Hurts more than I thought
I didn't expect the blow to be this bad.
Long relationship, I wanted to marry him, did paintings, poetry and more for him. He was my muse, my dear, the light for the hard days... I was there for him on his lowest, helped him get his dream degree, his house, his car, his pc.
We adopted two cats, lived together...
We had our ups and downs, but I was fully committed, not once such a thought crossed my mind... yet, every argument we had he throwed breaking up on my face. I didn't think of ending things, but now I can see this was something on his mind for a long time.
I forgave the things that hurt the most, worked on us... and now, three days before I decided to propose, this happens.
What am I supposed to do? I spent so many years with him, what else am I supposed to do.
I don't know what I'm doing.
How to cope, how to live... years, thinking of marriage every month, fucking paintings I did for him
This is awful