u/Tiredplumber2022

Im still struggling, but its better than it has been for the last 20 years.

BEST THING I LEARNED! Depression is not some single thing, not a monolithic illness that has a single cause and a single "silver bullet" cure, so quit hoping for one. It's also different for everyone.

I had to attack all the root causes one by one, and progress has been very slow.

1. Sleep. This was the hardest one. Had to learn how to fix my sleep, because in addition to depression I am prone to sleep deprivation psychosis at a much higher rate than most others, and certainly higher than when I was 18 (45 years ago). Despite what my brain tells me, I CAN'T pull an "all-nighter" any more.

2. Sunlight. This was the hardest one. No matter what time I got to sleep, or even if I didn't, I have to go outside and face the rising sun for a few minutes. Something about the early morning light helps reset all kinds of biological stuff in my brain.

3. Something physical. This was the hardest one. I had no motivation to do anything at all. Eat, shower, get out of bed. I even resented getting up to pee, to where I (almost) started pissing in bottles. What did it for me was finally getting talked into attending (watching, not participating) a BJJ class. I used to wrestle in high school, and it seems to have woken Something up in me. I now go 3x a week. Oldest man on the floor, can't do half the shit the youngsters do, but by God I'm there.

4. Quit drinking alcohol. Completely. Its been 10 months now. This was the hardest one for me. Been drinking since birth, basically, and entire family is alcoholic, going back as far as Ancestry dot com can see. "Family Tradition" of self medication to numb out bipolar, TLEs, PTSD, etc.

5. Zyrtec-D in the morning. The pseudoephedrine HCL 120 mg gives me just enough of a boost to get morning things done. The antihistamine helps also.

6. 200 mg L-THEANINE also in the mornings, and again around 5 pm. Keeps the "crazies" away. Stimulates alpha rhythms and suppresses Beta in the brain. Calmer, think clearer, less anxiety.

Like I said,lots of little things, none of which by itself made a huge difference, but together seem to be having a positive effect.

And yes, at the time, they ALL seemed like the hardest thing to do. 😀 Good luck.

I am SO F@CKING TIRED OF BEING DEPRESSED!! I have a ton of things that need to be done, that i haven't been doing. It's a farm; i absolutely have to do some things at specific times. My life is falling slowly ro ruin from this constant depression.

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Is there any way (other than illicit substances from Columbia) to reliably induce a hypomanic state just so I can get s#it done??

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Ugh. Rant over.

(Originally posted in r/Parenting , but MODS suggested i post here instead.)

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Wife's son visiting for the summer. 15, heavy duty gamer 24/7 if he could, mostly shooting games, Call of Duty, and a bunch i never heard of. Loves his toy guns, carrying them everywhere. Big kid. 5'11" 270 lbs. Father is ex-Army retired.

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I came into the house today and caught him at wife and I's bedroom door "shooting" one of his toy AR15s at our bed, making shooting noises, rotating back and forth between shooting at our bed, and shooting towards the bathroom (back of our bedroom). When he realized I was standing behind him he jumped like he'd been caught, apologized, and hurried off to his bedroom.

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I told my wife about it, and she didn't seem to feel like it was a problem. "The house doesn't have many obstacles for him to practice around".

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My issue? I'm a combat veteran, with TBI, PTSD, hypervigilance, and a whole list of issues. (Im at the VA regularly). All I could see when he was doing this was someone "practicing" to shoot us in our sleep. Either me or her or both, seeing as his changed targets 3 times rapidly.

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If he had done this while I was actually in bed? Bad things would have happened. As it is, it is very concerning behavior to me.

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Wife says I'm over-reacting. I always have to question myself due to the above listed issues, but this sounds like something you'd read in an FBI file about "the shooters home environment and how they grew up".

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No guns here, othe than a couple Daisy BB gun rifles.

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So, Parents Of Reddit; "Concerning Behavior" or " You're over-reacting " ?

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UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your comments. For those few of you that dont see an issue with this, ask yourself how you would feel if it was a toy knife instead, and you found him stabbing your pillow? And a knife is less "deadly" than a rifle.

Wife's son visiting for the summer. 15, heavy duty gamer 24/7 if he could, mostly shooting games, Call of Duty, and a bunch i never heard of. Loves his toy guns, carrying them everywhere. Big kid. 5'11" 270 lbs. Father is ex-Army retired.

​

I came into the house today and caught him at wife and I's bedroom door "shooting" one of his toy AR15s at our bed, making shooting noises, rotating back and forth between shooting at our bed, and shooting towards the bathroom (back of our bedroom). When he realized I was standing behind him he jumped like he'd been caught, apologized, and hurried off to his bedroom.

​

I told my wife about it, and she didn't seem to feel like it was a problem. "The house doesn't have many obstacles for him to practice around".

​

My issue? I'm a combat veteran, with TBI, PTSD, hypervigilance, and a whole list of issues. (Im at the VA regularly). All I could see when he was doing this was someone "practicing" to shoot us in our sleep. Either me or her or both, seeing as his changed targets 3 times rapidly.

​

If he had done this while I was actually in bed? Bad things would have happened. As it is, it is very concerning behavior to me.

​

Wife says I'm over-reacting. I always have to question myself due to the above listed issues, but this sounds like something you'd read in an FBI file about "the shooters home environment and how they grew up".

​

No guns here, othe than a couple Daisy BB gun rifles.

​

So, Parents Of Reddit; "Concerning Behavior" or " You're over-reacting " ?

​

​ UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your comments. For those few of you that dont see an issue with this, ask yourself how you would feel if it was a toy knife instead, and you found him stabbing your pillow? And a knife is less "deadly" than a rifle.

Soooo tired of being depressed. My life ticking away second by second and day by day while I lay here useless. At my age I don't have many years left. I'd much rather be manic and go out with a bang than just rot away .... at least if I'm manic I'll get stuff done.

The th8ng is, most of them are not native English speakers, and so they keep misspelling it as "kys". Oh well, it's the thought that counts.

Over the millenia, as humans began to use tools, and slowly shifted from an environment where protection from animal predators was necessary, men were no longer quite as necessary either. However, eons of natural selection for stronger, faster, more aggressive males became toxic as there were fewer animal predators. Then, men became necessary as protection from other men, as humanity began to prey upon itself. Rape, pillage, plunder, conquest, capitalism, all the different ways humans try to gain advantage over another, have generally been the purview of males.

We were bred to be soldiers in a battle that no longer exists.

Over the millenia, as humans began to use tools, and slowly shifted from an environment where protection from animal predators was necessary, men were no longer quite as necessary either. However, eons of natural selection for stronger, faster, more aggressive males became toxic as there were fewer animal predators. Then, men became necessary as protection from other men, as humanity began to prey upon itself. Rape, pillage, plunder, conquest, capitalism, all the different ways humans try to gain advantage over another, have generally been the purview of males.

We were bred to be soldiers in a battle that no longer exists.

Or at the least first one I remember. Last week I picked up a new Dewalt 20v string trimmer at Home Depot. I really like it. Well built, works good, light weight.

While I was at the store, I remember also seeing a Dewalt 20v hedge trimmer, and after reading the reviews online, decided today to go get one.

So, there I am, at Lowe's, looking in the yard tools aisle, and there are absolutely no Dewalt tools there. None. And I CLEARLY remember where they were, 5 aisles down on the left wall of the store, 3rd bay on the right. I got a little annoyed, even asked a passing employee where they went. He swore they never had them. I even went to the service desk, and had them look it up. No luck.

Suddenly, i felt sad and embarrassed, and kinda helpless. A little old man who's lost his marbles. I was AT THE WRONG STORE! Ugh. (Lowe's instead of Home Depot )

Having a bit of trouble processing my feelings right now. 😞