My boyfriend spends more time on his game than with me.
My boyfriend, M18 and I, F18 have had this ongoing issue for a long, long while now. I've spoken to him about it a ridiculous amount of times over the course of about a year now.
I've told him he doesn't balance me with his playing time, and that I feel ignored almost all of the time and that he'd rather play his games than spend time with me or even talk to me. I understand it's his hobby and he's been playing games for years and years and has recently upgraded his setup. He's extremely passionate about his games but it's gotten to a point that he's just genuinely addicted and ignores everything else in his life when he plays.
Before, he wouldnt play his games when I'd be staying at his house because we would spend time together but as we've gotten older I'd stay at his house much longer than just a day or two, so we came to a compromise that he would play while I'm staying at his house but only until an agreed time while I'd just be on my phone or watching his tv. But recently he has been abusing this compromise and playing for long extra hours instead of getting off to come spend time with me. I told him I don't see a point in me coming over when I'm always just stuck on my phone or watching tv when I can just do that at home, because seriously what the fuck?
He works 5 days of the week and when he comes home he will wind down with the game, all the while not texting me or giving me a call at all. I have to basically beg him to just talk to me before disappearing on his game for 6+ hours on end, all while being completely unreachable. He gets aggressive when he plays his games too, so I'm scared to even try and speak to him while he's playing or even call him because he just blows up and causes a heart aching argument.
Every time we're having a good time together, he'll hop straight on the game and say he's playing until late while I'm in his bed doing fuck all. Weekends are the only times we get to see each other, and he doesn't bother to care that I simply want time with him instead of being bored out of my brains on his bed waiting hours and hours for him to come into bed. And then when he does, he's tired and he almost immediately goes to sleep so we get absolutely no time together throughout the day or night at this point.
My mother has been diagnosed with a serious illness and she's currently in hospital. Me and my boyfriend sorted out plans for me to spend the weekend at his as I'm distraught over my mother. Then all of a sudden Wednesday evening he tells me he's not bothered to see me anymore because he just wants to play with the lads because he's so tired and exhausted from work. He proceeds to tell me he doesn't care that I just want him to be there for me and calls me annoying, starts shouting and being aggressive etc.
I mean seriously what can I even do anymore? That broke my heart more than I can put into words. Years of a relationship, but when it comes down to being there for me at a time like this he's "too tired and exhausted from work". I cried on the phone to him and all that did was piss him off more. He tells me he's unhappy with me and he doesn't fucking care anymore and he wants a break. This is what I mean by him getting aggressive and mean when he's playing the game. He even said all of this with his brother in the room. He called me crazy and told me to get over myself.
At first it was just me waiting on him to call me when he's finished his game and him never showing up, him lying about not playing when he really was, choosing to play instead of spending time with me after a while of not seeing each other etc. But now it's gone too far. I don't understand how he can put a computer over a person who just needs him there for her. I've tried everything and nothing works. All he cares about is the game at this point and all I feel is alone and a burden for asking to talk to him.
Does anyone know what I can do about this? As I said I understand it's his hobby but it's gotten to a point that I can't take it anymore. Please help me out.
TLDR; My boyfriend constantly chooses his computer games over me to the point he didn't care enough to be there for me while my mother is in the hospital and I don't know what I can do anymore to just get him to understand him and his games have become ridiculous.