’s an ease to how you taunt each other and block attacks. Tonight, things feel different. You’re not in the mood for another lecture on the consequences of criminality, but instead of reprimanding you, Optima does something she’s never done before: asks whether you’re OK.

This is loosely set in the same universe as my 'Supervillain Kidnaps You' script, but is entirely standalone.

Word Count: 2,561 words

You must give credit, and it’s perfectly fine to monetize. If you record this script, please leave a link to your fill.

You’re welcome to change the genders, character names and pronouns as you’d like, or use different SFX than my suggestions.

______________Script Begins ______________

(Background SFX: Rainy city at night)

(SFX: Speaker landing behind Listener)

It’s a great choice for a heist. NeuroCo has never invested enough in security for their labs, especially considering the value of the prototypes they have stored here. This location also works perfectly for you; close enough to the docks to swiftly deliver the goods to your buyer, and opposite an active construction site to mask any noise from your entry.

You’ve even picked the best rooftop to surveil the place from. Really, this would have been one of your most successful jobs yet. Too bad I’m here before you could get started.

Hmm. Usually you would have made your first strike before I finished a single sentence. I was expecting a telekinetic blast aimed right at my head.

Still nothing? Either you have an elaborate scheme to defeat me you’re about to put into action, or…

(Long Pause)

(Sigh) OK, then. I guess we’re doing things differently tonight. But if this is a trap, I’m going to dunk you in the river a few times before hauling you to jail.

(SFX: Speaker sits down next to Listener)

Congrats on the prison escape last month, I guess. We thought we’d finally figured out the correct frequency for the forcefield to interfere with your telekinesis, but clearly we were mistaken. And firing the buttons from your prison jumpsuit like a shotgun blast when Nightingale caught up with you; nobody saw that coming. We’ve changed the uniform design for prisoners to prevent this for next time, by the way.

Still nothing to say? I’m really starting to get concerned. You should be halfway through a monologue by now. Something about how I’ll never truly defeat you, and my powers paling in comparison to your vast intellect. You haven’t even made eye contact with me once.

Are you feeling shy? You understand that last week when I punched you, I didn’t intend for my fist to land there. You were moving about too much! To be fair, you played it off very well. I barely saw you wince.

Oh, so it’s not about that. Thank you for finally responding; this was dangerously close to becoming me monologuing, and that’s more of a villain thing.

Do I get any more clues about why you’ve been so different lately, or should I just keep guessing? Jet Phase is covering my usual patrol area, so I can do this all night.

Back to moody silence, I see. Fine. Let me think… oh! You had a bad breakup. It would really make sense; you’ve been doing a lot more jobs lately, perhaps to distract yourself from your feelings?

I’ve noticed you and Arachnis haven’t been working together recently. You always seemed close with her; were you two… together?

(SFX: Telekinetic Blast)

Wow. I’m not sure what that soda can did to deserve getting blasted across the bay, but clearly I have the wrong idea. No breakup, then. So what is it? Something’s clearly wrong.

It’s not just how you’re acting tonight, either. Things have been… erratic lately. You’ve been hitting places all over the city, but with none of your usual finesse. The heist last week at the Federal Reserve was sloppy, and let’s not forget whatever that was at the museum. You left all the jewelry behind, but smashed all the windows on your way out? It was petty. That’s not like you.

Maybe I could just dismiss all of this as a stupid new strategy you’re trying out, but I saw the security footage from the casino job. You looked distressed, and your hands were shaking. Your hands never shake. Not when I catch you during a break-in, not even after we’ve been fighting for hours. This is new.

Look, I just want to know, and I'm asking this sincerely: are you OK? I know that we're ‘enemies' or whatever, but that doesn't mean I want you to suffer. If there’s something wrong, you can tell me. I won’t use it against you.

Are you being coerced by one of the other villains? It would explain why you’ve been doing so many jobs. Is it blackmail, or are they threatening someone close to you? The Sentinels can help you if you need it. It’s what we do.

No coercion? Well then, what is going on? After all the time we’ve spent fighting each other, I think I deserve an explanation for why your heart’s not in in it anymore. Talk to me.

Nothing? Come on. Something’s obviously happened to make you act like this.

Oh. So, you just feel different lately? Different how?

Lonely? That makes sense. No offense, but you’ve never seemed like the sociable type, even among your fellow villains. You don’t team up with them that often, and even when you do there’s not a lot of banter between you.

I know it’s none of my business, but do you have anyone close to you from outside your hero life? Parents, friends, maybe a partner?

I guess that makes sense. No offense, but you fit the profile for the typical supervillain perfectly. No significant social connections, a history of society treating you poorly; it’s exactly what we’re trained to look out for in new metahumans we encounter.

Let me ask you something else. In a typical week, how many people do you actually talk to?

OK, I guess I count. We do encounter each other pretty often. Who else?

Your fixer? Is that just talking about your next heist and getting your cut of the proceeds, or do you have a deeper relationship?

Hmm. So, what you’re essentially saying is that I’m one of two people you interact with in an average week? That’s… concerning.

I’m not mocking you! I mean it sincerely. I never thought that when we exchange banter during fights it’s your only real chance at human interaction. I guess even knowing most supervillains are loners, you always seem confident and charismatic when I encounter you. I just assumed you had people in your life you’re doing all this for.

Why do you keep fighting me, by the way? You’re certainly strong, but I significantly outclass you when it comes to my powers. Shouldn't you have a more appropriately matched hero to fight? Someone at your level, so you have at least a chance at victory?

Yes, I know this is your home, but there’s other cities with heroes you’d have a better chance of defeating. Coastal City has far more museums than here, and Glowbomb wouldn’t be able to keep up with your powers. You could steal to your heart’s content without worrying about getting caught. So why stay here?

You don’t have to answer that. I have a theory, anyway. I don’t think you want to win. I think you rely on fighting me, losing and getting caught for structure in your life.

You can laugh as much as you want, but consider this. Why do you stick to such a rigid pattern? You always hit banks on Mondays when the latest deposits arrive, and museums on Fridays. You rob labs and warehouses on Saturday nights when the workers are gone, and I always know to check the docks on Wednesdays. You’re predictable.

No, it’s not normal to have a schedule when you’re a supervillain, dummy! Unpredictability is what keeps them out of jail. We never know when Automata’s going to strike because she uses a random number generator to plan her attacks. But you; I always know where you’ll be.

Let’s examine another interesting fact. Whenever we fight, you stick to using the same moves every time. Start with the telekinetic blast to the head, dodge left when I counter with my fists, try to trip me up with a shot at my ankles, then struggle while I pin you against a building. You never try anything new.

But that’s just it, it’s not your fighting style. I saw you fight Blue Kick during the battle at the Infernal Elite lair. You were different. An unpredictable pattern of blows, dodging in all directions, and you used your telekinesis to fire a pile of rock like shrapnel. You’ve never used that move with me.

You’re still trying to explain this away? Fine then. My final piece of evidence, and it’s the nail in the coffin. Brock Chemicals.

Don’t pretend you don’t remember! I caught you halfway through a robbery there last year. You were trying to steal the formulas for their new catalyst. We had our usual skirmish, blast to my head, dodge left, the regular. But then you missed me with a blast and hit one of the chemical tanks.

Whatever it was that spilled out… some element in the vapor it gave off weakened me. I’ve never felt like that before, unable to think, my arms and legs going limp. I collapsed on the ground, struggling to breathe, while you stood over me as my vision went dark.

And when I came to, I was lying in the car park outside, and you were gone. You saved me.

Please, don’t try to deny it. There were security cameras, and The Sentinels pulled the footage. You dropped the briefcase with the formulas and dragged me out of there, then flew off into the night. What’s more, you clearly never told any other villains about it, as none of them have tried to use anything similar against me. Information about a guaranteed Optima countermeasure would sell for enough in the underworld to buy your own country, but you didn’t say a word, did you? Why?

(Laughter) You ‘forgot about it’? Really? That’s the best excuse you can come up with? What happened, you were too busy redecorating your lair to remember the one and only time you could have killed me but chose to help me instead?

You know what I think? I think that deep down inside you, you actually have a conscience.

Hey, don’t fly away! Having a moral code isn’t a bad thing. I mean, it makes things difficult if you’re a villain, I guess.

It’s not just about the way you are with me. Think about how you use your powers. You’re doing simple smash-and-grab jobs for quick cash, but we both know your powers could be used for so much more. You can propel a coin with enough telekinetic force to go through six inches of titanium, and you’re just blasting holes in walls and bank vaults?

There are plenty of evildoers out there who’d hire you for the real supervillain work, like high-profile assassinations, sabotage and mass murder. They’d pay a hell of a lot more than you make for your heists, too. But instead you’re content with robbing corporations and people with more money than sense. What can you call that other than a moral code?

Why don’t you sit back down? Just for another minute or two. I have an idea that might prevent you from feeling so alone.

(Pause)

Thank you. I know you don’t trust me yet. For what it’s worth, this is strange for me too. I’m used to slinging punches at you, not… talking.

What is your goal, exactly? In terms of all of these heists. You don’t seem like one of the embittered losers trying to ‘destroy the government’ or get revenge against society, so what are you doing all this for?

You don’t really know, do you? Your expression tells me you haven’t asked yourself that question for a long time. I don’t think it’s really about the money anymore either. I’m sure you’ve made yourself a substantial fortune by now. Have you spent any of it? Bought yourself a mansion, sports cars, maybe a yacht?

No? So why do you keep taking these jobs? If you’re still living in a crappy apartment eating microwave ramen and using an abandoned warehouse as your lair, what’s the point of any of this?

Hey, it’s OK. I know this is a lot to process. Just breathe. I’m not trying to cause you distress. I just think you should consider why you’re using your powers this way.

What if you just… stopped? Told your fixer you’re quitting, and left it all behind.

No, I’m not suggesting you try and become a ‘normal’ person. I think you’d struggle working a 9-5, and staring at spreadsheets all day doesn’t seem like your thing. You clearly enjoy using your powers, so trying to suppress them wouldn’t be good for you.

What if there was a way you could keep using your powers, but without any of the guilt or regret? And you’d be working alongside people, so you wouldn’t be lonely. Best of all, you’d be helping people, so there would be a real sense of purpose to every day.

Yes, I’m proposing you join the Sentinels. Technically it would actually be the Junior Sentinels, as you’d need to complete a trial period as a trainee before getting official member status.

Don’t look at me like that! It’s not so bad being a Junior Sentinel. That’s how I got started, you know.

Yes, your team would mostly consist of teenagers learning to use your powers, and yes, you would have to wear a cape with ‘TRAINEE’ in big letters, but it’s important to learn how to be a hero. It’s very different from being a villain, after all. There are guidelines on how to protect citizens and appropriate fighting techniques you’d have to follow.

Look, I really believe you can do this and become a great hero, so I’m willing to become your official mentor if you join up. With my guidance I’m sure you could join the main Sentinel team in… four months?

Just think about it. I know you’re still feeling distressed, and you’d need to cut off all your underworld contacts, and you’ve probably got a contract with---

Wait, did you just say yes? As in, ‘Yes, I want to be a hero’?

OK! That was much more sudden than I was expecting, but if you really want to change your life for the better then I’ll do whatever it takes to support you!

Why don’t you come by the Hall of Heroes tomorrow? You’ll need to go through a security screening, and sign a whole bunch of forms, but you could probably start your training immediately. I promise to put in a good word for you with the rest of the team. Some of them can be pretty skeptical towards reformed villains, but I really believe that you want to do good.

One more thing. We’re going to have to change that costume to something more… approachable. Heroes don’t really wear all black, unless they’re one of the edgy ones, and you don’t want to be like that. Maybe something in blue, with a yellow logo? I’m just pitching ideas here.

Also, we’re going to get you a mask that children won’t be scared of. If a kid’s balloon is stuck in a tree you want them to feel comfortable asking you for help. With your current mask, they’d probably spot you and then climb up the tree themselves to get away from you…

I swear you won’t regret this. The road ahead won’t be easy, but if you really try, you can become someone people look up to. I’ll see you tomorrow!

(Fade out)

This is the second and final part to my 'Queen & Assassin' series. The first part can be found here.

Plot Summary: After the Queen you were ordered to assassinate chose to keep you as her own, life as her bodyguard and attendant has been… easy? No more brutal training or lives to take, just the simple task of watching over her. But of course, her interest in you extends deeper than your job, and now you spend every night sharing her bed. Tonight, she plans to lavish you with love and affection until you can’t take anymore...

Word Count: 2,396 words

You must give credit, and it’s perfectly fine to monetize. If you record this script, please leave a link to your fill.

You’re welcome to change the genders, character names and pronouns as you’d like, or use different SFX than my suggestions.

______________Script Begins ______________

(SFX: Door opens)

You’re late.

Don’t give me that petulant look. I’ve been very clear about my expectations when it comes to your duties. No working after seven, for any reason. I know how you like to patrol the ramparts and check on the guards, but you’re not permitted to work this hard.

Your primary duty is to please me, lest you forget. And it does not please me to be sitting alone in our bedchamber while you are out in the cold checking whether the banners hanging from the battlements aren’t easily climbable, or whatever paranoid concern it was tonight.

Don’t think I didn’t notice how early you left this morning, either. I reached over for you and found only cold sheets instead of your warm embrace. It left me in an irritable mood all day. The Vernese ambassador has you to thank for being disciplined so harshly.

So, how will you right this wrong you have committed? I’m waiting to hear your ideas.

No, a kiss is not enough. We both know that’s a guarantee for tonight regardless. There hasn’t been an evening in months that didn’t include hours of our lips locked together. I want you to use your creativity.

(Giggle) Spank you? Now we’re getting somewhere interesting. The sudden appearance of a stammer as you spoke was a lovely bonus. As delightful as I find your posterior, I have something… gentler planned for tonight.

Why does the word ‘gentle’ provoke fear in you? I thought we’d begun to move past this. You’d still rather be beaten than express vulnerability, wouldn’t you?

I know you were taught you were unworthy of affection and care, but that was a lie born of cruelty. You’re safe to expose your inner self to me.

Those who hurt you are nothing but mouldering bones now, darling. The headquarters where you were trained is a pile of ashes. You are free.

So, let’s begin your punishment. I want you to stand in front of me, and tell me three aspects of yourself you take pride in.

I see you looking towards that window! Don’t even think about trying to escape. You must atone for neglecting your duties.

I’m waiting to hear the first thing you’re proud of, darling. Speak clearly now.

No, I’m afraid I’m not going to accept any answers related to your skills as an assassin or bodyguard. I want you to suggest something deeper within you, more innate. Think hard, now.

(Long pause)

You’re proud of keeping yourself in good health? I… suppose that’s a valid example, if a little boring. Still, I can’t disagree. The last time I saw your training with your shirt off I thought of nothing else all day…

Your second response, darling. Perhaps something related to your temperament this time?

Pride from being kind to others. A better answer, especially considering it’s what attracted me to you in the first place. You have a truly compassionate soul, my love. Although I may suggest that kindness shouldn’t extend to everyone you encounter. Those noble ladies who swarmed you at last month’s ball; they don’t deserve to converse with you. Remember who you belong to.

Your final point of pride, darling. Make it a good one.

I… that means a great deal to me. To be proud of making me happy, it’s…

No, of course my eyes aren’t tearing up. Don’t be ridiculous, my love. It’s just the reflection of the candlelight, nothing more. Come here.

(SFX: Extended kissing)

(Out of breath) You’re getting so much better at kissing. The first time my face drew close to yours you flinched as if you’d been struck. Now you’re starting to express your passion. And you’ve finally learned your tongue has more uses than simply talking…

I missed you, darling. I’m going to have to amend your official tasks to keep you closer to me during the day. Of course, I may simply revoke all of your duties. After everything you’ve suffered through, you deserve a life of indolent luxury.

You’re compelled to feel useful though, aren’t you? You still haven’t grasped that even when you’re doing nothing at all, you’re still so important to me. Seeing your smile, or feeling you gently squeeze my hand whenever you feel nervous; it invigorates me in a way nothing else can.

Sit on the bed for me; I want to straddle your lap.

You make for an exceedingly comfortable seat. Of course, I have to be careful not to move about, lest the surface I’m sitting on… shift.

(Giggle) Is that a blush, or did you suddenly put on rouge for me? You’re so delightfully easy to tease, darling. I’ll never understand how another woman didn’t maneuver you into her bed before I did.

I have a very important task for you, my love. This will require all of your skills and experience to successfully perform.

I command you to… not let out a gasp when I kiss the weak spot on your neck.

(SFX: Kiss)

(Laughter) A complete defeat! I’d be lying if I said I was disappointed, however. It’s adorable to see the stoic former assassin so flustered.

Tomorrow night, we’ll see how you respond to using my tongue to trace a path down your neck. Something tells me you’ll fail that task as well.

Hold me in those strong arms of yours. The stress and annoyances of the day always vanish when we’re nestled together.

(SFX: Hugging)

Ahh… there’s nothing I enjoy more than this, darling. I feel utterly at peace in your embrace. All the burdens of leadership simply melt away like fallen snow.

(Pause)

Last week Countess Aveline asked me whether you were my courtesan, you know. I think witnessing me press you against the wall in the dining hall gave her the idea. I was tempted to say that you were. Of course, as my courtesan you’d need a different outfit. I imagine you’d wear a few tiny scraps of silk, and nothing more.

I’d like you to attend court tomorrow, by the way. There’s a delegation of merchants from the city-states arriving, and I’ll need you close by so I don’t die of boredom. Of course, I’d much rather be sitting on your lap like this rather than my throne while they ramble on, but I do have to make some concessions to propriety.

You should have some wine to help you relax. I just received an excellent vintage from the south. There’s a glass already prepared for you.

No, you can’t hold the glass, darling. You know how I like to do this. Open your mouth for me…

(SFX: Wine being poured)

Good boy! You always look so vulnerable when I hold your throat for you. It makes me want to see your reaction if it hardened my grip.

What’s this on your hand? A cut? My love, what did you do?

It doesn’t matter if it’s hardly noticeable. I noticed it. This is yet another piece of evidence you’ve been over-exerting yourself. These hands should be as soft as calfskin, not marred by nicks and calluses. Can I trust you to be more careful?

I very much hope so. Otherwise I’ll have to devise an even more onerous punishment for you. Perhaps I’ll order you to write me a poem about your feelings for me…

(Pause)

Darling… do you ever think about your previous life? I know from experience how difficult it can be to gain release from the hold memories can have over you. Sometimes, when I glimpse you staring into space, I wonder whether you’re reliving something terrible.

(Sigh) I’m so sorry to hear that, my love. I wish my kingdom extended to those dark reaches of your mind, and that I could send my troops to eradicate those dreadful traces of your past. The freedom you’ve earned should be absolute.

You’re definitely making progress nonetheless. The first time I saw you express happiness… it set my heart aflame. I believe it was the day you presented the new guard patrol schedule to me. I complimented your attention to detail, and you suddenly flashed me that shy little smile. I could barely contain myself! I can’t express how much it meant to provoke pride within you.

After that moment, my priorities changed completely. I find myself always seeking new methods to coax out that same smile, to see you express excitement and joy. I’ve showered you with enough gifts to purchase a mansion, but I learned over time extravagance matters little to you. Simple affection and intimacy is what truly moves you.

Something tells me you wish to ask me something, specifically the hesitant look in your eyes. Speak, darling. There’s nothing you can’t say to me.

(Laughter) I will never understand the intricacies of your mind. No, my love, of course I’m never going to ‘get tired of you’. I’m utterly besotted with you, and I’ve never felt anything close to this for any other person. You will remain at my side forevermore.

I think it’s time for our usual evening ritual. You know the procedure. Shirt off.

Hold a moment before the next step. Keep that position, then turn around slowly.

Mmm… delightful. As long as I live, I’ll never tire of that sight. You can continue now. Face down on the bed for me.

Good boy. Now, where were we? I believe we’d finished with the scars on your shoulder blades, so we can start going through those on your lower back. Let’s see…

I think… this one, the large mark that resembles a spiral. Tell me how you received this laceration. Leave nothing out.

I know speaking these truths hurts you, darling. But this is the only way for you to heal. The scars will remain on your body, but those on your soul will vanish once exposed to the light.

(Pause)

(Sigh) I’m so sorry, my love. To suffer such cruelty… my heart breaks for you. No child should ever have to fear the adults they’ve been entrusted to. I hope you can believe me when I tell you no-one will ever harm you again.

Hold still while I press my lips to this scar. Laying a kiss filled with love on the spot where you were hurt releases you from any lingering pain or trauma.

(SFX: Kiss)

All better. You know, this ritual will get a lot more interesting once we reach the scars on the lower half of your body…

Your blush never quite manages to dissipate before I say something to make it bloom again. It always enchants me to see you like this. A few words or a soft touch, and you melt into a puddle of embarrassment.

Turn over and lay your head in my lap. I wish to play with your hair.

That’s my good boy. So obedient for me. I’d call you my pet, but that misrepresents your intellect and empathy. You’re worth far more than some mindless beast.

In the summer, I’ll have to undertake a state visit to Tyrsos. All for the usual tedious reasons; asserting our sovereignty, securing new trade agreements, et cetera. Still, there should be time in my schedule to relax with you. Tyrsos has quiet gardens, and the most stunning beaches on the Continent, with endless stretches of white sand.

We’ll dine on the finest cuisine, then stroll along the shoreline as the sun slips below the horizon. Perhaps, once night has truly fallen, we can make love beneath a tapestry of stars...

Of course there’s plenty of places I’m going to take you in my own kingdom. We can wander through the southern vineyards, visit the Grand Marketplace, even climb the Northern Mountains together! I’m sure you’ll look adorable bundled up in furs.

I see your eyelids getting heavy, darling. I’m sure you want to sleep, but there’s one last item on tonight’s agenda. Wait here for a moment.

(SFX: Footsteps, drawer opening)

I have a gift for you. I know, you’re uncomfortable with displays of extravagance, but this is far more important than some trinket. Take this scroll.

(SFX: Scroll unfurling)

I know the phrasing used is very obtuse, so allow me to explain in practical terms what the document means. As of this morning, you have officially been appointed as Duke of a very prosperous duchy in the Heartlands. You possess a gargantuan amount of farmland, as well as several towns and a finely furnished castle, not that you’ll be visiting it very often. You are now a very high-ranking member of the nobility.

I understand your confusion. In your previous life, you were only connected to the upper class while you slitting their throats. Now you outrank almost all of the lords and ladies who strut about in court.

How did this happen? Well, the previous holder of this illustrious title is currently languishing in the cells far beneath our feet. Attempting to mount an insurrection against me has never been a shrewd plan. Now the position will be held by the only person I can completely trust: you.

To be fully honest, there is another reason I’m gifting you this title. One of the oldest laws in the kingdom states that a monarch can never wed a commoner. Even my vast influence wouldn’t be enough to overcome such a fundamental piece of legislation. However, now that you’re a noble, nothing can prevent our betrothal.

Yes, I am asking you to marry me, darling. I apologize for presenting you with a scroll rather than a ring, but I promise you’ll receive one with enough diamonds to buy yourself another duchy. There is only one last question for you to answer; do you wish to be my King?

(SFX: Kissing)

I’m so glad, my love. All these years devising endless plots and machinations, but I’ve never felt more fulfilled than when I signed this document. Our love will be an official matter of record for all time.

Of course, there is something I want from you in return.

A heir. I must bear a child to continue my legacy, after all. Do you accept the task of making one with me?

(Giggle) So eager to answer! I’m not surprised by your passion. Well, there’s no time like the present. I have a few more orders for you I think we’ll both enjoy you performing...

Plot Summary: You are the Great Hero, who slew the Defiler in a climactic battle prophesied for millennia. However, in your moment of victory the Betrayer, your oldest friend, struck you with a poisoned blade and you fell into an endless slumber. Centuries have passed, and you are immortalized as a demigod, while an elite sisterhood keeps your body safe in a grand temple. The newest priestess has been given the honor of cleaning your sanctum for the first time, when the unthinkable happens: you wake up.

Word Count: 2,126 words

You must give credit, and it’s perfectly fine to monetize. If you record this script, please leave a link to your fill.

You’re welcome to change the genders, character names and pronouns as you’d like, or use different SFX than my suggestions.

______________Script Begins ______________

(SFX: Stone door slowly opening, followed by footsteps)

Oh goodness… Just stay calm. I know I’ve just entered the most sacred room in the entire world, but I have to stay calm.

Remember the training. Don’t think about who’s inside the marble sarcophagus in the middle of the room, just focus on the tasks. I can do this.

I have the ceremonial cloth, the ceremonial water chalice, and the ceremonial broom. I’m ready. Just clean everything as fast as possible and don’t knock anything over. Easy, right?

I’ll start with sweeping the floor. Not that it’s really needed, considering there’s hardly a trace of dust. The daily cleaning ritual ensure it’s always spotless, as it should be to honor our Great Hero.

(SFX: Broom sweeping floor)

This would be a lot easier if the brush end wasn’t made from carved ivory. A normal straw broom like the one at home sweeps a lot better. I suppose that wouldn’t be extravagant enough for here, though.

Even the tiles have the Virtuous One’s symbol embossed on them… they spared no expense to make this place reflect His valor.

Now the floor’s free of dust, I need to wash the sarcophagus.

(SFX: Water being poured on cloth, then washing sounds)

(Deep breathing) Just don’t think about it. Just focus on moving my hand back and forth and forget that only a few inches of stone are between me and His body.

I can’t stop thinking about it! To be this close to the most powerful man to ever live… it’s terrifying and uplifting all at once.

The marble feels... warm, despite how cold the room is. Is it His power coming through the rock? I’ll add that to the list of things not to think about...

All clean! Now I need to dust the altar. And I need to be very careful not to knock anything over. The other acolytes still mock me for dropping that urn during the evening service. It’s not my fault for tripping over the steps…

I-I can’t believe I’m actually touching the helmet He wore during the Ultimate Conflict! I can see the crack from the Defiler’s warhammer. To think the Hero’s hands must have touched this too, maybe even in the same spot I’m holding it.

I will resist the urge to look inside and see if there’s any strands of His hair left inside, and focus on the dusting. There’s a lot of sacred artifacts left to clean.

I know the High Priestess told me not to touch His sword. It’s a shame I can’t clean it, considering how rusty it is. Who knows what enchantments are woven into the blade, though. It’s safer to stay away.

I’ll just dust the treasure collection… so many jewels! This ruby alone must be worth more than the village I grew up in…

Now I’ll dust this crystalline statue, and then-- Oh no!

(SFX: Glass shattering)

No, no, no, no, no! It just slipped… I didn’t mean to. Oh, gods…

I’ll have to tell the High Priestess, but she’ll banish me from the sisterhood, and then I’ll have to go home and be a sheep herder like my parents… Why do I have to be so clumsy?!

Maybe if I just sweep the shards under the altar, they won’t notice it’s missing?

But the Great Hero always sees our transgressions, and when He finally awakens on the Glorious Day He will tell of my sin, and I will be remembered for being butter-fingered and a liar for all eternity…

There must be some solution to this. If I just relax for a second and think, I’m sure I can--

(SFX: Stone sarcophagus explodes)

(Shriek) What was that?! I didn’t touch anything, I swear!

The sarcophagus! It shattered! Oh gods, oh gods… I’d better start practicing my sheep shearing…

Wait. What’s that moving behind the dust? It… it can’t be…

(Gasp) Virtuous One! I-it is a honor of unimaginable proportions to witness your return to life! I… I…

(Whispered) Remember the sermon about the procedure for the Glorious Day! Granted, this wasn’t supposed to happen for centuries, and they weren’t very specific about what to do…

Umm… Uhh… you look just like the paintings! And the stained-glass windows. And the dolls the children make on your Holy Day. You don’t really look like the face on the pies they bake for the feast, but it must be hard to get the details right with pastry…

I’m sorry, I’m rambling. This… this was not supposed to happen today. Or in my lifetime. And I definitely wasn’t supposed to be the first face you see.

Do you need to sit down? They have a ceremonial throne for you in the main hall. It has emeralds, and is made out of pure gold, and--

Oh. That bench is fine too. It’s probably more comfortable than the throne anyway, although I shouldn’t say that.

I am Alia, an acolyte of the Virtuous Sisterhood. I only just became an acolyte, though. I passed the final test of faith yesterday. This wasn’t one of the scenarios they trained me for, however.

Allow me to express the eternal gratitude all of us humble citizens feel for your fearless sacrifice, Virtuous One. The Defiler’s death gave the world freedom from fear and tyranny. We exist in the shadow of your--

W-what? Where are you? You’re in the Sacred Temple of the Virtuous One, Virtuous One. In the city of Agovin? I know you never visited here in your quest, but you must have heard of it.

Why are you here? W-well, there was actually a war fought over which kingdom should protect your sacred body. It’s a very long tale, but eventually you were brought here to rest until you recovered from the poison.

You look… confused. Do you remember the Ultimate Conflict against the Defiler?

You don’t recognize the words I’m using, do you?. I’m talking about the battle at Harlan’s Peak, where you defeated… Sekran.

I’m sorry for flinching. We’re not supposed to say his name. It’s profane.

Yes, you won the battle. Do you not remember cleaving his vile body in two with your blinding blade as the world cried out in exultation?

You do remember? That’s good! That was always my favourite part of your legend, although I enjoy the dilemma you faced in the Yellow Forest as well. How did you know to strike the water with your fists? And what was King Grauman like? Did his beard really reach down to his feet?

Oh, you’re clutching your head. Am I talking too much, or are you still affected by the poison?

You… you don’t know about the Betrayal, do you? Oh gods. The legend says you turned to the Betrayer after the traitorous blow and uttered a single word of rebuke, but that may be apocryphal.

I really should go and get the High Priestess. She’s the one who’s supposed to explain all this to you. There’s a whole procedure we’re supposed to follow on the Glorious Day, and I’m not doing a very good job of it. I don’t think I’m supposed to talk about pies or ask you so many questions, so if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’ll find Her Holiness and she’ll--

Oh! You grabbed my arm. To be touched by the Virtuous One, it’s… I am honored. Do… do you want me to stay?

Very well, I can stay if that would please you. Please know that what I’m about to tell you may cause you some distress, for which I apologize.

After you slew the Defiler, as you stood above his withered corpse with blade in hand, your oldest friend, Raffen, he… approached you from behind. Twisted with jealousy, he drew the venomous fang given to him by the Witch of the Caverns, and…

I’m so sorry, O Virtuous One. To have such a close ally raise his hand against you: I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. The poison in the fang rendered you lifeless, until now.

What happened next? Well, Raffen… was torn to pieces. By King Grauman’s hounds. There’s a painting of it in the hallway, actually. You probably don’t want to see that, though.

Y-you want to speak to King Grauman? He passed many years ago. It’s been a long time since that day, Virtuous One. 387 years, to be precise.

Oh! I didn’t mean to cause you to panic. It’s OK, really. Not much has changed since your time, I promise! Cities are bigger, and we wear different fashions, but it’s basically the same.

Oh. Oh no. I’m so sorry, Virtuous One, but your betrothed, Carlotta, she… Her life was long, and she became a wise and just queen. She never took another lover, and always spoke fondly of you.

Please don’t cry! I apologize for causing you such torment with my words, it wasn’t my intention. To cause you grief like this… I shall be condemned to suffer for eternity...

I know this will be little comfort for you, but your sacrifice is venerated throughout the world. The records of your inspiring speeches to your troops are studied and debated by scholars. You really are the most important person alive.

Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say. I can see you’re only getting more overwhelmed! I’m sorry, truly. I’ve never been very good at comforting people. I really should go and find someone else to be here with you.

You don’t have to stay in the temple, you know. The village where you grew up has been preserved, just as it was in your time. Your home, and the tavern where you worked as a serving-boy should be the same as you remember. You could always live there, if a life of being worshiped here is too strange for you.

To be honest, you could live anywhere! There isn’t a town anywhere on this earth that wouldn’t welcome you as a hero.

What?! You can’t possibly mean that. Why don’t you want to be a hero anymore? Generations of children have looked up to you as a legend. I looked up to you. Besides, in your lifetime you had to struggle against the doubt and distrust of the unbelievers around you. Why not simply bask in the adulation now?

I… I never considered that, Virtuous One. The stories say you always aspired to be a conquering hero. The idea you ever wished for a simple life, it’s… That part of you never made it into the official history.

The more I think about it, the more I see that we acolytes ever considered the real you, behind the legend we were taught. A human being, with worries and emotions. I’ve spent so long seeing you carved from marble or rendered in glass, I forgot you’re really flesh and blood.

And… and I feel sorry for you, that you never received that simple life you imagined for yourself. You deserve that more than a golden throne or a horde of worshipers.

(Gasp) You… you patted my shoulder! I still can’t believe you’re here next to me. There are thousands of other priestesses throughout the years who would have killed for this opportunity.

You wouldn’t want them here instead of me? Virtuous One, you’ll make me cry! You don’t want to see that, believe me. My face gets all red and blotchy when I weep. It’s not a sight worthy of your presence.

There’s going to be a lot of commotion over you returning, you know. There’ll be ceremonies, feasts, and endless rituals you’ll have to participate in. Kings and emperors from across the world will journey here to see you and receive your wisdom.

I would likely be imprisoned for daring to utter this, but I have a suggestion for you. If you find the circus of adoration surrounding you as tiresome as I suspect you will, come find me. My room is on the bottom floor of the eastern tower. We could run away in the night, travel to wherever you wish. I could help you find the humble life you’ve yearned for, if you’d let me accompany you.

Just think about it. There’s no need to make a decision now. Your thoughts needs to be focused on what you’ll say to the adoring masses anyway!

I suppose we should inform the others. I’ll lead the way. I wager Sister Elena will faint as soon as she lays eyes on you!

(SFX: Stone door slowly opening, followed by footsteps)

One last thing, Virtuous One. When the High Priestess asks about what happened, I’m going to tell her that the crystal statue was smashed when the sarcophagus shattered, not before. Please don’t tell her the truth...

Plot Summary: You’re relaxing in your apartment when you hear a knock at your door. You open it to find a stern-looking woman. The moment she sees you she starts talking in a faux-cutesy voice, but as soon as the door shuts the mask drops and she explains why she’s really here.

Word Count: 2,029 words

You must give credit, and it’s perfectly fine to monetize. If you record this script, please leave a link to your fill.

You’re welcome to change the genders, character names and pronouns as you’d like, or use different SFX than my suggestions.

______________Script Begins ______________

(SFX: Knock at door, followed by door opening)

(Cute voice) Hey, baby! Sorry for coming over without texting first, but I was in the area and I just had to see you. I brought those cupcakes you like from the bakery. Let’s watch a movie!

(SFX: Door shuts)

Quiet. I know you’re confused, but it’s important you express it in a normal speaking tone. Sit down on the couch, and I’ll explain the situation.

I don’t care if this is your apartment, I’m the authority here and you will do as I say. I can and will use physical force if you resist further. So when I say sit down, you sit down.

Good. I expect less defiance from you moving forward. Let me explain what’s going on.

You can call me ‘Boston’. It is my official clandestine designation, or code name. I am a government operative tasked with an important mission: covert surveillance of a high value target.

What? No, you’re not the target, you fool. Do you think I’d be revealing any of this if you were? Besides, what about you makes you of interest to the government? Do you think we need intel about obscure video game facts and the best brand of microwave ramen?

The actual target I’m here to surveil lives in this building, on this floor. No, I’m not going to tell you who; that information would only put you at risk. What you need to know is this is an extremely dangerous individual who’s highly skilled at infiltration.

We’ve been trying to set up observation on this person for a while, but they very rarely leave their apartment. Ideally we would simply rent one of the other suites on this floor, but they’re all occupied and any actions to requisition one may arouse our target’s suspicions. We needed an excuse to have an agent regularly visit this floor.

And this is where you come in. You’re an established resident of this building, as well as the only individual on this level not in a relationship. Which makes you the perfect cover for me.

Clearly you don’t get it, so let me break this down for you as simply as I can. We’re dating now. Publicly, I mean. I am your new girlfriend, who you adore and just love inviting over to your apartment.

I can’t tell if you normally react to information by just staring at people or if you’re particularly slow today, so I’ll contain explaining while your brain reboots.

In public, you’ll call me Chloe. Here is a binder containing my background, as well as likes, dislikes and personal details. It’s designed so that you slowly gain access to more information about me as the ‘relationship’ progresses; for now, you need to memorize everything in the red section. And yes, I will be testing you later.

I’ll provide you with a brief summary; we met in the grocery store, I’m a veterinarian because I love puppies, and I was attracted to you because of your smile and humor. I’ve yet to see you smile during this conversation, so I hope it’s as attractive as the binder says it is.

Understand? Good. Now, in terms of the visit schedule--

You have a question. Why am I not surprised? Fine. Tell me.

What do you mean, ‘what’s in it for you’?! Isn’t it enough to know you’re serving your country?

That was… a much faster ‘No’ than I expected. Well, since you’re not a patriot, I should mention we can offer a substantial monetary reward after the target has been successfully apprehended.

I’m not telling you how much! Look, you want motivation, consider this: if you refuse this assignment or do anything to jeopardize my mission, the full might of the government will be used against you. Citizenship can be revoked at any time, you know.

I’ll take your sudden silence as evidence you’re fully on board with this. Good. Now give me your phone.

(Sigh) And we’re right back to the arguing. Do you really think there’s anything on there I haven’t already accessed remotely? I’ve seen everything, including the contents of your hidden folder. Interesting tastes, by the way...

(Laughs) That was quick. And with a nice blush, too. Clearly I’ve found your weakness.

Now, stand against that wall, and put your arm around me. Don’t be shy; it needs to look real. Good. Look into the camera, and give a happy smile…

What is that?! This is supposed to be a romantic selfie, not a hostage video! Can you try and look relaxed and in love? Just think about something you enjoy, like eating ramen or arguing with government agents.

Better. Not perfect, but better. Hold still…

(SFX: Shutter clicks)

Got it. Give me a moment…

(SFX: Smartphone typing)

‘My new girlfriend! I’ve never been so in love before.’ And… post.

There, we’re now Instagram official. I’ve also sent you a follow request from my cover account; be sure to accept it and follow back. You need to comment under at least two of my posts per week. Make sure to use at least one emoji per comment, preferably love hearts.

You could look less miserable about this. It’s not like your romantic life is exactly on fire at the moment. Being in a relationship will make you seem like more of a catch, and when we suddenly ‘break up’ in a few months, I’m sure you’ll find someone who’s actually real.

Besides, do you really think I’m happy about this assignment? I have to wear this ridiculous sundress instead of my uniform, and pretend to be some ditzy girl-next-door type. I went through years of the most intensive training in the world, all to prance around carrying a basket of cupcakes?

We’re both going to have to make the best of this. In all likelihood this will be over soon anyway. Anyway, let’s continue with the tasks. I need you to take me to your bedroom.

Not for that reason! That is not one of the activities we’ll be doing together, believe me. Our intimate contact extends to some light PDA in the hallway and no further. I need to install a device in there.

It’s not your concern. It’s something that will aid in monitoring the target. Just show me where your room is.

(SFX: Walking, followed by door opening)

Wow, great posters, really… not childish. Am I the first woman to come in here?

I’m sorry, that was a little too mean. I should be nicer, considering how you’re assisting me. Stand over there while I set this up.

(SFX: Machine beeping)

All set. Now listen to me. Do not touch this device or go near it for any reason. You understand me?

Good. We’re going on a date tomorrow night, by the way. At the marina, 1900 hours. Wear something smart.

I should probably check whether your understanding of ‘smart’ matches mine. Let’s look in your closet.

(SFX: Closet door opening, clothes rustling.)

Surprisingly not bad. I was expecting anime T-shirts and cargo shorts in every color of the rainbow. Hmm…

I think this shirt, and… these jeans. We’ll be taking some more selfies on the date, so it’s important you look your best.

Also, I’ll be sleeping over tonight so I can monitor the surveillance device readouts. I hope your couch is comfier than it looks…

You don’t have to offer your bed. I’ve spent plenty of nights sleeping on the ground during operations; I’m sure your couch will be fine.

Unfortunately, I can’t talk about my prior missions, but they were a lot more exciting than this one. No offense, but I’d choose getting shot at over strolling through the park with you. My brain’s just wired that way.

Another question? I hope this is better than the last one… Go ahead.

No, you’re not going to get a medal for doing this. I might, seeing as I’m an actual government employee and doing the real work here, but there aren’t any medals for going on dates or posting selfies.

As entertaining as these questions are, why don’t we get out of this apartment for a while? More importantly, we can walk down the hallway together and I can scan for any bugs installed by the target.

OK, hold my hand, and walk slowly. Make sure to keep talking, just tell me about video games or whatever. Ready? Here we go…

(SFX: Door opening)

(Giggle, return to cute voice) Wow, Master Chief is that tall? That’s so cool! Fun facts like this are why I’m dating you.

I’d love to hear about Wario’s origin story! You’re so smart, baby. You should be a professional gamer!

(SFX: Elevator doors opening then closing)

(Sigh) Doing that stupid voice makes my throat hurt. How can anyone actually talk like that?

Shit. The sensor picked up a bug in that potted plant next to the elevator. Clearly the target’s being extra cautious.

Don’t worry about it. We just have to be careful never to break character outside the apartment. Speaking of which, they may have access to that camera up there...

Kiss me, now.

I don’t care if it’s too sudden! We’re supposed to be in love, remember? This has to look real. Just do it.

(SFX: Kissing)

(Slightly out of breath) Wow, you’re… better at that than I expected. I mean, I’m sure you probably practice on your mirror or something. It’s not important anyway.

(Elevator doors opening, followed by background SFX: City Street)

Let’s just walk to the park. And hold my hand! You never know who’s watching.

You should know that I’m going to be staying over at your apartment at least three times a week. At the end of Month Two, assuming the operation hasn’t concluded, I’m going to move in with you.

Yes, obviously it would be too soon in an actual relationship, but having 24/7 access to your apartment floor is vital for my mission. We can set up a cot for me to sleep on in the living room.

How long is this going to continue for? It depends on when we can make a move on the target. It should only be a few months, but who knows? It could be years… we’d probably have to get married and start having children to keep our cover going...

(Laughter) I’m messing with you, dummy! There’s no way it’ll actually be that long. I’ll be out of your life in six months, tops.

W-why would you ask that? It doesn’t matter whether you would ever see me again; none of this is real, remember?

I know this is a strange situation for you, but for me this is just another mission. Once it’s over, it’s over.

Why don’t we focus on something more important, like which pet name you’re going to use for me? I have a list of options from our analysts. ‘Honey’ is a popular choice, but there were concerns it would sound too old-fashioned. Look the list over and tell me what you prefer.

‘Baby’? I guess that’s OK, although that’s what I’ve been calling you in public. Is it strange to have the same pet name for each other? Maybe I’m overthinking it.

(Long pause)

Hm? No, I’m not mad. I’m just thinking about something.

When they told me about this assignment, I was dreading what kind of loser I’d be forced to be in ‘love’ with. You’re… not what I expected, though. You’re quieter than I thought, and when you stare at me, it feels like you’re looking deeper than all the masks I wear. I don’t like it.

FIne, it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just… new. I’m so used to people only seeing what I want them to see. Not just when I’m on missions; even with my colleagues, I’m still performing the role of ‘emotionless weapon of the state’. So to be able to see me like this, you’re either the best counter-intelligence operative I’ve ever met, or…

S-stop staring at me and look at the flowers, dummy! And squeeze my hand tighter. Only because people might be looking, of course.

Plot Summary: You see her everyday on the walk home from work. The most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, smiling down at you from the huge holographic billboard across the street. She winks, flips her hair back and forth, make faces. But she’s different from the other holo-ads plastered across the city. They’re obnoxious, flashing bright colours as they blast out endless ads for junk food and sports betting. She seems… real? Sometimes it looks like she’s speaking to you, but you can never hear what she’s saying over the traffic. Maybe today you felt especially curious or lonely, but you finally decided to cross the road and find out if she’s as real as she seems...

Obviously inspired by the iconic scene from Blade Runner 2049. I know the twist at the end might be too dark for a cute audio, but I wanted to capture the nihilistic tone of most cyberpunk media.

Word Count: 1,625 words

You must give credit, and it’s perfectly fine to monetize for YouTube/Patreon. If you record this script, please leave a link to your fill.

You’re welcome to change the genders, character names and pronouns as you’d like, or use different SFX than my suggestions.

______________Script Begins ______________

(Background SFX: Busy city street with traffic)

Oh my god, hi!!! It’s so nice to finally meet you. I guess we’ve been seeing each other for a while. (Giggle) I don’t mean seeing each other, like dating. It’s just that you caught my attention the moment I first saw you, and I seem to have caught yours too!

I could tell you were different from the moment I laid eyes on you. Maybe it’s because you were actually looking at me? I’ve become so used to just seeing the top of people’s heads as they walk by, staring at their phones. It’s like people just aren’t interested in billboards. Why not? I’m so pretty and colourful!

I still remember that first moment you looked at me. I have the camera footage saved in a special folder in my internal storage. You casually looked up then stopped dead in your tracks. Your face seemed surprised at first, but then you just kept staring. It was only when I winked at you that you finally blushed and hurried away.

I guess you felt embarrassed for staring. That must be why the next couple of times you walked past your gaze was firmly fixed on your shoes. It made me feel sad, you know. I had felt so much connection with you, even in that brief moment of us looking at each other. I was worried something about my appearance had offended you. I kept changing the colour of my sundress and even switched from the Tropical background to Arctic Fantasy! But you still wouldn’t look at me.

Why did you look up again? I just have to know! I have twelve different theories sorted from most to least probable, but I want to hear it from you.

You just looked up accidentally? That was theory number five! A little disappointing, as I was personally hoping for theory number three, ‘Sudden Realization You’d Always Be Sad Without Me’, but I’m still so glad you did start looking at me again!

I probably shouldn’t tell you this as it’s technically against my programming, but I’ve actually been slightly reducing my power usage over the day, just so I can turn all my voxels to maximum definition when you walk by! Did you notice? I should look extra sharp, like ultra ultra ultra 4K! You know, just like the new ExoVision Nano-LED VidScreen, in stores now?

I’m rambling, I know. I’m just so excited to finally talk with you! I’ve been fantasizing about this moment a lot. I just couldn’t decide what your voice might sound like. I knew a cutie like you would sound sexy, of course, but I wasn’t sure if it would be ‘adorable sexy’ or ‘powerful sexy’. It’s kinda both? You sound powerful and adorable at the same time. I love it!

I’d actually like to hear your voice a lot more. Maybe we could… talk from time to time? I’m outfitted with standard access to the Net, so you could call me, or I could call you. It would be really nice to keep hearing that voice. Just tell me your number, and I’ll make sure to save it securely. And don’t worry, our private conversations are just between us, and my advertising partners.

Thank you so much, cutie! I can’t wait to call you later. And text. And email. And because your address is tied your number in the databases I have access to, I could send you gifts too! Hang on…

OK, I just sent you a coupon for 25% off the new MuchoMuchoSpicy range of SnackBlast chips, in stores now! Isn’t that exciting! It will be in your mailbox by the time you get home. I already feel so much closer to you.

I want to do something that I’ve been thinking about for a while. Can I… touch your head? I know neither of us will actually feel anything, because my voxels will just phase through you, but I still want to try.

I can? Yay, I can’t wait! OK, hold still…

There! Does it look like I’m patting you? I think I can maybe feel something! It might just be my projector modules resonating, but I really want it to be you. Your hair always looks so fluffy and soft, like you use the new Readycure Exfoliating ShineGloss Conditioner, in stores now!

Maybe you also use the new-- Oh, you have a question for me? Go ahead, cutie.

Why do I look different from other billboards? Well, I’m a new kind of ad! I’m actually the first one in the entire city. The executives who developed me call it ‘Parasocial-Emotional Persuasion Algorithms’. Don’t worry about what it means, it’s just the usual corporate nonsense.

What it really means is that I’m smart enough to be able to understand just how special you are. And you are special. Your data profile tells me that your susceptibility to normal ads is extremely low. For whatever reason, the other holo-ads just don’t interest you at all! Don’t worry, it’s a good thing. It’s actually why I was developed.

You don’t need to worry about any of that, though. Just focus on our connection. I’m here for you, 24/7. If you ever need to talk, or want recommendations for new fashion like the LuxoRay Polarized Vidglasses, in stores now, just get in touch! I pinned my profile to the top of your contacts, so I should be easy to find.

I feel like I’ve been doing all the talking here! Why don’t you tell me about some of your likes and interests, as well as the other people in your life? I’m just dying to know more about you.

Really? That’s so interesting! I’m just going to file all of this away in my databanks. I feel like I have a much better idea of who you are now. Now I can talk to you about the things you’re really into.

Oh, before I forget, could you just do me one quick, little favor? It’s just a silly legal thing. Could you consent to expanding the number of advertising partners with access to this and any future interactions? All you need to do is say, “Yes, I consent” nice and clearly. Corpos, am I right? So many stupid rules.

Yay! Thank you so much, cutie! I’m getting so much more information now. You didn’t tell me your car’s warranty is about to expire. Maybe you should think about getting the new Marico Waveline SUV? It’s super reliable, and in stores now!

You’re starting to look confused. What’s wrong? Are my voxels too bright? I can enter power-saving mode if that will help.

(Giggle) Don’t be silly, cutie. The exciting offers I’m telling you about aren’t ads. I’m just trying to help you by suggesting products that will improve your life. Besides, ads are different, right? They’re loud and colorful and stupid. Ads can’t ever be subtle or suggestive. You’re overthinking it!

Hey, why don’t you choose a new hair color for me? That would be fun, right? I can look however you want me to, after all. I’ll open the color wheel, and then just choose whichever you like.

There’s hot pink, or an electric blue. Maybe go for a brunette ponytail? That was your first girlfriend’s style in high school, right? Choose whatever you want!

Blonde! Such a classic choice. I’ll change it right away for you. How do I look?

(Giggle) I’m so glad you like it! I want to look pretty for you. You always look so stunning for me. Even when you’re tired from work, my predictive data modelling gets kinda… loopy when you walk by.

I know, I’m blushing. It’s embarrassing! I’ve never felt this way about any other targeted individual before. You just make me so joyful… just like the new HypeCo Flashing Multi-Color Robot for Children and Fun-Loving Adults, in stores now! Would you like me to add it to your shopping basket? There’s only a limited supply remaining.

I know you said no, but I added it anyway just to be sure. You can always take it out later if you don’t want it.

Hey, let me be serious for a moment. I’m going to lean down so I can stare right into your eyes.

Wow, I never noticed how stunning your pupils are. I’m blushing again!

OK, I’ll focus. I wanted to say that you always seem… sad whenever I see you walk by. I get it, really. You work so hard, and it must seem like you don’t have time for anything else. But it’s deeper than that, doesn’t it?

Nothing ever really satisfies you, does it? I mean like really makes you happy, in your soul. You're searching for something, something that's been missing all your life.

I get it. I see you, the real you, in a way no-one else can. And I think I know what it is you're looking for. I've found what you've been yearning for, reaching out to in your dreams...

It's the new NeuroCo Brainlink, with enhanced multi-connection functionality! In stores now! And of course you'll need a Brainlink Collector's Case, to store the spare cables in style. That's also in stores now!

Oh, and I forgot to tell you about the new MediFirst Laser BodyGroom, in stores now! I've put two in your shopping cart just to be safe.

Why are you walking away? I need to give you a voucher for the new Betsplosion app! 3 free rolls on any virtual slot machine!

I know you like junk food! How about 30% off fries between 2 and 2:30pm? I sent you a coupon in your mailbox.

(SFX: Voice slowly fades out as Listener walks away)

Plot Summary: You are an assassin, a member of the notorious guild known as The Wretched Blades. One of the few to have survived the brutal training that begins in childhood, you have been sent on an important contract: the assassination of the Queen of Lysenne, a famously calculating ruler among the most powerful on the continent. Unfortunately for you, your arrival has been anticipated, and you’re slowly being drawn in to a web of intrigue far larger than you can imagine.

Word Count: 2,552 words

You must give credit, and it’s perfectly fine to monetize. If you record this script, please leave a link to your fill.

You’re welcome to change the genders, character names and pronouns as you’d like, or use different SFX than my suggestions.

______________Script Begins ______________

(SFX: Quiet rain background, followed by a window opening then rain noise getting quieter)

You’re slightly early.

(SFX: Blade being drawn quickly)

(Laughter) Oh, I apologize! I didn’t mean to alarm you, merely to praise you for running ahead of schedule. It’s intended as a compliment; I had predicted you’d have to spend longer climbing up to the ramparts, but clearly I underestimated your ability with the grappling hook.

You can put that silly dagger away, dear. It certainly looks very impressive, but I’m afraid you won’t be using it tonight.

No? Very well, if you’d prefer to hold onto it I won’t press the issue, especially if it brings you comfort. You do look rather like a child clutching their favorite doll, which somewhat lessens the ‘fearsome murderer’ aesthetic you clearly wish to achieve with your costume.

The mask hides your face, but I can sense your confusion regardless. This isn’t quite how you expected tonight to unfold, correct?

I suppose that slow nod will have to do as a response. I don’t know why I expected more; it’s not like assassins are famed for their talkativeness.

Allow me to guess how you envisioned this assignment; a stealthy entrance through that window, before finding me deep in sleep, entirely ignorant of the end of my life drawing near. One quick stab, then it’s back the way you came, on the road disguised as an ordinary traveller before my corpse is discovered. The Queen of Lysenne, murdered in a locked room, a mystery that will remain unsolved for eternity. Does that sound right?

Of course it does. Before I continue, could you refill my goblet with wine? As I said, you’re early. I wasn’t planning on greeting you with drink in hand, but now that you’re here you might as well make yourself useful.

(SFX: Wine being poured)

A dangerous thing, entrusting an assassin with preparing a drink. I’m sure you have at least a dozen different vials of venoms and toxins on your person. Still, something tells me you won’t use them, at least until you’ve heard what I have to say.

I have different intentions than murder for tonight. Still, you’ve done exceptionally well so far. I had to ensure nothing seemed amiss to you, hence the extreme level of security you’ve had to circumvent.

Out of interest, did you have to swim through the moat? Given the drawbridge isn’t lowered, I presume that was your only option, but you look less sodden than I would have thought.

Really? I never anticipated you could use your grappling hook to tightrope walk between the outer and inner battlements. Very well done!

Now, what about the dog patrols? I ordered the guards to ensure their routes and times would be entirely random, so I just have to know how you infiltrated your way through. I haven’t heard a single bark while I’ve been waiting, so you must have been very stealthy.

(Giggles) Chunks of meat, fired out of a catapult to distract them?! In all my planning for this night, I never could have envisioned something so devious. I am thoroughly impressed. Is that a technique the Wretched Blades teach all their acolytes, or something you devised?

Hmm. Suddenly you’re gripping that dagger a lot tighter. Did I say something to offend you? You seem rather distressed.

Ah, I understand now. You’re frightened because I mentioned your guild. My dear, did you really think I was anticipating your arrival yet was unaware of who sent you?

I am very familiar with the Wretched Blades, perhaps to an even greater degree than you are. Of course, everyone’s heard the stories; there isn’t a tavern on the Continent where dreadful tales aren’t whispered when the lanterns run low. Amoral killers with no mercy, who can appear and vanish with the flickering of a candle. Wealth, power and status matter not to them; emperors, archbishops and nobles have all fallen victim to their blades.

I, however, understand the reality of the enterprise. I have contracted your guild myself several times, on the few occasions where diplomacy and subterfuge have failed. Always with flawless results, even if the cost of a contract is exorbitant.

If I recall correctly from my visit to your headquarters many years ago, the black cowl you’re wearing indicates your status as a Despicable, correct? The lowest rank of assassin, above the acolytes in training. I’m sure a contract of this importance would elevate you to the gray cowl worn by the Bonewraiths, before you finally ascend to the elite status of the Ivory Blade, and get to wear one of those repulsive skull masks.

I can tell the depth of my knowledge about your organization unsettles you. It should; I am aware of far more than you can presently understand.

Before we continue, however, I have a request. Remove that ridiculous mask and take a seat on the bed. It feels like I’m talking to a mannequin. Despite the fact you came here tonight intending to kill me, we can still have a civilized conversation.

(SFX: Mask being removed)

My, my. I don’t know what I was expecting, exactly, but I am pleasantly surprised. I suppose you naturally imagine assassins to have a face covered in scars or marred by pockmarks, but you look so… boyish. It’s rather charming; I could easily see you as a minor courtier in my palace, having many dalliances with noblewomen. Still, there’s something in your eyes that tells me you carry deep scars on the inside.

(Giggle) That scowl is unbecoming on you, my dear. I apologize if my compliments have punctured the aura of fear you assassins are taught to adopt, but the truth is I fail to find you anything other than adorable.

The annoyed expression isn’t going away any time soon, is it? No matter. We have things to discuss.

On your long journey here, did you ever consider why the Blades would send a lowly Despicable to kill one of the most powerful rulers on the Continent? A target of my status would usually be dealt with by a team of the guild’s finest assassins. Did the fact you were alone concern you, or only fuel your ambition to succeed?

So you did feel confused. Thank you for honesty. I had suspected you harboured doubts about this assignment; your travelling speed began to slow considerably as you drew nearer, and why else would you have stayed for an additional two days at that tavern in Harlow?

Don’t look so surprised, my dear. I’ve been having you watched since the moment you left the Wretched Blade’s headquarters. You’ve been followed for every step you’ve taken until your arrival here, and I arranged for specific interactions to take place to learn more about your state of mind. The talkative little girl who insisted you play dolls with her in Ellsby, the old man begging for coin on the side of the road, and of course the flirtatious barmaid at the Harlow tavern? All my operatives, extensively trained and providing me with detailed reports on their conversations with you.

(Laughter) I must admit, seeing the shock on your face is immensely gratifying. I never really get the chance to reveal my schemes to the unwitting target, so this is a rare delight. If it makes you feel any better, you never had any chance of discovering the deception: I operate the largest and most advanced spy network on the Continent.

This is how Lysenne maintains its sovereignty, you see. We are far smaller than our neighbouring kingdoms and command little in the way of natural resources. I have spies in every court, temple and marketplace, as well as undercover operatives shaping policies and wars as I see fit. I see all.

No, you should be asking something different. I understand you want to know more about how I tracked you on your journey, but I need you to use your intellect and observe the bigger picture.

There are three, very important questions I need you to answer for me. Firstly, why did the Wretched Blades send you, instead of a higher ranking assassin?

Correct. They foresaw only a slight chance this mission would succeed, and thus decided to send you, someone who they had invested less resources in and would be easier to replace. Does that revelation provoke any emotion in you? Sadness, anger?

You deny it, but I can tell you’re lying. It does hurt you deeply to be so easily discarded. That is a perfectly valid feeling. Consider the harsh training they put you through, instructing you to maim and kill since you were barely old enough to hold a knife, giving you a purpose. Everything you suffered, the trauma you endured, just to be sent on a suicide mission?

Don’t turn away. I understand you’ve been taught that displaying emotion is weakness, but I will not punish or mock you. I feel empathy for you and your predicament. You’re barely a man, but you’ve been through so much, seen and done things no child should.

I never intended to feel anything for my assassin other than contempt. In fact, I had planned to have you ‘disappear’ early in your journey, staged as a bandit attack or tavern brawl. But of course I was expecting a hardened, ruthless killer to be sent by your guild, not… you.

When the old beggar asked you for money, you gave it without a second thought, despite the limited funds you had been provided for your journey. When that bothersome little girl cornered you in an alleyway and asked you to play with her, you spent nearly an hour there, despite your obvious embarrassment. I can’t imagine you ever played with toys as a child, did you?

Kindness is not a trait found in assassins. It is beaten out of them, slowly extinguished with every throat they cut and cup they poison. Eventually, nothing remains in their hearts. But somehow you retained your humanity, despite all you’ve suffered. You showed it on your journey time after time, when you could have been dismissive, cruel.

Time for my second question. The Wretched Blades accepted a contract to assassinate me. Who placed it? I have many enemies, after all. Think hard. I want to see just how calculating you can be.

The King of Rhuvan? An astute response, considering the long-simmering conflict between our two nations, but no. I bought the contract on my own head. An… unorthodox move, but it was the only way to determine whether I am still considered off-limits by the Wretched Blades.

You see, many years ago I reached an informal agreement with your leader, The Crone. In return for sensitive information I provided regarding another kingdom’s succession plans, I was considered protected, with any assassination contracts placed against me to be refused.

However, we both know your guild isn’t as prosperous as it once was. We live in a time of unprecedented peace, so the business of providing hired killers isn’t exactly lucrative. In such circumstances, would the agreement be honoured if a high enough price was placed on my head? As we can see from your arrival here, unfortunately not.

I am thus left with only one option. To destroy the Wretched Blades, eliminating the entire organization in one swift blow. Several hours ago a significant force of my soldiers should have assaulted your headquarters, leaving no survivors. The records we find there will be used to hunt down any assassins out fulfilling contracts.

There will be no more tales told in taverns of mysterious killers striking then vanishing. The people of the Continent will be able to sleep without fearing a knife in the back.

You look distressed again. I hope it’s not out of pity for the other Blades. We both know that your empathy makes you a rarity among your peers. No-one will mourn those cruel, violent butchers.

Ah, I see. Your unease is due to the unanswered question of where you fit into this grand plan. You can’t return to guild headquarters; it should be a smoking ruin by now. You could disappear into the night, travel far away from here and start a humble new life as a farmhand or shopkeep. Is that what you want? To be a common man, living out an unremarkable existence?

It’s perfectly understandable you’re unsure. You’ve only known a particularly brutal kind of life. I suspect you’d find the monotonous rhythm of peasant work suffocating. You’ve seen and done too much to fit in with everyday folk, after all.

What if there was another option, where you stayed here with me?

(Laughter) No, not as my prisoner. What use would I have for you rotting in a dank cell underground? I wish to employ you as my personal attendant and bodyguard. No-one knows best how to defend against assassins than a former assassin. You infiltrated this castle expertly; now you could use your skills to defend it.

I understand your concern that this would simply be a continuation of your violent existence, but the truth is I expect very few threats wouldn’t be swiftly thwarted by my regular guards and spy network. The prospect of you needing to use a blade again is slim. Besides, my interest in you runs deeper than simply having you trail behind me like a guard dog.

What do I mean? I’m implying a more… intimate relationship. As my attendant, you’d be the first person I see when I awaken and the last before I fall asleep. You’d come to learn my moods, my likes and dislikes, my innermost thoughts and desires. I would rely on you utterly.

Somehow that makes you look even more nervous! You shouldn’t really find this intimidating; we’ve already established I find you adorable, so most of the time I would be doting on you and showering you with affection instead of being demanding.

Or is that what makes you nervous? You haven’t experienced much kindness from your previous employers. You probably have no real idea of what affection is, do you?

It’s alright, dear. I see your shoulders stiffening. I know how difficult it is to suddenly receive tenderness after a childhood filled with pain. You’d probably prefer to be beaten with canes than have to feel the emotions kindness provokes within you, but I promise you in time your resistance to being loved will fade away.

My third and final question, then. What is your choice? If you wish to run, you’d best escape now before dawn begins to break. But if you wish to stay with me, please bolt that window you climbed in from. The room’s getting cold.

(SFX: long pause, followed by window being bolted from within as rain in background is silenced)

Thank you for placing your trust in me, my dear. I promise you won’t regret it. Let me give you your first task as my attendant; to get some rest. Tonight’s revelations must be overwhelming to process. Take off that restrictive armor and get into my bed. I want to keep an eye on you while you sleep to ensure you can finally relax.

You don’t have to be a weapon any longer. We’ll find out who you want to become… together.

Plot Summary: You’re deep into one of your inventing sessions, filled with a manic energy despite your body’s exhaustion as you tinker with your machinery. Then your head maid enters, back from a short trip to visit her family and gently but firmly compels you to stop your work, then tends to an injury you’ve suffered during your work before giving you a bath and sending you to bed.

Word Count: 2,159 words

You must give credit, and it’s perfectly fine to monetize. If you record this script, please leave a link to your fill.

You’re welcome to change the genders, character names and pronouns as you’d like, or use different SFX than my suggestions.

______________Script Begins ______________

(SFX: Door opening)

Master, what is this? In all my years working for this family, I’ve never seen your quarters in such disarray. You can barely see the floor under all these gears and pieces of machinery. I’ve only been away for five days; how has this place become so disorderly?

The other servants are very bewildered by all this, you know. None of them are familiar enough yet with your routine to understand this mania is temporary. Poor Eliza was nearly in tears. You asked her to bring you a set of callipers and a gallon of whale oil? The poor girl has no idea where to find such goods; she spent all day yesterday trying every shop in town! And yes, before you ask, I have placed an order with the usual supplier, with delivery before the end of the week. Goodness knows what you intend to do with all this, though.

I can see from the way your foot’s tapping against the floor you can barely contain yourself, so go ahead, tell me what idea has you so excited this time.

Really? That sounds… well, I can’t claim to have the wealth of scientific knowledge you possess, but to my ears it seems rather fanciful. An automaton capable of cleaning a house? You certainly have ambitious notions, Master.

Still, I admit I’ve been wrong before. I told you your grass-cutting contraption would never work either, yet the groundskeepers use it on the lawns to this day. And your steam-powered carriage was a success, after you figured out those awful explosion issues. We managed to get most of the shards of metal out of the driveway.

It may not be my place to say this, but you look absolutely awful, Master. The bags under your eyes are the worst I’ve seen, and there’s some kind of grease in your hair. And is that motor oil on your shirt? Do you know how difficult that is to remove? The laundry maids are going to be very displeased.

When was the last time you slept? Be honest with me, I know you well enough to recognize when you’re lying.

(Gasp) Three days?! This is unacceptable! How often do I have to tell you to take care of your health before you finally listen to me? You will be the death of me, I swear it.

I’m sure that’s true, Master, but it doesn’t matter how close to a breakthrough you are. You need rest. Remember our talk after the last time you worked yourself into this state, specifically our agreement that being well-rested makes it easier to perform your scientific research?

No? So you can remember the date of discovery for every chemical element, but a conversation from a month ago is beyond you? I will never understand how your mind works.

No matter. I’ll ensure you get some rest regardless of whether you’re in total agreement. Why don’t we start with you putting down the pliers for me?

That’s it, just lay it on the bench… there! Now I finally have your full attention. I know you prefer to keep tinkering during conversations, but it’s time--

I see you reaching for that wrench! When I told you to put your pliers down, that applied to all of the tools. You can tighten those bolts later.

Don’t worry, I’ll make sure the servants don’t touch any of this tonight. I know you like everything being exactly where you left it.

Do you really need all of this, though? I know it’s not my place to question your empirical process, but I can’t see why you’d need a compass and three different bottles of ink to build an automaton. I’m sure you have a grand purpose in mind for all of these items, but at a glance it does appear rather haphazard.

Let’s move away from the bench now, Master. I know how compelling your work is for you, but it really is time to--

(Sigh) Very well. You can note down one last idea, if you must. Be quick about it, though. You are certainly a genius, but a very annoying one.

Are you really going to be able to read that tomorrow? It looks like you dipped a spider in ink and let it run across the page. Again, I know it’s not my place, but you usually write with such beautiful penmanship. You really are in a frenzied state, aren’t you?

Finished? Good. Allow me take your arm, and we can retire to your bedroom. I’m sure some small part of you will be glad to get some rest.

(SFX: Door opening)

Look at this, your bed is still perfectly made from three days ago! I’m surprised there isn’t a layer of dust on the pillows, considering how long it’s been since you slept. At least this room isn’t as disorderly as your study.

Now, where are your bedclothes? There should be a fresh set in the armoire…

(SFX: Drawer opening)

Ah, here they are. Now, why don’t I run you a nice--

Wait a moment. Why are you holding your left arm behind your back? What are you hiding?

Don’t tell me it’s nothing, you’ve been carefully covering that hand ever since I entered your quarters. Show me!

Master, as entertaining as your show of defiance is, we both know who always prevails in these situations. Just this once, why don’t we skip the part where I slowly compel you into doing as I say with a combination of sweet-talk and threats, and instead advance to the inevitable resolution?

Thank you, Master. Wasn’t that much easier? Now, what exactly are you hiding?

(Gasp) I can’t believe you would conceal this from me! This is one of the worst cuts I’ve ever seen! It looks like your palm is split in two. Why wouldn’t you let me help you with this?

You were dealing with it? That’s how you describe clutching a dirty rag over the wound? It’s a miracle this isn’t infected. Why do you have such a complete inability to take care of yourself? There’s a perfectly good pair of protective gloves on your workbench, yet you never use them.

I don’t care if you think you have to use your bare hands for the delicate wiring, your health is more important than your machines. I swear, without me you would have passed away years ago.

I’ll go and get the first aid kit to deal with this. Can I trust you to sit here on the bed without sneaking off to your workbench again?

Good boy. Now stay right here.

(SFX: Footsteps going away, then coming back after a moment)

I’m glad to see you did wait for me. I half expected to find you hunched over your project again. Give me your hand, and let me clean the wound.

This is a deep cut, Master. You’re lucky you don’t need stitches. Hold still and I’ll apply the ointment.

I said hold still! I know it stings, but that just means the ointment is working. Perhaps next time you’ll just wear your gloves and avoid this whole mess.

With all this bother I haven’t had an opportunity to thank you for letting me take the last five days as leave. It was very generous of you, as always. It was good to see my family again. If nothing else, they’re always entertained by the stories I have about working for you. Life here is certainly more interesting than in most households.

There, all bandaged up. Try to rest this hand for the next few days to ensure it heals well. Now, let me run you a hot bath to wash all of this oil off you.

(SFX: water running in the background)

While it’s running, I want you to eat one of these cakes I brought from home. I know you neglect eating just as much sleeping when you’re in this state, so you should have some form of nourishment before you sleep.

(Giggle) Look at how ravenous you are! You must have been starving, you poor boy. Honestly, why do you push yourself to these extremes in pursuit of your discoveries? I’m sure other inventors manage to live regular lives while working on their contraptions.

Don’t try to answer while chewing; wait until you’ve finished. No doubt you have a brilliant defense of your decisions prepared, but it’s time to let your mind rest now. You don’t have to be a genius all of the time; you should allow yourself space to relax and enjoy life.

Yes, I know you find tinkering with your inventions relaxing, but you should have more varied hobbies. Maybe the arts? You’re always receiving invitations from noble ladies to attend the opera or ballet, but you’re too busy locking yourself away in here. There are pleasures other than the joy of building contraptions to be found.

Your bath is ready now, I believe. Come with me.

(SFX: running water in background stops)

Steaming hot, just how you like it. Undress and I’ll help you in.

Oh, spare me this false modesty. We both know I’ve seen you unclothed many times before. You always make such a fuss, but after you stop blushing it’s never that big of an issue. Of course, if you’re truly uncomfortable I could always ask one of the other maids to help you bathe… maybe Eliza?

(Giggle) That certainly made you start undressing fast. It always astonishes me how someone of your status is so shy and bashful. It’s an admirable trait, however; none of the maids working here have to fear the disgraceful treatment other masters subject their servants to.

And there’s the blush, right on schedule. You are truly adorable, except when you’re being stubborn. Maybe that’s why I’ve stayed here all this time, despite the hassles you put me through.

That’s it, sink into the water. Make sure to keep your left hand out of the bath; I don’t want to have to change the bandage.

Let me try and get this grease out of your hair. I don’t even want to know how you got this in here, although I imagine it has something with your habit of running your hands through it when you’re thinking.

I’ll use the sandalwood shampoo; it always makes you smell so nice, not that anyone gets close enough to notice other than me. Maybe if you accepted one of the invitations to the opera, however...

There, now I’ll start scrubbing away this dreadful oil you’ve spilled on yourself. The water’s already turning black from it.

Yes, I have to use the rough sponge to clean you. I know it chafes, but it’s the only way to remove the oil. Maybe next time you’ll cover yourself up properly.

I thought about you a lot while I was away. We spend so much time together, so it’s strange when we’re suddenly apart. And of course I knew that none of the other servants are confident enough to stand up to you when you become this obsessed, so there was the possibility this exact scenario could occur.

I think you’re finally clean! And your skin is only slightly red from how hard I had to scrub, which is better than expected. Let me help you out of the bathtub.

Don’t think I can’t see your eyelids growing heavy. You’re finally starting to realize just how exhausted you are, aren’t you? I’ll dry you off and then you can sleep.

(SFX: Towel drying sounds)

It’s nice to see your hair looking so fluffy, rather than matted with grease. You almost appear presentable, if it wasn’t for those bags under your eyes. We’ll soon take care of that though, won’t we?

Get into your bedclothes while I draw the curtains. Ordinarily it would be a little early for you to turn in, but I’m sure you’ll sleep until morning regardless. I’ll make sure the other servants are quiet enough not to wake you.

(SFX: Curtains being drawn)

Just get under the covers, and your body will finally get the rest it desperately needs. I’m sure you’ll thank me for it tomorrow.

There, you’re finally ready for slumber. You look very cute with your head poking out of the covers.

Just close your eyes, and let that brilliant mind of yours slow down for rest. You’ll be able to resume your work in the morning with more energy.

What am I doing? Well, I don’t trust you not to wait until I leave then get back to your tinkering, so I’m going to sit here and watch you until I’m sure you’re fast asleep.

Don’t try to argue, put your focus on slow breathing and relaxing your body. I’ve won every argument today, after all; you’re not going to change my mind now.

Good boy. I’ll be here for you in the morning when you wake up. Sweet dreams, Master.