Feeling crazy, am I the crazy one?
My MIL was cold to me from the beginning. When my husband and I first started dating I brought over a Christmas gift. This was the first time I was meeting her in person. I handed it to her and said merry Christmas! She just looked at it, set it on the counter and didn’t say a word to me. I wish that I could see the red flags then, but I was so young. She has made snarky comments to me usually when my husband is away, and she can be very passive aggressive. She will just lash out at me out of nowhere and it doesn’t make any sense. It has made me feel like I can’t be myself and on the edge around here constantly. She has a lot of narcissistic traits as well, and honestly, it’s always about her. She has this way of being covertly aggressive towards me so it’s really hard to point out to my husband. She is also very hot and cold, one day choosing to be kind to me, the next it feels like she hates me-and that energy is insanely strong. My husband is so used to being around it that he didn’t pick up on it and for many years, would stand there as she was treating me poorly. She also gaslights me in a very aggressive way, and he stood there and watched it happen as well. Both my husband and my father-in-law don’t say a word. SIL protects MIL and treats me the same, if not more covertly. After doing some therapy and couples counseling, my husband has started to see her ways and we decided next time we see her we will set some boundaries. I have gone low contact for the moment and will possibly go no contact. My husband is really enmeshed in his family and it’s hard for me to believe that he will actually stand up for me. All of this is making me feel like the bad guy, and often like I am overreacting. I can see it hurts my husband, because he feels like his family is the best thing ever. I’m starting to feel like if I can’t get support from my husband, I might need to leave this marriage, which is causing me a lot of stress and anxiety in my life. Just needed to vent and also would love any advice, thank you!