Seeking advice in numerous areas
Long post with several questions! I want to ask some things that I don't see brought up in chats of US vs UK....I think it's important to be talking to people with similar values because we all measure priorities differently, and so I do want to state I'm Christian (but I'm no trump conservative), 30, immunocompromised with a rare disease, work in tech but with all the layoffs looking to be more entrepreneurial, was heavily involved in school and sports growing up and want similar opportunity for kids someday, and ask that you please don't comment without stating which of these you align on too. I also am currently dating someone here but not fully committed to living here yet and comparing the two countries is a regular conversation for us.
First, and a big bother for me, is NHS. I've seen first hand with my partner but also with direct friends through military connections (I am not in military), that it's not actually that great. I've now not only seen someone wait over a year to be in their system before getting put in touch with someone for therapy/counseling, but two people commit suicide waiting for NHS to give them someone to talk to. You say how great it is to have "free healthcare," but then have to wait months for a lot of it and especially after seeing someone else's post on a first pregnancy and how you're treated here...I don't see how it's actually worth it. I've had two friends, when it came to their pregnancies, give up on NHS entirely and go private because of how poorly NHS operated and did not provide. I've also witnessed first hand seeing NHS completely disregard a physical ailment of my partner and refuse to cover it being treated because it wasn't debilitating their daily life, that required them to get private help instead. I'm scared to deal with my disease here given everything I've seen so far, with likely subpar expertise in respective fields (though arguably much kinder staff). So..... Between months of waiting until it's even too late, to direct neglect, how is NHS really better if you're having to 60-80% of the time seek private anyway? It does not in the end seem much cheaper, though I admittedly don't have the costs to compare apples to apples on private vs US.
Second, community. Both in general and in Christian circles. I'm from Texas but have lived in NC, Seattle, and OH too. I don't feel UK people tend to appreciate community that much... And it leaves me very discouraged. There isn't much in terms of gatherings outside of London proper (and all of those are pay to attend), and people seem to prefer to be left to their own devices. It feels in many ways like Seattle, which was a very very difficult environment to also break into. It feels very lonely here, and even with loads of seeking, I don't feel there is much opportunity to be involved. Add in Christian community, and I feel that is a very struggling space in the UK. I never had this much issue, even *with* cities like Seattle. It just feels like there is a generally large rejection of it and lack of support for faith if not completely community donation driven. I don't see that mentioned and want to know if people have had better luck than what I've encountered so far.
Lastly is...education and extra curriculars. I get that the US right now isn't doing too hot in this space, and there is a lot of concern to be had here. But I want safety discussion out of this and purely opportunity. I played more than one sport all of my academic life, did not pay thousands to be part of club sports, was valedictorian, played two instruments in one of the top ensembles and marching bands respectively in the nation, and got a full ride to a top university coming from middle class poverty. My partner has a kid who is a teenager. I see her as relatively ahead of where I would have been in math, but otherwise DRASTICALLY behind in all other realms. As a teenager learning Spanish for several years now, she can barely produce a sentence and pronounces half the words wrong, has hardly read much material in literature, had multiple years of "music education" but can't read a staff, and has no social skills and no extracurriculars. A friend has his family out here and I see a hard push to be trying to have them put in soccer/football, but nothing tied to school and heavily helped by their neighbor working as a coach. His kids are younger and I don't know about their schooling, but it doesn't seem encouraging. Yes, you can go to a university in the UK, but it is much harder to get into one in the US and have little chance of scholarships without being in the US. Their education exams don't seem to measure as many things, nor the same things as needed in US universities, and there honestly seems to be an early built in caste system that determines your kid's skill early on and then tunnels them in for the rest of their education. If they don't see your potential academically, you get knocked out of even consideration for university in the UK. Whereas, if you finish school in the US, and do well, you can get opportunities for many more scholarships and STILL have chance for free universities (or much cheaper) abroad like in the UK. However, I don't see many well rounded students in the UK coming out knowing instruments, or anything musically, and no athletic inclination. I know there are varied experiences, but having moved three times just in high school alone in the US, and 8 times prior to that, all schools I went to valued these types of extracurriculars. And before you ask, not a single one was private. Is there a lot to help promote the arts and extra curriculars in the UK? Is there actually a huge divide in this between the US and UK? I want to raise athletes and musicians and honestly don't feel like that's an option in the UK, even if soccer programs at some point do seem to excel in UK over the US.
Please please no unnecessary comments if you don't relate. I get a lot of people complain about US school here, but I moved around my entire life across 4 states and can say that I had pretty consistent public school education above what I see in the UK. (And none saying evolution isn't real either) However I also know a lot has changed recently and education is taking negative turns post COVID... But many of my friends do have kids in both countries now, though mostly below the age of 6, and so I'm trying to understand if maybe even switching countries at a certain age, and when, might be most advantageous for future opportunities in both later education as well as overall development.