u/forte6320

Ankle is healing well, except I still have a good bit of pain and swelling. He prescribed a round of steroids to help with swelling. Ugh. They turn me into a lunatic.

We were kind of wrapping up, when he dropped a little bombshell. He might want to remove some of the hardware. What??? It is a lot of metal and my does not do well with metal inside. (Had a major knee surgery. Had to get the hardware removed after a year)

I was not mentally prepared to hear that another surgery was even a possibility! I am trying to not panic, but...no thank you. He said 6 months post op would be an ideal time to do it.

Has anyone's surgeon mentioned removing the hardware?

A few weeks ago, I posted that a close family member invited my husband, but not me to her wedding. Due to disability, I have had a hard time attending some family events. I maintain that she should have put my name on the envelope, even if she didn't think I would go.

Husband's initial reaction was not as outraged as mine. My initial reaction was a lot and his was a little. After talking a lot, we both leveled out to a middle ground.

It was weird. No beef with the bride. Not a small wedding where numbers were an issue. Money is definitely not the problem.

We did not want to start a big family thing for a wedding i was unlikely to attend anyway. But it still hurt to not be included after I had been quite generous with this girl over the years.

We debated if husband should go. Weddings and funerals are family reunions for them. People live all over the globe, some are very, very elderly. Just not possible to visit everyone singularly, so weddings are great opportunity to see everyone. No other weddings on the horizon. I don't want to tell him he can't see his family. He has lost almost all of his immediate family.

We let it go for a bit. Then he reached out to the bride "I am confused. Wife isn't invited? You want me to come alone?" Bride stammered. Then she admitted that she didn't think I could physically handle the wedding and she wanted husband to enjoy being with the family without having to focus on me. "That's what she said about N's wedding." Well, yeah, N's wedding was in the woods and wheelchairs don't function well in the woods. The flights were long, then a long car ride. It was a marathon, not a wedding. N totally understood. (Turns out his bride was a narcissist and they divorced a year later. Their wedding was bonkers)

Husband explained all of that and said the decision whether or not I can handle an event should be my decision. It is dismissive to make that decision for me. He said that leaving me off the invitation was unnecessarily hurtful, and he declined the invitation.

Well, word spread like wildfire that hisband was not going. Apparently, bride was reluctant to admit the full story. She tried to play it off like he had to stay with me. MOB called out of concern for my health. "I heard OP isn't doing well. What happened?" Husband tried to dance around it, but the wedding isn't for many weeks. A health crisis for me is not likely to last that long. Husband finally had to tell the truth. MoB was livid. "She knows better than that!" Our phones blew up for a few days.

MOB wanted to know what she could do to get us there. 1st class tickets with a car waiting at the airport? Upgrade the hotel? Stay at someone's home? Anything!

We told we would think on it a bit more. I will think about my health and the travel involved and we will discuss husband going solo. I really want him to have time with his family. I am glad he stuck up for me. I am glad other family members stuck up for me, too.

I have no doubt the wedding will be beautiful and everyone there will have a great time.