Men may feel that women are making unfair demands of men, and that men are being assigned a task that they shouldn’t be stuck with
>Make a serious, careful effort to understand what she is saying, even if you think you already know. You have a history in this relationship of listening poorly and assuming the worst, which you can only correct by shutting your mouth and opening your mind.
>You have had habits of focusing on your feelings and her behavior. You have to completely shift the focus onto her feelings and your behavior.
>And this means, for example, that you have to stop jumping on her about the tone she speaks to you in, but you’re going to have to take it seriously when it’s the other way around and she’s complaining about your tone. And this is going to feel unfair to you, but actually it isn’t unfair at all; it’s an inevitable part of the process of overcoming your abusiveness unconscious contributions to the patriarchy.
>Now, look back at the starred list above and ask yourself, “Is this really such an unreasonable set of demands? Is this really a huge, unfair burden to put on a person? Do these requirements tie my hands so that I can’t stand up for myself?” The answer is clearly no; your attachment to the above behaviors is about being attached to silencing her. And your most urgent task is to stop silencing her.
I've posted bits and pieces of this before, but here it is again: Guide for Men Who Are Serious About Changing – Part 1 it's good for incels and gynarchal men alike. Although I've seen a lot of growth from the men here (or the men who weren't cut out for the journey already left), it's still good to be reminded that the list has already been made for men who want to help improve their support of women or help dismantle the patriarchy from the inside.
This list will also work for men who struggle in their relationships with women. Divorced dads and incels who lurk here, this link is your golden ticket for learning "How to win her back" or "How to not lose the next one", speaking in your lingo.
Women, continue to be hard to get and easy to lose. The good men will follow.