Left my room, got punched. I love life
Had a suicide attempt recently, got myself into a hospital.
Recently tried to do at least something. My parents are poor and couldn't help for my therapy longer than some time. Crashed out. On me "it's been 2 months already! And you're not getting better! Your father works and you sit in your room doing this". Great, my only shot at a life is gone.
Startee walking, from zero jumped into walking 10-15km at once. I know I'm not doing this ideally, but I can't. Fasted for 17 days eating nothing now doing very little calories.
Today a high-schooler punched me in the face. First they ran up to me and touched my head twice. Then I, despite me being really socially anxious, told him to go fuck himself. Shouldn't have done it, my subconscious was right to tell me to keep my head down. I think that when he punched me. Although I can't remember the exact moment. Now I have a bump on my chin. Great. I was so scared.
Also just walking makes me hate life. All those people. Blessed with confidence, no mental illness, good looks, money. I don't even have parents that love me. Only chance at life they diceded was too costly. And I guess that's right, don't have enough money. But at least should have given me a childhood without domestic violence. At least give me love. Nobody loves me.
For now my goals are to continue walking, continue losing weight, work on my push ups.