r/antipsychiatrywomen

This is a short, because people might want a taste before committing to the whole lecture.

But this guy is a remarkably un-dogmatic scientist, he has other lectures holding industrial "science" accountable for its dogmas and is a good listen too. His basic theory is that everything is demonstrably connected, and it appears that women in general are more connected to everything than men are.

This evidence-based super power women hold is a big reason I believe women make better leaders overall.

Is CPTSD a sort of inward BPD?

Like it depends how you get diagnosed.

I can’t remember where I got this from exactly.

But some quack on zoom diagnosed me with eupd in 2023 but the nhs constantly say NO.

You have CPTSD. (Plus ocd/ adhd/ bulimia/ anorexia/ PMDD/ depression/ anxiety)

Like it’s really specific what triggers me - and it is men and alcohol. So I avoid both.

I had boob scans for cancer last week and I’ve been hallucinating a man’s face that abused me as a teen.

I tried to kill myself 4 years ago - after a large age gap dating phase with someone who mimicked the abuser. Literally same mannerisms, creeped me out for 6 months, hounding me at work/ I was trapped.

Im struggling with WHY the ultrasound and examination triggered me so much, I have no attachment to the radiologist, I just feel violated and once again terrified to go outside. I had a little flirt with someone who’s actually pleasant to me on Wednesday and I want to throw up.

I am really aware and have good insight, (I’ve seen a female NHS psychiatrist this week) she explained the dissociation, textbook adhd, PTSD symptoms. Like I’ve been told autistic traits but I’m starting to realise I’m not actually that autistic at all when I’m well.

But currently my vision is fucked, fibromyalgia, numbness in my limbs, hands, missing sleep, hallucinations of the man’s face which terrifies me and I’m pouring sweat.

I’ve been crying in the shower, naming emotions, and I’ve calmed down. It’s really frustrating that I’m essentially hallucinating a whole fear based reality that doesn’t exist.

The present moment exists and I much choose to be calm and grounded (all whilst in agony and seeing potential threats). It’s.. weird. It’s taking so much time to just ‘calm down’.

I was almost talking myself into a&e an hour ago. I was spiralling big time. But I’m not suicidal anymore because I do like me, I am a good human and I want to contribute to society. I don’t want to harm myself or my family or community.

So what would A&E do if I walk in mute say in a corner?

It does makes me wonder are ‘all’ psychiatric symptoms a result of different traumas?

It’s just different brain responses?

I felt like a victim for a while but now I’m just angry/ sad that I’m the one left picking up the pieces unable to work because I can’t control the fear response in me currently.

I’ve agreed to try mirtazipine to improve sleep and digestion (still a bit anorexic from attempting to starve myself into a non sexual body/ to feel safe) but PMDD is worse.

I also said I would be open to Quitiapine low does. But want to research it first. Lamotragine didn’t help me historically and I got worried about side effects.

I know I’m not psychotic, but I fear it - I’m scared the hallucinations might spill over more into my wakeful hours.

I am so tired ☹️ But at almost 32 I’m looking back at my life scratching my head saying “if it was anyone else you would accept its trauma”.

I just don’t know how to make a new future - well I do. But it’s hard.

I’m being referred to a neurologist hopefully too as I had a mini stroke from sleep deprivation and over exercise in the gym 3 months before the suicide attempt in 2022. (Probably key info)

I DONT WANT MEDICATION

I want to just live.

I’m so fucking ANGRY .. aka.. upset ☹️