i can’t function and i can’t cope. existing is killing me and i don’t know what to do.
there has never been a day in my life where i’ve felt even remotely comfortable in my skin. as early as i remember i’ve been deeply insecure about my body and appearance. it’s only gotten worse and i feel like i cant breathe. i cant stand my body, feeling like a fat ugly loser. i work in a college town and see so many girls my age who are so thin and pretty and i feel so deeply insecure. i’m constantly comparing myself and feeling like garbage. it completely ruins my day. i walk this earth feeling like a pathetic excuse of a human. it’s ruining my relationship, the constant need of validation. he doesn’t understand the pain that eats me alive. the way it claws its way though my skin and the deep urge to hurt myself. i fight so hard everyday not to harm myself again and it’s so hard. i just can’t live like this and i don’t know what to do. what do i do? something other than “just go to therapy” because if i had the funds i would but im flat broke. not that in the years of therapy i did that it ever helped. i just don’t know what to do anymore.