u/flavidad

Hi all. I was born and raised a Baha’i. At 15 I really wasn’t sure about much in life. At 20 years old I truly felt I found the Baha’i Faith the way a seeker would. Everything I had learned up until that moment hit me but due to the preceding 5 years of not being so active, I had built certain friendships and habits that aren’t reflective of a “perfect” Baha’i. As such, I’ve had this profound love and respect for my faith while still battling earthly habits.

At 27 I met what became my best friend and eventually a few years later my girlfriend. When we first met, she knew the not so Baha’i but also sort of very Baha’i side to me, and I met the what was at the time the atheist version of her.

When she told me she’s atheist, naturally as a Baha’i I would have talks with her as to why I believe God is real. The entire relationship was built upon this foundation and being able to have these elevated conversations which I love. As a result, in the time we’ve been together we’ve both gotten closer to our respective religions without eachother. Maybe our elevated conversations contributed but she attributes it to her prayers being answered in a very straight forward fashion. Because of this she went from atheist to full blown Catholic and going to church every Sunday, and taking part in all things Catholic. As a Baha’i I’m truly very happy for her newfound love for God and her faith.

The problem we’re currently encountering is that because of her newfound faith, she now feels my Baha’i belief comes from a false prophet. So any interpretations we have on Christian beliefs completely backfire every time no matter how much I try to focus on the things we have in common. Even when I share things from her own scripture it completely backfires on me. Even things that I couldn’t even imagine would backfire, do. She feels our core beliefs or interpretations don’t lineup when it comes to Jesus, the resurrection, and whether or not he is God incarnate. As well as other topics like the holy trinity, clergy, and holy communion/the Eucharist.

As a result we’ve gotten to a stage in the relationship where time wise we should’ve been married like a year ago. But more importantly, God wise, we’re unable to agree on. She’s told me she’s completely fine with me raising kids Baha’i and her raising the kids Catholic but that she would not assist me in my endeavors of exposing kids to the Baha’i faith or even my own journey with trying to get closer or more active to the Baha’i faith because she doesn’t believe in it. Which in some ways I can see as being fair but in other ways, and the way that’s most concerning to me, is the union of marriage that both our faiths teach where God is to be at the center and we both get closer to God through each other. Having this current dynamic terrifies me and makes me feel like it’s a deal breaker.

I’ve expressed to her that I’d like our union of marriage to be one where we focus on the common things our respective religions have with each other and use that as a path to help each other work closer to God and one another. She’s even shut this down and has told me that since she doesn’t believe in Baha’u’llah she isn’t going to try to push me to be more Baha’i because her path to God is through Jesus so she’s willing to support me getting closer to God with her through Jesus.

Literally every single other box is checked for me minus this one and it is becoming an increasingly more important box for the both of us. So if we’re talking a 50 year marriage before we go to the next world, I’m not sure how much more things will change throughout our lifetimes.

Any guidance on my experience would truly help me. I’ve prayed a lot and have been dealing with these thoughts for a couple years now as it’s gotten progressively worse. Thank you all.