Loneliest relationship ever
Long-time lurker and first time poster.
Started dating a beautiful lady in April - we really hit it off on our first date, decided to keep seeing each other, and made things exclusive in May. It was so wonderful; we share many hobbies and interests, she’s brilliant, beautiful, so driven, we have very compatible senses of humor, and amazing chemistry.
As it turns out, I accidentally got her pregnant not long after we started dating - and I do mean accidentally, like the ultimate freak accident. Broken condom, failed plan B, and a false negative pregnancy test. So she decides to get an abortion, and I fully devoted myself to supporting her through it. Made myself available on demand to her, helped take care of her and her apartment, did all the grocery shopping and cooking, etc. For weeks taking care of her was practically my whole life.
She recovered from the process in early June, and since then, she’s done a complete 180. She barely talks to me. Barely asks me questions about myself or my day. The few recent times we’ve hung out, she’s either had other plans that interfered, has slept through it, or has been cold, distant, and frankly mean. We haven’t had sex, been on a proper date, or even had a full conversation for this entire time.
The past month has felt so lonely. She’s owned up to being “off-putting” and apologized for it, but since then, it’s only gotten worse. I’m at the point that I’m mirroring her low-effort behavior and the relationship feels totally moribund. It’s so challenging. Feels like I’m in limbo waiting for the breakup or the point at which I’ll have no choice but to initiate it myself. I understand that she’s busy, that she has stuff outside the relationship, and that she’s recovering from the whole ordeal; and I’ve tried to be supportive… but I feel totally invisible to her. I don’t want to make it about myself but I feel totally shut out.
It’s donut Sunday at my job, and my boss brought me a donut. Enjoying it with an iced americano and some weird chips my coworker brought back from Taiwan. Surprisingly they aren’t that bad.