u/Appropriate_Cut_3536

Oh this would be such a good post if I actually cared enough to write it all out. But don't you guys think the title is accurate?​ I have seen soooo many men come here whining about why we hate and want to oppress men and how we want to impose FLRs on everyone. Like, buddy? You're kinda obsessed with that image aren't you 💀 and it's not just the men. There's women out there all mad at us for being "patriarchy in a skirt" which is just the cringiest image.

My loves, I get you not wanting female rule to embody the same toxic masculinity male rule had. But thats not at all what we advocate here and your obsession with us doing that to you/men/society kinda is the same vibe as the mencels who come here whining about women wanting to oppress them lol. For those men I can just say "Ew no one wants to oppress you, go away". But what to say to the ladies? No one cares if you don't want to participate in a gynarchy or an FLR. Literally, just don't be a part of it? ​

We don't need everyone to be a part of the gynarchy, just those who want to be. We're just another parallel system; a break-away society, if you will. If you don't like it, go make your own. Trust me, no one needs your non-voluntary ass.

I understand the slimy males who just want to be all in our face about their stupid porn brains, but I really don't get the women who act all pearl clutchy about gynarchy.

There's a certain quality of "The lady doth protest too much, methinks". And I'm sorry to out yall, but I swear these ladies are literally just dominatrix eggs crackin 💀

Am I wrong here?

This is a short, because people might want a taste before committing to the whole lecture.

But this guy is a remarkably un-dogmatic scientist, he has other lectures holding industrial "science" accountable for its dogmas and is a good listen too. His basic theory is that everything is demonstrably connected, and it appears that women in general are more connected to everything than men are.

This evidence-based super power women hold is a big reason I believe women make better leaders overall.

>>Parasocial relationships are one-sided, non-reciprocal psychological bonds where an individual develops a sense of intimacy, friendship, or familiarity with a media figure, such as a celebrity, influencer, or fictional character, despite having no direct interaction with them. The term was coined by Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl in 1956 to describe the "illusion of intimacy" created by mass media, particularly television.

Basically, they don't see themselves on our level, and they prefer the clout or the feeling of "in-group" we give them being connected to them online or over FaceTime or get-pics-then-dip interactions.

To fix: call them out publicly and/or clearly expose the lack of relationship by other means. If you address the parasocial relationship outright - they will either change or double down with less contact. But they wont keep acting like they know you/r kids when they don't. I'm willing to bet most of us here who have half ass parasocial relationship grandparents have simply never publicly called them out. Why not? Just expose them.

It sucks at first but it's easier in the long run than trying to fake a happy family image. Don't just drop the rope, set fire to the rope bridge. Show everyone that you know they're just parasocial fan boys, not grandparents.

Just had to share this comment, bc I love it. I think addressing mencel mentality is the key out of patriarchy.

Im feeling controversial bc I'm bleeding and may be out enjoying life for a few days instead of being my usual reply queen self. I might even take a whole ass summer break to get un brain-roddit.

But anyways here's one last banger, I've been trying to get my point across clearly during multiple rando convos over the years, but here's my "micro-grand theory of everything" gynarchy version.

---

Women don't need to do shit. We don't owe you shit. And we arent shit.

Stop pedestalizing us, stop acting like we can help you (we cant, tried for eons), and stop fronting that you love being abused or neglected by us. We give that alllll to ourselves, men get the puniest scraps of our full critique-tongue and you will NEVER know what the full experience is like unless you grew up in a female body in a patriarchal culture, so I don't wanna see any fuckin whining from men about how women are being too negative towards you, or how you're low key getting off on it. Fetishizing what you've put women through for the past few eons is being documented for future review. Women are the one's who get to whine and fetishize our experiences, not you.

🎤💧

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Votes for Women:

In fact, let's all have our first subreds vote! Shall we make a rule against all male whining? (Crying is OK🤙)

If like 80% of our reputable users agree or, all of our female mods, let's get that going. I want yall all to pitch in and change this sub up for the best while I'm gone. Just suprise me, shake it up. Make me proud to be associated with gynarchism. I'll hyu if anything sux.

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Ok, those were the potatoes, onto the title of the post and the micro-grand theory...

The Meat of my Argument:

We can't change men, especially not with honey. Vinegar is appropriate here, were seeking to repel the bad men, not attract the good ones. We can only inspire men towards whatever choice theyre going to make anyway by raising our prices collectively. Men only really respect what they've invested in, so we can't fix anything by being nice or easy. It's only fixed by *increasing* the difficulty level so that we know their efforts are real and not just some breadcrumbs performance to get our attention/approval. It's also so that men feel they've invested in something expensive and fragile, which mean women are the one's who need to be convinced and cautiously tended to to fix gender relations - not men.

If a man whines that we've been too hard on them lately, they're saying they haven't yet faced enough hardships. I'm not even talking anything bad or illegal. I'm talking just remove the benefits he gets from patriarchy, and make fights his problem. Make reparations his problem. Make the smashing of the patriarchy his problem.

And throw obstacles in his path towards achieving the gynarchy, so you know he's genuine and willing to put in effort. Basically, gynarchy won't come through systems-first thinking, it will come slowly bubbling up all around us through interpersonal changes of female solidarity and male consequences.

So we have had this here since forever:

>The Gynarchists Creed

>See Her, hear Her, admire and attend Her. To Her, in all matters of substance, defer. (Lee Gotham )

Then it has a link to an article I stopped reading because it seemed like an old man whos been in the BDSM community too long wrote it. I actually had to stop reading because it was all over the place (worse than my writing even) and called Darwin "a intellectual giant among men", that's sic. Bro said "a intellectual". And anyways Darwin is a racist misogynistic low key loser.

This link has to go, imo, and I kinda hate the creed too.

☕️ so, anyone else?

And I'm glad I didn't stoop to her level. I just sent a 'happy early mothers day' text the day before to everyone so I wouldn't have to do any labor on the actual day.

She didn't return the smidgen of effort to say the actual holiday greeting to her daughter who's the mom of her grandkids, of course, but she did talk about where she went for breakfast. Which I left on read, obviously.

Dr. Risling Baldy explains how this tradition prevents teen suicide, educates young women about domestic abuse, and addresses patriarchy.

Through the flower ceremony in particular, young women are honored at a time when the broader American society sends them messages that they are dirty, gross, and “lesser than” males.

Idk what yall think our subs reputation is or if we need better PR? I love this place because there aren't many truly pro-female feminist subs that haven't been taken over by men/pickmes in some form. The more solid ones always get taken down (we love and miss you, FDS).

So what can we do to improve this sub's PR with the actual allies, while keeping it from getting taken down?

So many potential amazing women might avoid this space because, like me, they received warnings that we are just fetish or patriarchy in heels or whatever. Tell me your ideas of how we can make a bigger, better impact without being too controversial? Or at least keeping it more classy?

What do yall think? Also I made this an AMA because I'm bed rotting today and might be down for answering any Qs or issues people have, so bring some shit up. If you love this space/topic but you've been waiting to say smth, nows the time.

Women arent idiots, we evolved to know who's fuckable and who's not.

Most men are idiots for not taking women's rejection as the ultimate gift of information anyone could ever give him.

If I had to pick the #1 idea for men's collective improvement, it would be:

Foster deep appreciation for women who don't give their enthusiastic consent, back off for a few weeks and go improve yourself.

Women saying no to, laughing at, or being grossed out by men is literally the greatest piece of information anyone could ever give men. It's the start of men's improvement journey, and men can't really give it to each other at the same quality women can give it to men.

Just wanted to put that out there for all our dedicated-yet-currently-unfuckable lurkers. ​

Homosexuality used to be considered a mental illness. That doesn't mean gay doesn't exist, it means they used a false diagnostic system to target and systemically oppress specific, valid differences among healthy humans.

It's just evidence the industry is pseudoscientific, but there is actual science we can try or at least a philosophical understanding to discover of human differences.

A place for people who believe there is a significant and essential difference in the way they perceive and interact with the world compared to the majority of their community, but doesn't believe in the pseudoscience of the DSM/psychiatry industry.

Neurodivergent and typicals welcome, NDs prioritized. Ethical bioessentialism focused, both super powers and struggles acknowledged. Follow site wide rules. Use differences to find paths to connection rather than seperation. Heart-centered space.

Let me know any questions you have about this description or how we can better update it to serve our members' needs. You're here at the beginning of our subs journey! You get to be a part of it's growth! Grateful for your presence. 💚🍀

Hey everyone! I'm u/Appropriate_Cut_3536, a founding moderator of r/SpicyAntipsychiatry.

This is our new home for all things related to Antipsychiatry, healing support, and being real about mind differences. We're excited to have you join us!

What to Post
Post anything that you think the community would find interesting, helpful, or inspiring. Feel free to share your thoughts, photos, or questions about all kinds of "disorders" and their healed equivalents: although we may use words like "Autism, ADHD, C-PTSD or TBI" here, we are talking in general and this sub is not specifically geared towards medical diagnosises and we DO NOT GIVE MEDICAL ADVICE.

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Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make r/SpicyAntipsychiatry amazing.

Here's the deal:

Father's are great and necessary for certain things (especially supporting the male children in their older years as they become men), but really dads are far less important than moms and might not even be necessary - arguably.

Now, that's not to say they aren't deeply valuable enrichment for kids' and moms' lives. But they're just not who we should be throwing the vast majority of our energy investments into.

The biggest reasoning for this is that I have seen that despite whatever support/encouragement we give men... men are either going to choose to be decent/phenomenal fathers and partners, or they're going to choose to be subpar.

Many men choose to be subpar in a patriarchy because the patriarchys whole shtick is that it professes to guarantee any man a wife and kids, even if he's subpar. Patriarchal societies especially encourage men to be subpar fathers and het-partners (unconsciously, if not outright, as they center men and prioritize them above women and children).

Another reason the patriarchy encourages most men to be subpar is that the mediocre men in power can feel like theyre the "best" men without having to put much effort into actually fulfulling their potential or being above-par men. (Whereas, in a matriarchy, most men being above-par would be the desired outcome of those in power, not to center fathers but to benefit women and children via having standards of high-quality partners/fathers).

I think most moms would choose to be decent/phenomenal moms and in fact often are despite not making a conscious effort to do so, simply because their biology has naturally developed to care for the ​young... whereas mens biology has not, and has rather developed to make as many kids as possible despite not really prioritizng involvement in the after-care of their creation.

Basically my argument is that:

1. Women are natural care givers, so society should focus on giving majority care to *them*. Support the supporters, not because they're weak or need us but because we need them and society is weak without strong mothers.

2. Men are not natural care givers, so men should focus on improving that skill, while society should focus on NOT being distracted helping the man with his own work.

It's men's duty to do the work to improve themselves as fathers and partners, society can encourage them by NOT holding their hand and NOT giving them too much encouragement. Working on raising the standards for men, being a bit harsher with our judgements, and NOT giving men much reward/congradulations for doing what they should've done all along.

We can do the opposite for women/mothers. We can be a bit less harsh, fewer judgements, and reward/congratulate their efforts even when it's just what we think they "should be doing".

This is all over the place. But essentially, the conclusion is don't center men, don't center fathers... and that **even too much trying to help/encourage men to be decent fathers is centering**.

We can help and encourage them a little, but mostly the path forward is to just raise male expectations collectively and apply strict social consequences for male mistakes... while lowering female expectations collectively and applying less strict social consequences for female mistakes (this last part will give men more room to shine).