u/fml4448

Me and my ex have 3 kids together and after a dv situation; she took the kids and moved closer to her mother. A little after arriving over there her mother began texting me of different issues involving my ex and the kids. Things like being unable to pay rent, not using her food stamps for groceries, house being a mess, kids being seen unsupervised in the hall (it's an apartment complex), attendance issues with our oldest who's in pre-k. Im currently unable to speak to my ex due to the conditions for my release but im still seeing my kids on the weekends and making the drive up to pick them up and drop them off since my ex has no license or car. Once I started hearing about all the things she was doing I found a lawyer and am currently in the process of seeking primary custody and already have a court date but im waiting for her to be served. I had originally talked to my ex's mother about taking them for the summer while her daughter tried to figure out her situation since she's also stated the kids are mainly with her most nights as my ex said she works nights. Soon after moving she got herself a new boyfriend and also ended up pregnant and right after aborting it and has been posting all over social media of her just partying most weekends. Now my ex is pretty adamant on the kids staying with her over the summer according to her mom. Now coming up on 3 months since this whole thing started im not too sure on what to do. Her mother has stated to me she'd be willing to help with getting custody but im not too sure if she's being truthful or just trying to make me slip up. Our oldest is specials needs and she needs alot of attention. Just hearing everything going on over there is putting me off and upsetting me to where I just want to bring them here where I know they're being cared for but my court for custody isnt for another month. And even then it isnt a sure thing a judge would rule in my favor based on the dv situation, even with all the things that her mother has told me as well as her past of drinking and smoking. It seems every week my ex is lying to someone or changing her story. What should I do now that I won't have them for the summer like it was originally planned? Do I just wait until court? Do I just sit and hope that she still let's me see the kids on weekend after she gets served?

Edit: the dv happened while we were still together (about 3 months ago) and I didnt really elaborate as I do plan on taking the plea offer that was offered by the state over taking it to trial which was recommended by both my custody attorney to keep things moving on that front as well as my actual lawyer for that case itself. Also to add a little more context, me and her have been living together since the birth of our oldest (a little over 4 years) and we have 3 kids together and no other children with other people. Most of the issues like the drinking and smoking and partying until 7am have been an ongoing thing for a while. She worked the nightshift here and I worked during the day so our schedules with our kids sort of worked with her watching them during the day and I watched them after work and "put them to bed" (the kids were originally going off of her schedule and napping when they should've been asleep and waking up when she got home then sleeping when she fell asleep during the day). The relationship had pretty much been over and we were very much just very resentful to each other (me to her for her spending problems and the cheating; her to me for the constant arguments) and staying together "for the kids"(yes I know that a situation like that can end up being very bad for the kids).