Looking for any and all insights from the community. My partner and I are in our 40s and our son is going into grade 4. Partner is transferring with his job. How are the schools? What communities are family friendly? What do we need to know? Planning to buy a 4 bdrm detached. Excited about proximity to the outdoors and a slower pace in general. Thanks!
My (44F) partner (50M) has a number of health issues. He has diagnosed sleep apnea, heart issues (due in part to untreated sleep apnea) and anxiety/depression. We have been together 11 years and have a 9M.
Over the years, I have done my best to help support him to get better at taking care of himself, but he has been getting progressively worse. He has a sleep machine for his apnea that he never uses. He eats poorly (fast food, junk, no water) all the time. He has no social relationships with either friends or family. He genuinely seems to have no happiness in his life. He isn't willing to see a therapist or make other lifestyle changes. I have been kind, I have been supportive, I have been angry, and I have been sad. I know at this point, I can't change him, but I do still expect him to co-parent our son with me.
The past week and a half he has been on vacation from work. I am a student, doing a placement from home during typical business hours. Our son is home with us this summer. I'm able to make him food and check on him while I'm doing my placement, but I had expectations that my partner would want to engage with him over these weeks too. I'm not talking anything huge, but being awake and present matters. Instead, he sleeps upwards of 15 hours a day. I literally have to wake him up at noon to ask if he is going to bother engaging with our child while I'm busy. He gets mad at me for this.
AITA for waking him up to parent...? Earlier in our relationship, I used to let him sleep, but I realized it was never enough. Obviously, he doesn't get proper rest because he doesn't sleep well, but he also has a tool at his disposal to help with that. Not to mention generous benefits that cover therapy. The way I look at it, he is choosing to be like this. I already to the majority of the parenting, and I don't think I'm being unreasonable asking him to be present while I'm working.