u/frailmagic

Unlike most of ya’ll I haven’t been job searching very long and I applied to a retail role on LinkedIn a little while back.

I got rlly lucky cos it was the first job I’d applied for and they wanted to interview me on the phone and I passed that, then came the in-person interview this morning which was… not ideal.

It was my fault I wasn’t prepared enough and I knew I wouldn’t get the job after that. Received the rejection email not but an hour afterwards.

Maybe it’s cos it’s my first one but I can’t stop thinking of what a damned idiot I looked in front of the interviewers and it’s getting to me.

TL;DR : how do I stop thinking about an interview I messed up?

How do you deal with childhood pictures of youself? Today I just looked through some old SD cards of mine and which contained childhood pictures of me and I feel like actually kind of sick and disturbed. I don't know but I kind of feel like I need to counteract it by dressing like a girl but I can't really do that in my predicament.

I don't really understand what this means, but like... it's my hair! They made me have short hair all my childhood and adolescent years. Even when attempting to style it differently or grow it out I was forced to get the same crappy standard haircut from my mom. Who I'm sure thought she was doing the right thing.

But even so, I feel like if I'd just been allowed to have hair even a bit longer or androgynous even, I might be able to handle looking at them.

I've waffled again sorry. Basically what do I do? Because sure I can just not look at them but I'm always going to remember that I'm male and was raised as one and I hate it.

I've been questioning for a little while now (surprise surprise my post history) which is confusing me even more because shouldn't I have always felt this sort of discomfort with looking like that as a child?