Reframing men’s relationship to women
I feel many men, including those who may genuinely consider themselves to be anti-patriarchy, tend to have a strong disdain or resistance towards the Gynarchy movement, and/or some of the women within it, often to an almost theatrical degree.
As a man myself, while some topics or discussions can be a bit challenging or uncomfortable at times, I personally rather find the Gynarchy movement to be an incredibly loving movement at its core. Suffice to say, I find a lot of the resistance towards it to feel quite jarring.
I think part of this, particularly when it comes to the men who could otherwise have the potential to be good matriarchal men, has to do with how I feel many men may relate themselves to women.
For example, I used to consider myself to be an almost inherently “good man” on my own merits alone, and felt that I was relatively equal to women. However, since then I have come to realize and acknowledge that the best parts of myself are ultimately the culmination of women's own wisdom, efforts, and general influence on me. I wouldn't be half the man I am today if not for the many women I have meaningfully interacted with, and I wouldn't even exist all if not for the generations of women who came before me.
I feel the same is true for other “good men”.
To illustrate this, you could say that men, at their best, are autonomous living incarnations of women's love for humanity.
As such, I feel what we, as men, really want more than anything, at our core, is to give love back.
To do this, we must be mindful to center women's prosperity first and foremost. Whenever we consider a policy, we shouldn't default to how it may affect us personally, but should instead default to how it will benefit women.
Take having a curfew for men as an example. A man might see this policy and almost immediately be hesitant about it, if not straight up against it, as it would strictly cut down on his freedom to some degree. However, if we look at how this may benefit women, we can see that it would allow women to be much more safe and secure in their own freedom, which most certainly does serve to increase women’s prosperity. Not to mention, it will also incidentally serve to make men safer themselves if you think about it, but that's besides the point.
In fact, I feel that whenever men do get the chance to make relatively small but meaningful sacrifices in favor of women's best interest, they should feel extremely honored to do so rather than burdened.
I feel some men may feel inclined to reject this to some degree, as it can often be difficult to break through feelings of unfairness towards oneself, but I believe this self-victimization type of mindset mainly only serves to make themselves more miserable, if not also to uphold the Patriarchy. Afterall, in order to have any significant chance to counter the Patriarchy's extreme hatred towards women, we must find and maintain an even stronger radical love for said women.
To put it simply, women's prosperity is everyone's prosperity. Therefore, it is our duty to make a hyper-focused emphasis on women's prosperity, and trust that the rest will follow.
Furthermore, while we should be willing to put a great deal of our own efforts into this, we also ought to practice consistent mindful gratitude and appreciation towards women. Afterall, none of this would be remotely possible without them, so we must stay humble and not feel entitled to anything in return. We are lucky to even be here.
We must also remember that any of our positive efforts towards a better world is less a reflection of our own innate “goodness” as men, and more a reflection of women's combined efforts acting from within us.
At the end of the day, I don't wish to feed my own ego. I just wish to make women proud to have invested in me, and to show their efforts paying off. I would like to think that most other matriarchal men feel the same way.
With all that said, I feel the Gynarchy is not just a movement for us to contribute to or support. It is a natural home for our best selves, built and owned by women, which we are meant to advocate for, defend, and help maintain, with all our hearts.
There's no need to make a fuss about any of this, even if we are directly criticized. It's okay to make mistakes. What matters most is learning from them, and not allowing our egos to get in the way.
Regardless of your feelings, the blunt fact of the matter is, we exist, in general, because of women, for women. I believe a critical step in becoming our best selves is truly acknowledging and internalizing this fact.
As for the women, I just want to take this moment to thank you all for your efforts in establishing and maintaining this movement, and for your patience in working with us men. My gratitude extends beyond what I feel I could ever tangibly express 🙏