u/futurefilmaker123

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Second Script Showing

So this is the second script I’ve shared, the other one was called “Sully” which I myself think is pretty bad, BUT this one I’m about to share is called Rent Money. I’m MUCH more confident in this one, I am gonna share it through text, and also there 50+ pages of it. If you’re not up for that, or at least to read a small portion this is NOT for you, give advice whether blunt or harsh or casual, whatever it is, please do give it. Anyway here it is:

SUPER: Chapter 1: The Four Dipshits

The text appears in a vibrant but gritty yellow color over a black screen.

INT. KNOCK OFF GROCERY STORE - DAY

BILLY SULLIVAN (British, mid 20s). Stands behind a checkout lane.

He wears mandated work clothes for some knock off store.

An OLD LADY (60s, white) stands in front of him.

The Old Lady complains inaudibly.

Billy looks ahead in the distance.

As if he’s zoned out.

The camera slowly zooms in to his face.

He continues looking ahead like he’s used to this.

INT. MANAGER’S OFFICE

The MANAGER (40s, white) sits behind a desk.

Billy sits in a chair.

BILLY
So uh, what did you want to see me for?

The Manager sighs.

MANAGER
Billy… there’s been multiple times where you just stare in the distance when you’re being talked to by customers.

BILLY
Yea I know, I have a habit.

MANAGER
A habit?

BILLY
I like… frequently zone out or something.

MANAGER
Billy, I can’t have that. I’m sorry but… you’re fired.

BILLY
(Quietly)
I didn’t wanna work at this shit job anyway.

MANAGER
What was that?

Billy leans forward in his seat.

BILLY
(Enunciating)
I said… I didn’t want to work at this shit job anyway.

The Manager stares at him.

He looks offended.

MANAGER
Get out.

BILLY
Fuck you, I quit.

MANAGER
You can’t do that, I already fired you.

BILLY
Yes I can and I just did. So I’ll say it again… I quit.

The Manager points towards the door.

MANAGER
(Sternly)
Get out.

BILLY
Fuck you.

Billy exits the office.

The Manager leans back in his seat.

He then puts both of his feet on his desk.

He scoffs.
MANAGER
Dick.

“Loving Machine” by TV Girl plays.

INT. BILLY’S BASEMENT - NIGHT

“Loving Machine” continues playing.

Billy sits on a ragged old couch.

Around him sits:

JERMAINE LOUIS (black, mid 20s).

LEROY MARTIN (French, 20s).

DAVIE AIELLO (Italian, 20s)

In front of them is a table.

On the table is an open pizza box.

DAVIE
Hey Billy, get me a slice would ya.

BILLY
Y’know I don’t get it Davie.

He grabs a slice of pizza.

DAVIE
Get what?

Billy hands Davie the slice.

BILLY
I don’t get how you eat the most out of all of us. Yet you are the skinniest fuck known to man.

Leroy and Jermaine both laugh.

DAVIE
(Casually)
Yea well fuck you.

LEROY
Hey Billy.

JERMAINE
(Joking)
Oh shit, old Leroy’s got something to say.

LEROY
Fuck off Jermaine.

BILLY
I swear Leroy, if what’s about to come out of your mouth is more shit. I’m gonna fucking kick you out of my house.

LEROY
(Mocking)
How come you’re British, but you don’t say innit and mate and stuff like that.

Jermaine and Davie laugh.

BILLY
(Annoyed)
I swear to god. Anyway who wants some beers.

JERMAINE
Hell yea.

Billy gets up and walks towards a cheap mini fridge in the corner.

He opens it and grabs a pack of beers.

He walks back to the couch.

He sets it on the table with a THUD and CLINK.

LATER

The guys are mid-laugh.

They CLINK their bottles together.

Then they all take a swig of their beers.

BILLY
(Suddenly)
I quit my job.

Jermaine coughs, half choking on his beer because of the sudden news.

JERMAINE
Shit, you can’t just drop shit like that on us out of nowhere.

LEROY
Je suis d’accord avec ce qu’il a dit.

BILLY
Shut up Leroy no one understands you.

LEROY
Va te faire foutre.

DAVIE
Why the fuck would you quit? You’re already broke enough as is.

BILLY
It was a shit job.

JERMAINE
Yea but a shit job is better than no job.

BILLY
Well not for me.

Billy takes another swig from his beer.

BILLY (CONT’D)
So I have an idea.

DAVIE
I’m starting to get tired of your ideas.

BILLY
It’s a good one. Trust me.

JERMAINE
What is it?

Billy gives a sly smirk.

EXT. KNOCK OFF GROCERY STORE - NIGHT

Billy, Jermaine, Davie, and Leroy all stand outside of the grocery store.

All of them hold bats.

And all of them wear cheap clown masks.

Billy takes a swig of a beer.

BILLY
We’ll go once I finish.

He takes another swig from his beer.

There is a long silence.

He then chugs his beer.

He lets out a satisfied sigh.

Then he crunches the can and throws it to the side.

BILLY
Right, let’s go.

“Apache” by The Sugarhill Gang plays.

BEGIN MONTAGE

- They all walk towards the store.

- Billy smashes the large glass display window.

- An alarm RINGS throughout the store.

- They all walk into the store.

INT. KNOCK OFF GROCERY STORY - CONTINUOUS

- Billy smashes items and pushes shelfs down.

- Davie pushes other shelfs down.

- Jermaine smashes everything in sight.

- Leroy takes a shit on the floor.

END MONTAGE

INT. KNOCK OFF GROCERY STORE - DAY

The Manager walks throughout the store.

He is confused and terrified.

Then he walks down an aisle and reaches Leroy’s shit.

He looks down at it, disgusted.

MANAGER
(Terrified)
What the fuck!

INT. BILLY’S BASEMENT - DAY

All of the 4 guys laugh and crack open beers.

JERMAINE
You know I guess some of your ideas really ain’t so bad.

LEROY
Oui.

JERMAINE
Not necessary, but not bad either.

BILLY
Speaking of unnecessary, Leroy… why the fuck did you take a shit on the floor?

All of the guys laugh.

LEROY
Well you see.

He takes a quick swig.

LEROY
Oui, smashed items is bad and damaging, but not something that will never be forgotten. Now when that manager goes in there, and he sees a steaming pile of shit. He will be fucking scarred for life.

All of the guys laugh again.

Jermaine takes a swig of his beer.

JERMAINE
But for real though, what the hell are you gonna do? ‘Cause from what I see, you’re kinda fucked.

BILLY
Well… I may, or may not. Have another idea.

JERMAINE
Goddamn another one? Who are you, the fucking thinker?

DAVIE
He probably is.

LEROY
Well what the hell is it?

BILLY
Well I’m not sure I should say.

JERMAINE
Man just fucking say the goddamn thing.

BILLY
Well, what if… do you guys wanna start a drug empire?

They all go silent at the question.

The silence is long and awkward.

Nothing happens for a long moment.

DAVIE
You know what, fuck it I’m in.

Davie downs his beer and slams it down.

Leroy and Jermaine become less tense.

LEROY
I guess… oui, I’ll do it.

BILLY
Jermaine?

Jermaine thinks for a long moment.

JERMAINE
You know what, yea. I mean we’re not doing anything with our lives and we’re broke as fuck. Like 50 Cent said, get rich or die trying.

They all laugh.

BILLY
Wise words from a wise man.

LEROY
But if we’re really gonna do an empire, every one of those needs a name right?

They all nod.

DAVIE
(Thinking)
How about… the night crew?

JERMAINE
Eh… I don’t know about that one, seems like we’re trying to be too overly intimidating.

BILLY
Yea… how about—-

DAVIE
Oh! I’ve got it!

BILLY
Yea, cut me off all you fucking want.

DAVIE
How about the night hunters?

The others all exclaim to show how bad they think it is.

JERMAINE
Man get the fuck out of here.

Billy wheezes in laughter.

Leroy shakes his head.

BILLY
(Wheezing)
What type of fucking name is that?

DAVIE
Fuck all of y’all, it can’t be that bad.

Billy leans over, dying of wheezing laughter.

The others continue shaking their heads.

BILLY
(Wheezing)
It fucking is.

DAVIE
Eh fuck you. You look like you’re fucking dying.

Billy coughs, then slowly stops laughing.

LEROY
(Joking)
Davie you fucking suck.

DAVIE
(Annoyed)
Like you could come up with something better.

LEROY
I could.

DAVIE
Then do it.

LEROY
It’s easy, you take all of our factors and put it together. We’re broke, one of us is out of a job.

Billy nods.

LEROY (CONT’D)
Davie you are a professional dumbass.

Davie gives him the middle finger.

Billy snickers.

LEROY (CONT’D)
Jermaine you’re…

He draws off and thinks.

JERMAINE
I’m what?

LEROY
You’re something.

JERMAINE
No seriously what am I—-

LEROY
I don’t know.

JERMAINE
How the fuck do you not know?

LEROY
We’ll go over this another day.

JERMAINE
Ah fuck.

Jermaine sighs.

LEROY
Then you find what we, and even most people are hanging onto. And that is… Rent Money.

Jermaine nods with an intrigued face.

DAVIE
(Defensive)
Rent Money? What type of fucking name is that—-

BILLY
Davie shut the hell up, stop getting defensive.

LEROY
(Loudly)
Ha!

Davie flips Leroy off again.

BILLY
Rent Money eh? I like it, has a nice ring to it.

JERMAINE
Yea it does.

DAVIE
Oh come the fuck on! You can’t possibly think thats good.

BILLY
Davie… shut the fuck up before I ship your ass straight back to Italy.

Leroy snickers.

JERMAINE
Well all empires need ranks right?

BILLY
Yea, you’re right.

Billy shifts in his seat.

BILLY
What if we just do the traditional mafia thing, like the don and stuff.

JERMAINE
Nah, too basic.

DAVIE
I have some ideas.

BILLY
Aw fuck.

Leroy and Jermaine shake their heads.

JERMAINE
If you make up some bullshit…

DAVIE
Obviously we need a leader, which I think should be Billy since he suggested it.

Jermaine, Leroy, and Billy nod.

Billy has a smirk on his face.

DAVIE
So obviously he’s the “top of the chain”. So I think we call him Paramount.

Billy and Jermaine give an intrigued face.

LEROY
Like the company?

DAVIE
Yup.

LEROY
I like it.

BILLY
Maybe you ain’t half bad.

Davie smiles.

DAVIE
Then you need a right hand man. Obviously I’m a sucker for mythical and unique sounding words and mythology and shit like that. Now I was the first one to say I’m in. So I think I should be the Archon.

BILLY
The hell is a Archon?

DAVIE
Well it’s a Greek word that means ruler.

BILLY
But I thought I was the leader?

Billy, Leroy, and Jermaine all get a confused face.

DAVIE
Yes, you’re right you are. But I think since I’m the right hand man I’m kind of the second leader.

Leroy nods.

DAVIE (CONT’D)
And obviously your name still implies you’re the leader. So even though I am the Archon, you still are the Paramount, which literally means the peak, or top.

BILLY
Ok, I like it.

Jermaine nods.

DAVIE
Then obviously we need a muscle. Who we will call the Myrmidon, who is basically a warrior.

They all look at Jermaine.

JERMAINE
Why are you all looking at me?

DAVIE
Motherfucker are you really asking that?

BILLY
You’re the biggest one out of all of us.

JERMAINE
Alright fine.

DAVIE
Lastly, we need the cook. Who we will call the alchemist. This is an obvious one.

They all look at Leroy.

LEROY
Seriously? Just ‘cause I was the only one to take chemistry?

DAVIE
Oui, bitch.

LEROY
Fine. But I’ll have to get some equipment and even though I took chemistry obviously I don’t know how to fucking cook drugs so I’ll have to do a bit of research.

Billy nods.

LEROY
And I’ll probably just have to redistribute bought drugs for the first few sales before I actually start cooking.

BILLY
Fine by me.

JERMAINE
What if we act all formal like? Like in those Italian mafia movies with uncles names Rocco and shit.

LEROY
You mean like suits and oldie songs?

JERMAINE
Yup.

BILLY
I like that.

DAVIE
Me too.

JERMAINE
Obviously you’d fucking like it Davie, you’re an Italian.

DAVIE
Fuck off.

CUT TO BLACK.

SUPER: Chapter 2: Once Upon A Time… in Idiot America.

The super appears in vibrant yellow.

“Boyz-n-the Hood” by Dynamite Hack plays.

EXT. SIDEWALK - AFTERNOON

BEGIN MONTAGE
- Jermaine passes a DRUG DEALER (white, mid 20s) a 50.

- The Drug Dealer cautiously hands him a bag of weed.

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

- Leroy separates a pile of weed into multiple groups.

- He scoops them into plastic baggies.

- All of the four boys chug beers.

- Billy rolls up weed on cut-up paper.

EXT. BENCH - AFTERNOON

- Jermaine inaudibly talks to a CUSTOMER (white, teens) on a bench.

- The Customer passes him money.

- Jermaine cautiously passes him a bag of weed.

- The Customer takes the bag.

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

- Billy smokes some weed.

- Leroy searches how to make drugs on a computer.

- Davie drinks a beer.

EXT. WALL - AFTERNOON

- Jermaine tags RENT MONEY in red on a wall.

- Then he tags a blunt next to it.

EXT. SIDEWALK - AFTERNOON

- Jermaine gets passed some money by a MAN (white, 30s).

- He passes a bag of weed to the Man.

- A cop car slowly drives down the street.

EXT. ALLEY - AFTERNOON

- Jermaine passes the Drug Dealer money.

- The Drug Dealer gives him a bag of weed.

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

- Leroy scoops more weed into more baggies.

- On the table are 10 skimpy bags of weed.

END MONTAGE

Leroy turns around, exhausted.

He SIGHS loudly.

BILLY
You done?

LEROY
Oui.

Davie turns to Leroy.

DAVIE
You look like shit.

LEROY
Fuck you.

Leroy flips Davie off.

DAVIE
Hey, I’m just speaking the truth man.

Leroy walks to the mini fridge.

LEROY
Speaking the truth? You sound like a fucking hippie.

Leroy opens the fridge and grabs a beer.

DAVIE
What the hell do you know about hippies?

Leroy CRACKS open his beer.

LEROY
I know they smoke a lot of weed, and they have long hair and shit like that.

JERMAINE
(To Davie)
Shit he ain’t wrong.

DAVIE
Oh you’re taking his side now?

JERMAINE
I’m just saying.

BILLY
Stop bickering like fuckin’ kids will you all.

LEROY / JERMAINE / DAVIE
(In unison)
Fuck you.

BILLY
Anyway, oi Leroy, how long til you finally make our drug?

Leroy takes a swig of his beer.

LEROY
Eh… probably like a few weeks.

DAVIE
Eh, anyway you guys hear about that shit that went down in some city?

Billy and Jermaine shake their head.

DAVIE
Yea it was like some hit or something. A fucking shit-ton of guys with assault rifles went to some warehouse or something. There was a group of people in there, they just unloaded on them. I’m talking fucking hundreds of bullets. All of them were dead.

JERMAINE
Shit.

Jermaine shakes his head.

LEROY
That’s not fucking right man.

Leroy also shakes his head.

BILLY
They say what the hit was for.

DAVIE
Nah, they’ve just been trying to cover it up. But obviously it’s pretty hard to cover up something like that.

BILLY
Damn.

INT. NEAT OFFICE - DAY

EMIL SCHMIDT (mid 30s, German) sits behind a desk.

The movie freezes.

NARRATOR (V.O)
(Lazily)
Hey, narrator here. So the writer got a bit lazy so he made me so I can just guide you watchers through this movie. So that dude you’re seeing that is sitting.

An arrow pops up and points toward Emil with a DING.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Yea him. He’s a German dude, his name is Emil Schmidt. Yea, it’s a very German name.

The arrow goes away.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Anyway, he’s a drug empire leader, and incase you haven’t noticed. This is a drug movie, ‘cause maybe you’re on your phone because you’re addicted. Or maybe you’re just not paying attention, or maybe both. Or maybe you’re just dumb, or maybe all three. Or maybe a random combination of two of those. But yea, this is a drug movie. Cool now you understand, or maybe you weren’t paying attention to me so you didn’t even hear that. But hopefully you are paying attention, because if you’re not paying attention you are a female dog.

The Narrator clears his throat.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Anyway back to the point, yes, this German dude. Is the leader of a drug empire. Much bigger empire than Rent Money, they’ve got a whole lab and shit. It’s pretty cool. Anyway these guys are like the bad guys. But it’s a drug move like I said so I guess they’re all bad guys. But these guys are like the bad, bad, bad, guys. You know what I mean? Yea I’m sure you do know, but again, maybe you’re dumb or not paying attention or both so. I’m kinda rambling right now but thats because the writer is kinda trying to up the run length and page count. ‘Cause it’s way harder to write a script than you think. Anyway these dialogue blocks are getting super long but the writer is kinda clueless on what to do. But let’s start progressing the story now, shall we?

The movie unfreezes.

Emil takes out a cigar and lights it.

He takes a long drag from it.

Then he exhales the smoke.

He leans back in the seat.

NARRATOR (V.O)
(Whispering)
He’s about to get some bad news by the way, but I didn’t tell you that.

There is a KNOCK on the door.

EMIL
Come in.

Emil sighs.

CHRIS REDDING (late 20s, White) walks into the office.

The movie freezes again.

The Narrator sighs.

NARRATOR (V.O)
Now this doofus right here.

Another arrow points towards Chris with another DING.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Is Chris Redding, if it sounds familiar to you it should. It’s inspired by Chris Redfield. He is basically the right hand man to Emil.

The arrow goes away.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Here comes the bad news.

Chris walks to Emil’s desk.

CHRIS
Sir, I have some news.

Emil eyes him.

EMIL
Go on.

Chris hesitates for a moment.

CHRIS
(Reluctantly)
Some other drug group intercepted one of our shipments. They burned all of the drugs inside.

The movie freezes again.

NARRATOR (V.O)
I’m gonna take you back, back to the future! Nah I’m just gonna bring you to the shipment interception.

INT. SEMI-TRUCK - DAY

“You Keep Me Hangin’ On” by Vanilla Fudge plays.

Sitting in the driver’s seat is JOE JONES (Black, 40s).

In the passenger seat is ALEJANDRO FRANCISCO (mid 20s, Latino).

The movie freezes.

NARRATOR
Alright, time for me to explain some more. Now the driver.

A arrow pops up towards Joe with a DING.

NARRATOR (V.O)
That is Joe Jones. The writer swears he has heard this name before from somewhere but doesn’t remember, but it’s stuck in his head so he just chose it.

The arrow goes away.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Now onto the passenger.

The arrow pops up towards Alejandro with a DING.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
He is Alejandro Francisco, also the writer found out. Joe Jones was a ‘60s musician who worked with B.B King. And The Dixie Cups. He thinks he heard this name in a biopic that he watched. Back to the movie.

The movie unfreezes.

They are driving down a dirt road.

JOE
So, young man. Who do you think is the GOAT of the NBA.

ALEJANDRO
Oh that’s an easy one, obviously it’s Micheal Jordan.

The movie freezes.

NARRATOR (V.O)
The writer wholeheartedly also believes this, and he was born in 2014 so you can’t say he’s just an old head.

The movie unfreezes.

JOE
Wow, you’re a smart man, not many young people believe this. But it’s the only right answer.

Alejandro nods.

JOE
What’s your favorite team?

ALEJANDRO
Golden State Warriors.

JOE
Nice choice, but I’m a Bulls fan. I was actually born in Chicago.

ALEJANDRO
Really, well I was born in San Francisco.

JOE
Nice city, I’ve been there before.

ALEJANDRO
Yea, pretty grimy but still an amazing city.

JOE
Yea that’s true.

NARRATOR
Now let’s go look at the setup.

EXT. DIRT ROAD - CONTINUOUS

The song continues playing.

In the middle of the road is some spikes.

Lying on the side of the road is RONNIE DELGADO (30s, Italian).

He holds a gun.

He waits.

In the distance the semi-truck slowly approaches.

The movie freezes.

NARRATOR (V.O)
Back to it. The dude on the side of the road.

An arrow pops up towards him with a DING.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
That is Ronnie Delgado, really Italian name right? You’re probably thinking why the hell is it just one guy. But holy fuck knuckles that dude is dangerous, he doesn’t need anybody else. Let’s resume.

The arrow goes away.

The movie unfreezes.

Ronnie waits patiently.

The vehicle slowly gets closer and closer.

He aims his weapon.

Then the vehicle runs over the spikes.

The truck immediately loses control.

The tires SCREECH as the truck spins.

Then the truck flips over onto its side with a CRASH.

The truck SCRAPES loudly as it slides across the road.

Then it screeches to a stop.

There is an absolute silence for a long moment.

Then Ronnie gets up and starts walking towards the truck.

The silence continues.

He makes it to the front of the truck.

Both Joe and Alejandro lay unconscious inside.

The front windshield is completely shattered.

He aims his gun at Joe and shoots with a BANG.

Joe jolts slightly, dead.

Then he aims at Alejandro and shoots with another BANG.

Alejandro also jolts slightly.

Ronnie opens a small pack.

Then he pulls a can of aerosol out of it.

He opens the hood exposing the bare engine.

He starts SPRAYING the engine with the aerosol.

He continues SPRAYING it until the can is empty.

He throws the can to the side.

Then he takes a box of matches out of the pack.

He takes a match out.

Then he strikes it against the box.

It ignites.

He throws the match into the engine.

He then starts walking away.

After a short moment a ball of flames WHOOSHES up from the engine.

Ronnie continues walking away.

NARRATOR (V.O)
And so that marked the end of Joe and Alejandro. May they rest in peace.

INT. EMIL’S OFFICE - DAY

NARRATOR (V.O)
And we’re back to the moment right where we left.

Emil sits in silence, processing the news.

He takes a long drag from his cigar.

NARRATOR (V.O)
(Whispering)
By the way, if he takes a drag from his cigar after hearing something bad. That is basically his stress release so he doesn’t fucking obliterate everything in sight.

Emil takes a long moment of thought.

Then he turns to Chris.

EMIL
Send C.U.U.B.A. Hit their cook lab.

Chris nods.

NARRATOR (V.O)
That was so badass wasn’t it?

EXT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

We stay fixated on a house.

The night is silent.

Nothing happens for a long moment.

Then a line of people with machine guns enter the frame from the right side.

Then they all turn towards the warehouse.

Then we get a frontal shot of all of them.

It is 4 people.

On the left most of the line is JOJO SAMUEL (mid 20s, White).

To the left of the middle is MIA ELLERY (late 20s, White).

In the middle is ADONIS MILLER (mid 20s, Black).

On the right is MICHEAL MORRIS (30s, White).

The movie freezes.

NARRATOR (V.O)
Back to my job, phew, this is taking a long time for the writer to script by the way. Anyway let’s get into it. So the guy on the left most of the line.

A arrow pops up towards Jojo with a DING.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
He may not be on bizarre adventures but his name is still Jojo. Arguably the deadliest of the group, cool name too.

The arrow goes away.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Next, the girl left of the middle.

A arrow pops up towards Mia with a DING.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Her name is Mia Wallace—- wait never mind that’s the wrong movie. Her name is actually Mia Ellery. Pretty versatile.

The arrow goes away.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Now to the middle.

A arrow pops up towards Adonis with a DING.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
His name is Adonis Miller. The writer doesn’t know what to say about him so… that’s about it.

The arrow goes away.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Now to the right.

The arrow pops up towards Micheal with a DING.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
That guy is Micheal Morris. The writer also didn’t what to say about him. Incase you can’t do math, this makes a total of four people. Yes four people, while that may sound like a small sized hit unit these guys are fucking deadly. Their unit name is—-

C.U.U.B.A. Appears on the screen in comic style yellow letters.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
It is pronounced like the country. It stands for “Coordinated Unit Using Battle Arrangements”. Pretty complex name right. Anyway, ignore me, back to it.

The movie unfreezes.

They all stand there.

Some sling their guns over their shoulders.

Some point it down.

They examine the warehouse for a moment.

“Take My Breath Away” by Berlin plays.

They all walk towards the warehouse.

They reach the front of the warehouse.

A long, and big secure chain holds the big doors shut.

Jojo puts his gun down on the ground.

Then he grabs a buzzsaw that hung at his hip.

INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Tens of cookers stand at various cook stations.

Various substances lay on the workstations and on the floor.

Bags of them are in the corner.

There is the busy sound of people cooking drugs.

Then suddenly the loud ROAR of a buzzsaw comes from outside.

Everyone stops working and goes quiet.

They all look at the entrance.

They say nothing.

The ROAR continues for a long time.

Then there is the RATTLE of a chain dropping.

The ROAR comes to a halt.

Then the doors slowly slide open on one side.

As it opens more it reveals Jojo pushing the large door open.

He GRUNTS loudly.

All of the cooks continue looking at them like deer in headlights.

Then Jojo finishes pushing one side of the doors open.

Then he picks up his gun from the ground.

They all then walk inside.

Then they point their guns at everyone.

There is then a ROAR of bullets as they spray everything in sight.

There is a mix of SCREAMS and GRUNTS as the cooks get mowed down.

They fall one by one like flies.

The cascade of bullets continues.

Then Jojo’s gun runs out of bullets.

The others continue spraying.

Jojo drops his gun to the ground.

Then Mia’s gun runs out of ammo.

She tosses it in front of her.

The other two’s guns keep spraying.

Then Adonis’s gun runs out of ammo.

He drops it by himself.

Then Micheal’s gun runs out of ammo.

He then tosses it in front of himself.

Every one of the cooks are dead.

There is no sound but the song, blood trickling, and wind.

They all stand there, scanning the scene.

FADE TO BLACK.

SUPER: Chapter 3: Albatross

The super appears in vibrant yellow.

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

NARRATOR (V.O)
And so we land back here, once again.

JERMAINE
That’s some fucked up shit man.

Billy nods.

LEROY
Oui.

There is an awkward, long silence.

They all look down, thinking.

LEROY
(Awkwardly)
Uh… a British guy, a Black guy, an Italian guy, and a French guy walk into a bar.

All of the other guys look at Leroy.

LEROY (CONT’D)
The British guy says “Oi let’s go to the bar”. All of the other guys nod, they all sit at the bar. The bartender says “Pretty diverse group eh?”, the French guy says “Oui”.

All of the other guys wait for him to go on.

Jermaine gives Billy a confused side eye.

There is another awkward silence.

BILLY
Oi Leroy… what in the absolute fuck are you talking about?

LEROY
Beats me.

Jermaine and Davie snicker and laugh.

BILLY
Do me a favor and please never make a joke again, I’m beggin’ ya.

Leroy nods.

BILLY
I’m fuckin’ high.

DAVIE
Should we call it a day?

BILLY
Yea I think so, I’m fucking exhausted.

EXT. STREETLIGHT - NIGHT

NARRATOR (V.O)
Thing is, these guys didn’t hit the hay. They got batshit drunk and then started serenading under a streetlight like they’re the fucking Jersey Boys or something.

All four of the guys stand directly under a spotlight.

They were snazzy, classy suits.

Then they start singing “Sherry” by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons.

They all snap their fingers.

Davie sings as Frankie Valli.

All of the others make backing harmonies.

They continue singing under the spotlight.

We fade to black and their voices and snaps fade too.

NARRATOR (V.O)
Seriously, the writer wants everyone watching to fucking blow up Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons and listen to them non fucking stop. They are criminally underrated, anyway… back to it.

INT. BASEMENT - DAY

All of the boys sit on a couch.

They watch TV.

BILLY
Say uh, Davie.

DAVIE
Yea?

BILLY
How much did we spend on drugs?

DAVIE
150 dollars.

BILLY
How much did we make in sales?

DAVIE
(Hesitant)
60 dollars.

There is a loud silence.

BILLY
How much do we have?

DAVIE
100 dollars.

Billy turns to Leroy.

BILLY
You ready?

Leroy thinks about it for a moment.

Then Leroy turns to Billy.

LEROY
Oui.

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

“Rag Doll” by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons plays.

Leroy stands over a wooden table.

He wears a hazmat suit.

The couch is now pushed into the corner.

The table is cluttered.

On it are: Erlenmeyer flasks, a magnetic stirring plate, plastic tubing.

BEGIN MONTAGE

- Leroy begins cooking.

- We hear CLINKING glass as he moves the flasks around.

- He pours a murky brown liquid through a funnel.

- The liquid comes out a crystal-clear fluid.

- All of the other boys stand at the staircase.

- Leroy breaths heavily through the mask.

JERMAINE
So what are you trying to do?

- Leroy turns to Jermaine.

LEROY
(Rushed)
I—-I’m trying to get the pu—-purity threshold as high as possible. The purer the better you know?

- Leroy turns back to the desk.

- The fluid spills onto the wooden table.

LEROY
Shit!

- It immediately creates a hole and falls through.

BILLY
Are you gonna blow the fucking house up?

LEROY
Just—- just shut the fuck up!

- He pours the clear liquid onto a tray.

- It HISSES as it makes contact.

- Then he covers the tray with wrapping.

- He carefully grabs the tray and walks toward the fridge.

- He places the tray inside the fridge.

- Leroy sits down on the floor.

DAVIE
How long do we wait?

LEROY
Hours.

- The camera goes to the clock.

- The clock is sped up and the hands on it fly by.

- Then after a bit of this it goes back to regular.

- It’s past midnight.

- Leroy places the tray back on the table.

- The liquid is now frozen.

- He takes the wrapping off.

- Then he takes a hammer and SMASHES the solid with the sharp end.

- It breaks up into small solid pieces.

- The end result is a wax-like clear small block.

- Leroy takes off his suit.

- He is sweating.

- He is PANTING.

- His face is heavily exhausted.

- He turns around to the others who sit at the staircase.

LEROY
It’s done.

EXT. BENCH - DAY

Jermaine stands cautiously near a park bench.

BILLY (V.O)
Now since it’s a new drug, those fucking junkies are gonna be interested from the start. You know why? It’s because they know that there’s a chance this drug will be like nothing else. Maybe, just maybe. It’ll feel like the first time they smoked crack, that’s what intrigues them.

A BUYER (late 20s, White) with scrappy clothes and bad hygiene approaches Jermaine.

They start talking inaudibly.

BILLY (V.O)
Now Jermaine, I want you to make sure they know it’s new.

JERMAINE (V.O)
Price?

BILLY (V.O)
Let’s do… eh 100 bucks or something like that.

DAVIE (V.O)
100? Ain’t that high?

BILLY (V.O)
Yea, but trust me. Those buyers, they’re fucking hooked. They’ll chop off their dick to experience a sweet high.

The Buyer and Jermaine continue talking.

Then the Buyer hands him a 100 dollar bill.

Jermaine takes it then he reaches into his pocket and grabs a bag.

He takes the bag and hands it to the Buyer.

The Buyer takes it and walks away.

“Christmas Kids” by Roar plays.

BEGIN MONTAGE

INT. BASEMENT - DAY

- A stack of money of about 300 dollars gets tossed on the floor.

EXT. STREETS - AFTERNOON

- Jermaine passes another customer a bag of their drug.

EXT. STREETS - LATER

- A different customer passes Jermaine 100 dollars.

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

- two bigger stacks of money gets tossed next to the previous stack.

- Billy sways through the room to the song.

EXT. STREETS - DAY

- A hand gives a 100 dollar bill to Jermaine.

- Another hand gives another 100 dollars to Jermaine.

- Another hand gives the same to Jermaine.

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

- Davie humps the air while holding cash in his hand.

- Leroy cooks more of the drug in the hazmat suit.

- The floor gets 4 big stacks of cash tossed on it.

- There is now much more cash on the floor than before.

- Leroy pops a champagne bottle open.

- Leroy takes a long messy drink from it.

LEROY
(Loudly)
Let’s fucking go—-

INT. APARTMENT STAIRWELL - DAY

END MONTAGE

Jermaine walks up a stairwell.

His shoes echo through the stairwell as he continues walking up.

He makes it to a floor.

INT. APARTMENT HALL - CONTINUOUS

Then he walks down the hall and his footsteps THUD against the carpet.

He stops at one of the apartment doors.

He bangs on the door.

He looks around cautiously.

THUDDING FOOTSTEPS are heard from inside.

TYRONE (V.O)
(Muffled)
Who’s there?

JERMAINE
It’s Jermaine man, you said you wanted to try the new shit, I got it here with me.

The lock CLICKS as it gets unlocked.

The door opens.

At the door is TYRONE MARTINS (late 20s, Black).

Tyrone sticks his head out the door and looks left and right down the hall.

BRANDY LONG (mid 20s, Black) steps to the door.

She eyes Jermaine.

BRANDY
Who’s this?

Tyrone turns to her.

TYRONE
This the dude I was telling you about.

BRANDY
You mean thats Jermaine?

TYRONE
Yes baby, go back inside, we just gotta do some business.

BRANDY
Ok.

She walks back inside and Tyrone turns back to Jermaine.

TYRONE
Come on, let’s do this at the stairs.

JERMAINE
Alright.

Tyrone steps outside and closes the door.

They both start walking towards the stairs.

INT. APARTMENT STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

TYRONE
How much is it?

JERMAINE
100 dollars.

Tyrone scoffs in disbelief.

TYRONE
(Shocked)
100 dollars? Get the fuck out of here with that shit, how ‘bout you give yo’ mama 100 dollars.

JERMAINE
What the fuck you say about my mama?

TYRONE
The fuck you gonna do?

Jermaine immediately punches him hard in the face with a THWACK.

Tyrone GRUNTS from the sudden hit and falls back.

He falls down the long stairs, his body THUDDING against each step.

Then he reaches the platform and his neck SNAPS.

Leaving it at an impossible angle.

Jermaine looks down at Tyrone, processing what happened.

His face a mix of confusion and terror.

JERMAINE
(Terrified)
Oh shit.

“Better in the Dark” by Jordana and TV Girl kicks in.

SUPER: Rent Money

The title drops as soon as the beat drops.

It is styled in vibrant but gritty yellow text.

Jermaine continues looking down, still terrified

The song and title abruptly cut out.

It is total silence.

Jermaine immediately starts running down the stairs.

His shoes SQUEAK and THUD as he rapidly runs down them.

He continues going down them, then out of frame.

CUT TO BLACK

The song resumes from the exact moment it cut out.

BEGIN MAIN TITLES.

We remain on black as the opening credits roll.

Each credit suddenly cuts in on each beat drop of the song.

The credits appear in glowing neon-red text.

The music carries us through the credits.

The music ends as the credits end.

END MAIN TITLE.

SUPER: Chapter 4: The Grave Of Tyrone Martins

The text appears in glowing neon-red text over a black screen.

INT. STAIRWELL - NIGHT

All four of the boys now stand at the stairs, all looking down at the body.

Each of their faces are disgusted.

BILLY
Fuckin’ shite.

DAVIE
Where the hell are we supposed to put it?

LEROY
Dump it in a river?

BILLY
No, too obvious, too easy to find.

JERMAINE
Then where the fuck do we put it.

BILLY
You bury it.

DAVIE
Where’d you get that idea from?

BILLY
Kill Bill 2.

NARRATOR
The writer did actually get this idea from Kill Bill 2.

“Born Wicked” by Solya plays.

They continue looking down at the body.

JERMAINE
Fuck it.

EXT. APARTMENT PARKING LOT - NIGHT

All four of the guys carry Tyrone, struggling.

They carry him to their car, then they drop him on the ground.

Billy opens the trunk.

Then they all pick Tyrone up again and dump him inside the trunk with a heavy THUD.

INT. TRUNK - CONTINUOUS

They all look inside of the trunk at Tyrone.

Then Billy closes the trunk, leaving us in total darkness.

EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

The song now plays on a radio on the ground by Davie.

Jermaine digs a hole in a graveyard with a shovel.

All of the other guys stand around him and Billy points a flashlight at the ground.

JERMAINE
Do we seriously need music?

BILLY
Better than silence.

Jermaine continues shoveling.

LEROY
How much longer, it’s fucking freezing.

JERMAINE
Cool your balls, not much left.

He continues shoveling.

BILLY
So uh… how in the fuck nuts did this happen?

JERMAINE
He insulted my mama, so I socked him in the face. He fell down the stairs and broke his neck.

DAVIE
Shit.

BILLY
I think we should be fine.

Jermaine stops shoveling, with a confused face.

He turns around towards Billy.

JERMAINE
Fine? We just fucking killed a guy, we ain’t fine.

BILLY
First off, we did not kill a guy, you did. Second off, nobody saw it, it wasn’t loud. It wasn’t a bloody crime scene, he didn’t touch or scratch you. How in the fuck are people gonna know we did this?

Jermaine stays silent and then goes back to shoveling.

Everyone watches in silence for a moment.

Then Jermaine stops shoveling and throws the shovel to the side.

Then he gets out of the hole.

JERMAINE
It’s ready.

Billy kicks Tyrone who is lying in front of him towards the hole.

Tyrone rolls into the hole with a THUD.

DAVIE
What now?

BILLY
I guess… we’re already this deep. I think we should actually start an empire, no more of this basement shit, we’ve got money now.

LEROY
But how the hell are we gonna start a full fucking empire.

BILLY
Simple, you find people in our situation, or worse. Young guys, 20s maybe 30s. Homeless, just broke. We recruit them by telling them it’ll put money in their pockets, give them a roof over their head, give them food to eat. ‘Cause in a way… it will.

DAVIE
I like the idea but uh… how are we gonna recruit?

We fade to black.

FRENCHIE (V.O)
And that was Ritchie Valens’s hit song “La Bamba”. Now here’s a few fun facts about this next song by The Excellents. It was actually arranged in 10 minutes, according to lead singer John Kuse, songwriters Vinny Catalano and Billy Alonzo handed them the track in the studio. They then went out to an echoey hall and worked out their beautiful vocal arrangement in just those 10 minutes, and immediately after that they recorded it. Now despite the name of the song, the six-piece group was not actually from Brooklyn. They were actually from the Bronx and met at Christopher Columbus High School. Now the original name of the group was actually The Premiers. But after hanging out at a white castle, while eating one of the members said that the burgers were “really excellent”. And, the rest was history. Also, legendary Lou Reed was born in Brooklyn and loved the song so much, he placed it at his 6th favorite song of all-time. Even later using that title on his critically acclaimed album and title track. Now “Coney Island Baby” by The Excellents is coming from your favorite radio station, Frenchie’s Golden Songs From The 50s, 60’s, 70’s, And 80’s.

“Coney Island Baby” by The Excellents plays.

EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY

Wide shot of an empty sidewalk.

ON THE BEAT DROP—-

all of the 4 guys walk into frame in slow motion (48 FPS).

They walk through the sidewalk, then take a right and continue down it.

They all wear a white dress shirt, black ties, a black suit, black dress pants, and black casual shoes.

Billy leads them and they all stand beside and behind him.

They continue walking down the sidewalk.

Billy takes a drag from his cigarette as they continue walking.

Then they stop at the entrance of a bar.

Billy opens the door and the song abruptly cuts out.

They all head inside.

INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS

They walk to the bar and sit at it.

BILLY
Who’s gonna drink?

LEROY/JERMAINE
Me.

BILLY
Davie?

Davie looks at him.

DAVIE
Nah man, I’ve had enough drinks for now.

BILLY
Fair enough.

Billy turns to the BARTENDER (late 20s, Australian.)

BILLY
3 shots.

He gives the German number 3 sign: thumb, index finger, and middle finger.

DAVIE
What the fuck did you just do there?

BILLY
(Confused)
What?

DAVIE
You used your thumb, index, and middle finger.

BILLY
Inglourious Basterds you dumbass.

DAVIE
What’s that?

BILLY
Jesus Christ, you uncultured swine.

The Bartender places 3 shots on the bar top.

BILLY
Thank you kindly.

The bartender nods then goes to wiping a glass with a rag.

All 3 of the boys throw back their shots.

Then they all SLAM their shots down on the bar top.

And they all let out SATISFIED SIGHS.

LEROY
Oi’ ‘tender, you hear about that warehouse massacre?

BARTENDER
Yea, I heard, fuckin’ gnarly mate. My cousin said he heard the gunshots and he said it was fucking never ending.

The door opens off screen.

BARTENDER
Some fucking Rambo shit.

Leroy burps.

LEROY
Damn.

reddit.com
u/futurefilmaker123 — 13 hours ago
▲ 0 r/movies

Script Advice

The script name is “Sully” also I accidentally deleted the original post so here it is again, like I said feel free to give any advice. I am a beginner filmmaker and honestly really insecure about my scripts, but willing to take any advice. Also, the script is not finished, so the last section is definitely not gonna make sense but it’s supposed to connect, but i also genuinely thinking of scrapping this but not sure, plus I feel like it’s kinda too unoriginal. Also feel free to be blunt I probably need it, and I am gonna copy and paste my script in this description because the community doesn’t let me post multiple pictures. Sorry for the ramble, here it is:

“Spanish Flea” by Herb Alpert plays.

We see a Indian-head test pattern.

Then we cut to black but the song continues.

SUPER: 1st Half: The Audition

The super appears in metallic grey.

INT. RESTAURANT - DAY

THOMAS MONTANA (White, mid 20s) and MARCUS MALONE (Black, mid 20s) sit at a booth.

The song continues.

Marcus eats a burger and Thomas eats a breakfast plate.

THOMAS
You hear about that stuff that happened like a couple months ago?

MARCUS
Nah, what happened?

THOMAS
So there was like 5 dudes, they did this diamond heist or some shit. All of them died except one.

MARCUS
Damn… how you always know all this shit?

THOMAS
I like to keep up with the news.

MARCUS
You need to be less focused on news and more focused on work.

THOMAS
What do you mean? You saying I ain’t good enough.

MARCUS
I ain’t saying shit, but I am saying it don’t seem like you’re all that at work.

THOMAS
(Annoyed)
Oh really?

MARCUS
Yea.

THOMAS
And you’re serious?

MARCUS
Dead.

THOMAS
And you’re saying this while leaning on me to cover both our share of rent because you can’t cover it.

MARCUS
Fuck you.

They both snicker.

Then they go back to eating in silence for a moment.

THOMAS
Oh uh… speaking of work, they decided to meet with me.

Marcus smiles.

MARCUS
Oh shit, that’s my boy.

Marcus reaches over and smacks him on the shoulder.

MARCUS
Didn’t I say they’d meet you though, didn’t I?

Thomas nods, smiling.

THOMAS
Yup… you did.

They both start eating their food.

MARCUS
You nervous?

THOMAS
Eh.

Thomas does a “kind of” gesture with his hand.

MARCUS
Well, we’ve got a bit of work to do. Nothing too big but you’re not perfect yet. But around those guys, you gotta be or you’re done.

THOMAS
Blunt much?

MARCUS
This is serious shit, I gotta be blunt.

THOMAS
That’s true.

Marcus downs his coffee.

Marcus raises his hand.

MARCUS
Hey waitress! Coffee!

A WAITRESS (20s, White) walks up to the table.

She fills Marcus’s mug up with coffee.

MARCUS
Thank you.

She nods and walks away.

Marcus quietly wolf-whistles.

MARCUS
Goddamn, you see that?

THOMAS
I know… she’s hot.

MARCUS
What’s your name?

Thomas looks at him, confused.

THOMAS
(Confused)
What?

MARCUS
I said what’s your name.

THOMAS
What are you talking about?

MARCUS
Shut up, what the fuck is your name?

THOMAS
Uh… Thomas Montana.

Marcus shakes his head.

MARCUS
Goddamn, you gon’ fucking die. If I can catch you off guard that easily, what do you think’s gonna happen over there… now, what’s your name?

THOMAS
Sully.

MARCUS
Sully what?

THOMAS
Sully O’Neal.

MARCUS
Good.

Marcus takes a bite of his burger.

MARCUS (CONT’D)
They tell you where this “audition” is going down yet?

Thomas nods.

MARCUS
Where?

THOMAS
Down on Sullivan Street, at that abandoned warehouse.

MARCUS
That the place across from the medical center?

THOMAS
Yup.

MARCUS
The police gonna come in mid meeting or what?

THOMAS
They don’t really tell me shit honestly. Apparently though they’re gonna use this information for something later on… I don’t really know though.

MARCUS
Well is there at least gonna be some people there in case shit goes south?

THOMAS
Yea, they said that much at least.

MARCUS
Do they not trust you or something?

THOMAS
What do you mean?

MARCUS
I mean they’re not telling you jack, you’re going in there blind, they’re not saying what you’re doing that for besides getting information.

THOMAS
I guess.

MARCUS
You guess?

THOMAS
I mean I don’t fucking know, but you make a good point.

MARCUS
Of course I make a good point, who do you think I am, a fucking mott?

THOMAS
The fuck is a mott?

MARCUS
An idiot.

THOMAS
Where’d you get that from?

MARCUS
Mott The Hoople.

THOMAS
What the hell is Mott The Hoople?

MARCUS
Jesus, you’ve never heard of Mott The Hoople?

THOMAS
No.

MARCUS
How about T. Rex?

THOMAS
The dinosaur?

MARCUS
No the band.

THOMAS
There’s a band named T. Rex?

MARCUS
Jesus Christ, that’s almost as bad as not knowing Led Zeppelin.

THOMAS
What’s Led Zeppelin?

Marcus slams the table.

MARCUS
(Shocked)
Jesus fucking Christ!

CUT TO BLACK.

The song cuts out.

“Ballroom Of Mars” by T. Rex plays.

BEGIN MAIN TITLES

The credits appear in a metallic grey.

The credits come in rhythm to the beat.

The song carries us through the credits.

END MAIN TITLES

INT. CAR - DAY

The song continues playing, now on the radio.

Thomas sits inside his turned off car.

He is parked on the curb outside.

He exhales a deep breath.

THOMAS
(To himself)
Come on. You fucking got this.

Then he takes the gun lying on his lap and tucks it into his waistband.

He puts his shirt over it.

He turns off the car and the song ABRUPTLY CUTS OUT.

THOMAS
Come on.

EXT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

He gets out of the car and walks towards the warehouse.

INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Three guys sit in four separate chairs.

They are:

ANTHONY LEONE (30s, Italian).

MARCO SCHWARTZ (Late 20s, White).

DANIEL NELSON (Late 20s, White).

DANIEL
Anthony, you ever get far with that Rosita chick?

ANTHONY
Man fuck her—-

The door opens suddenly.

They all look behind.

Thomas steps inside.

He walks towards the center of the warehouse.

His shoes ECHO on the hard floor.

All of the 3 guys glare at him as he walks.

Then he makes it to a single chair meant for him.

He sits down on it.

MARCO
Are you Sully O’Neal?

THOMAS
Yes.

MARCO
And Sully O’Neal is your full name?

THOMAS
Yes.

MARCO
Ok, well my name is Marco Schwartz. To my left is Anthony Leone, and to my right is Daniel Nelson.

DANIEL
What’s your age?

THOMAS
23.

ANTHONY
Do you know why you’re here?

THOMAS
Yes.

ANTHONY
And why are you here?

THOMAS
Because you guys are recruiting.

ANTHONY
Recruiting for what?

THOMAS
A uh… a heist.

ANTHONY
Correct.

MARCO
Are you good with weapons, Thomas?

THOMAS
Yea.

MARCO
What kind?

THOMAS
I can use side-arms, rifles, knives, shotguns, stuff like that.

ANTHONY
Any specialties?

THOMAS
Yea, I like to use a Mossberg 590.

MARCO
Good choice.

DANIEL
Are you a mole?

INT. RESTAURANT - DAY

MARCUS
What’s the number one most important thing?

Thomas thinks about it for a moment.

THOMAS
Acting.

MARCUS
That’s second… what’s first?

THOMAS
I don’t fucking know.

MARCUS
Well… I’ve got a lot to teach you.

Marcus takes a bite from his burger.

THOMAS
So what’s the number one thing?

MARCUS
(Muffled)
A story.

THOMAS
What?

Marcus swallows his food.

MARCUS
I said a story.

THOMAS
A story?

MARCUS
Yea.

THOMAS
What do you mean by that?

MARCUS
I mean a fucking story, you don’t know what that is?

THOMAS
(Annoyed)
I know what a fucking story is, I just don’t see how that correlates.

MARCUS
It does.

THOMAS
I’m fucking asking how does it correlate—-

INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - DAY

Thomas sits on his bed while Marcus paces the room and explains.

MARCUS
Now you’re gonna need something to loosen them up, maybe make ‘em laugh. Do you got anything?

Thomas shakes his head.

THOMAS
You?

MARCUS
Nah.

THOMAS
We’ve been doing nothing for like 30 fucking minutes, I’ve got things to do—-

MARCUS
I fucking got it!

He stops and turns towards Thomas.

THOMAS
What is it?

MARCUS
Ok, so they’re definitely gonna ask you if you’re experienced obviously. So you’re gonna say you’ve robbed multiple stores, never got caught right. But then you’re gonna tell a funny story from when you were starting out.

Thomas nods.

MARCUS (CONT’D)
So you’re gonna say you were doing your first drug deal. Everything was going well, then a beat cop was walking by and stopped to look what you two were doing. Then you say you immediately hid the shit, pinned him against the wall. And acted like you were making out with him and grinding against him.

THOMAS
(Disgusted)
What the fuck! Hell no! I ain’t telling no shit like that.

MARCUS
You fucking gotta, it’s perfect.

THOMAS
No fucking way.

MARCUS
Yes fucking way.

THOMAS
No.

Thomas stands up and starts pacing.

He thinks for a moment.

THOMAS
Will it work though?

MARCUS
Yes, hand to motherfucking god.

Marcus raises his hand.

MARCUS
You just gotta add your own twist.

THOMAS
My own twist?

MARCUS
Yes.

THOMAS
Like what?

MARCUS
I don’t know, up to you.

He stops pacing, thinks in silence.

Then he nods.

THOMAS
Ok.

MARCUS
Good?

THOMAS
Yea… I can do that.

INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY

DANIEL
I said are you a mole?

All of them glare at Thomas.

Thomas lets out an awkward laugh.

THOMAS
No, why would you say that?

DANIEL
Just checking.

MARCO
Do you have a girlfriend?

THOMAS
No.

MARCO
Wife?

THOMAS
No.

MARCO
Live with any relatives?

THOMAS
No… not for a couple years.

ANTHONY
Why?

THOMAS
I moved away for college.

ANTHONY
Which college?

THOMAS
USC.

ANTHONY
Damn, that’s pretty good. What did you study?

THOMAS
Biopharmaceutical Sciences.

ANTHONY
What’s that?

THOMAS
It basically teaches biochemistry along with commercial drug development and healthcare economics.

ANTHONY
Was it hard?

THOMAS
Wasn’t horrible.

ANTHONY
You minor in anything?

THOMAS
Yeah I did.

ANTHONY
What?

THOMAS
Biopharmaceutical Business. Basically just the business side of Biopharmaceutical Sciences.

ANTHONY
Easier?

THOMAS
Much. What about you Anthony?

ANTHONY
Me what?

THOMAS
You go to college?

ANTHONY
Tried to, but it was too expensive.

THOMAS
Yea only reason I got in was a scholarship.

ANTHONY
By the way, where do you live?

THOMAS
The Wagner apartments.

DANIEL
Wait isn’t that the one on… what’s that street called?

Daniel snaps his fingers while thinking.

ANTHONY
I think it’s Miller Street.

MARCO
No it’s Moller Street.

THOMAS
Müller Street.

They all turn towards him.

DANIEL
What?

THOMAS
Müller Street, that’s the name of it.

DANIEL
Oh yeah. Anyway my Mother lives there. Do you know her? Her name is Mary, she’s like 50.

THOMAS
No, I can’t think of a Mary.

DANIEL
That’s a shame.

There is a long awkward silence.

ANTHONY
Anyone want coffee?

MARCO
Nah, I’m good for now.

DANIEL
I’ll take one.

Anthony looks to Thomas.

ANTHONY
You want one Sully?

THOMAS
Sure.

Anthony gets up and walks to the right side of the warehouse.

On that side is a table and a pot of coffee.

He grabs 2 paper cups and POURS coffee into each.

Then he walks back towards the others.

ANTHONY
So, Sully where are you from?

He hands a cup of coffee to Thomas and Thomas takes a sip.

Then he goes and gives the other cup to Daniel.

THOMAS
I’m from San Francisco.

Anthony sits down.

ANTHONY
Huh… I’ve been a few times. Nice place. Good people there, mostly crackheads but still some good people.

Thomas laughs.

THOMAS
Yea, a lot of crackheads there.

ANTHONY
Oh and there’s that one Scott Mckenzie song I love, what is it called again?

MARCO
(Annoyed)
It’s just called San Francisco dumbass.

ANTHONY
Oh yeah. Well anyway it goes like this.

He starts singing.

ANTHONY
(Singing)
If you’re going to San Francisco.

DANIEL
Anthony, no one wants to hear you sing.

ANTHONY
Fuck you.

Marco snickers.

ANTHONY
What the fuck are you laughing at? Your name’s Marco, I don’t see no fucking Polo.

Marco continues laughing.

MARCO
It’s just that you sound like fucking Kermit.

ANTHONY
No I don’t, my voice is good.

MARCO
It really fucking isn’t.

ANTHONY
(Defensive)
Yea well… fuck you. Anyway, Sully. Is that short for Sullivan?

THOMAS
No, my dad just really fucking liked the name Sully.

ANTHONY
You close with your dad?

THOMAS
Not really, he was always kind of an asshole.

DANIEL
You got any experience you can tell us about?

INT. CAR - DAY

Thomas sits in his car, his eyes closed.

He lets out a LONG, SHAKY SIGH.

THOMAS
(Quietly)
Fuck.

He turns on his car which lets out a LOUD ROAR.

He starts driving.

JOEY (V.O)
And that was “Intolewd” by Matt Maltese, truly an amazing song. Next up we have “Wet” by Dazy and the Scouts. Though it is one hell of an explicit song, it is also an amazing song. Sad fact about this band, they were formed in 2016. Released their sole release “Maggot” in 2017, and disbanded in 2018. Well anyway, here is “Wet” on your favorite radio station, Joey’s Golden Indies.

“Wet” by Dazy and the Scouts plays over the radio.

THOMAS
I’ve robbed a couple of stores… never got caught…

He then thinks for a moment.

THOMAS
Shit… uh… on my first drug deal, A cop started eyeing us. So I hid the shit and pretended like I was making out with the guy… bla bla bla… the twist. What the fuck is the twist. Something unexpected… funny…

His phone RINGS and he picks it up and answers it.

THOMAS
Hello?

MARCUS (V.O)
You on your way there?

THOMAS
Yea.

MARCUS (V.O)
You got your story down?

THOMAS
I think so.

MARCUS (V.O)
You think so? Seriously?

THOMAS
Yea, I think so what’s the problem?

MARCUS
If you don’t got this shit down fully, you’re fucking dead.

THOMAS
I got this, trust me.

MARCUS
Whatever, just don’t fucking die.

THOMAS
I won’t.

He hangs up his phone and tosses it to the side.

Then he parks on the curb.

He turns off the car and the song ABRUPTLY CUTS OFF.

He lets out a HEAVY SIGH.

INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY

THOMAS
Yea I’ve robbed like I think 10 stores now or something like that. Never got caught. But uh.

He lets out a CHUCKLE.

THOMAS (CONT’D)
When I was first starting out, I was just doing skimpy drug deals. And uh, this one time I was doing one in a alleyway. And this beat cop saw us, started walking towards us. And I don’t know how the fuck it got into my head, but I immediately stuffed the shit and pinned the other guy against the wall and pretended like I was making out with him.

They all LAUGH.

THOMAS (CONT’D)
And I’m not gay either, it just popped in my head. And goddamn that cop immediately got the fuck out of there.

The other guys LAUGH again.

THOMAS (CONT’D)
And then, that fucking dude I was selling to actually tried to fucking kiss me.

They all LAUGH, louder this time.

THOMAS (CONT’D)
And then I fucking jumped him.

DANIEL
(Laughing)
That’s how your first fucking drug deal went?

THOMAS
Yup, never did one again.

DANIEL
That figures.

THOMAS
So, what about this place? How’d you guys find it?

ANTHONY
Well this place was actually some type of like storage place for heavy-duty shit. Y’know like the stuff they use at docks and shit like that. But it closed down in the 90s because of some fatal accident. And uh, we had a rat with us at one point. His name was George. So we tortured him to death in here, actually in that exact chair you’re sitting in?

Thomas gets a disgusted look and shifts in his seat.

THOMAS
Right here?

ANTHONY
Yup.

INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY (3 YEARS AGO)

GEORGE MARQUIS sits tied to a chair and letting out GROANS.

He is bloody.

Marco walks to a table and places a record on a vinyl player.

“All the Young Dudes” by Mott The Hoople plays, ECHOING in the warehouse.

Then he grabs a jigsaw next to the vinyl player.

Then he slowly dances and nods his way towards George.

He reaches George and then circles around the chair while still dancing.

MARCO
(Singing)
Speed jive, don’t wanna stay alive when you’re, 25.

Then he turns on the jigsaw which WHIRS LOUDLY.

He stands in front of George.

Then he leans in and uses the drill on George.

Marco’s body covers the gore.

The music swells while George lets out AGONIZING SCREAMS.

The camera turns behind, showing Anthony and Daniel watching in amusement.

BACK TO PRESENT

INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY

ANTHONY
Anyway, anyone want some more coffee?

MARCO
I’m good.

ANTHONY
Daniel?

DANIEL
No, I’m good for now.

Anthony looks towards Thomas.

ANTHONY
Sully?

THOMAS
Yea, sure.

Anthony gets up and walks to the table again.

He pours the pot of coffee into another paper cup.

Then he walks back towards Thomas and hands him the cup.

THOMAS
Thanks.

Then Anthony walks behind the chair and puts both of his hands on the chair causing a CREAK OF WOOD.

ANTHONY
Y’know you look pretty easy to tie up right now.

Thomas’s face becomes worried.

ANTHONY
I know you’re a mole you fucking son of a bitch.

THOMAS
I—-I didn’t mean to—-

ANTHONY
Shut the fuck up!

His yell ECHOES through the warehouse and everyone goes silent.

ANTHONY
Now either you confess or we drill a hole in you just like the other fuck head.

THOMAS
Ok, I’m—-

Anthony and the other 2 suddenly BURST OUT LAUGHING.

MARCO
Jesus Christ kid, you looked like a fucking ghost.

ANTHONY
Don’t worry kid, it’s tradition, we do this every time.

Thomas gives a AWKWARD, NERVOUS LAUGH.

Anthony goes and sits back down.

MARCO
Oh, I forgot to ask. If you were doing so much for biopharma—- whatever the fuck. How come you’re like this now?

THOMAS
Uh… I couldn’t get a foot in the door y’know. Even with all that shit it was fucking impossible to find a good job. So, I went broke and I just said “fuck it” and started doing this for the money.

DANIEL
Ain’t that the truth.

MARCO
Do you like this lifestyle?

THOMAS
I mean… I mostly do it for the money but… I guess.

Marco nods.

Then there is a long silence.

THOMAS
Is there a uh… a bathroom?

DANIEL
Yea it’s way back there.

THOMAS
I need to piss.

DANIEL
Be my guest.

ANTHONY
I’ll go with him.

Then Thomas and Anthony get up and walk to the back of the warehouse.

Their shoes ECHO as they walk.

They both enter the bathroom.

INT. WAREHOUSE BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Thomas goes to a urinal and unzips his pants.

Then his pee TRICKLES as he pisses.

There is an awkward silence as he continues pissing.

Then he finishes and zips his pants back up.

He walks towards the sink and washes his hands.

The silence continues.

Then he finishes washing his hands.

ANTHONY (O.S)
Hey kid.

THOMAS
Yea?

ANTHONY (O.S)
Look at me.

Thomas turns around and looks at Anthony.

Anthony leans against the wall, looking at him skeptically.

ANTHONY
Why are you so uptight, you fucking look like one of those fucking vampires from that Twilight movie.

THOMAS
I know—-

ANTHONY
You’ve been acting all weird this entire fucking time. You’re acting like a goddamn pig.

THOMAS
I’m not a pig—-

ANTHONY
Are you a pig?

THOMAS
No.

ANTHONY
Then why are you acting like one?

THOMAS
I’m just nervous—-

ANTHONY
Why are you nervous?

THOMAS
Because half the time you guys fucking look like you’re gonna kill me, even if I ain’t doing shit.

There’s a long silence.

ANTHONY
Ok… calm the fuck down, take a smoke.

THOMAS
I don’t have a cigarette.

ANTHONY
I got you, don’t worry.

Anthony takes a pack of smokes out of his pocket.

He takes out a cigarette and hands it to Thomas.

Thomas takes it and puts it in his mouth.

Anthony puts the pack back into his pocket.

Then Anthony takes a lighter out and lights Thomas’s cigarette.

Thomas takes a long, slow drag.

Then he exhales.

He takes another long drag.

ANTHONY
Alright that’s enough, give me my smoke back.

He takes the cigarette right from Thomas’s mouth and starts smoking it himself.

ANTHONY
You ok now?

Thomas nods.

ANTHONY
Huh?

THOMAS
Yea, I’m fucking alright.

ANTHONY
Motherfucker don’t talk to me like that, I’ll slap that attitude straight out of you.

THOMAS
Look, I’m sorry—-

ANTHONY
Go wash your fucking face and calm down.

Thomas walks to the sink, turns the water on, and SPLASHES his face with it.

ANTHONY
(To himself)
Got me fucking worrying he’s a pig over here.

Thomas does this a few more times then he turns off the water.

He grabs some paper towels and wipes his face and hands.

Then he turns to Anthony.

ANTHONY
Are you fucking ok now?

THOMAS
Yea, I’m good.

ANTHONY
Ok, just calm the fuck down, you’re gonna give me a heart attack. Come on let’s go.

They both walk out of the bathroom.

INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Anthony and Thomas both walk to their seats and sit down.

MARCO
You guys want music?

Everyone stays silent, giving no protest.

MARCO
Ok.

Marco gets up and walks to the table again.

On the table is a boombox.

He turns to the others.

MARCO
Now in this boombox is a personally put together mixtape. It holds my favorite songs from my favorite director.

THOMAS
Who’s your favorite director?

MARCO
Quentin Tarantino obviously. But it also has some personally favorite songs.

He turns back around and presses play on the boombox.

“Lonesome Town” by Ricky Nelson plays and ECHOES THROUGH THE WAREHOUSE.

Marco sways and nods his way back to his seat and sits down.

MARCO
You like Quentin Tarantino?

THOMAS
I don’t really watch movies.

MARCO
You’re telling me…

Marco scoffs.

MARCO
You’re missing out kid. Now I want you to do something for me.

THOMAS
Yea?

MARCO
I want you to educate yourself on these legendary Tarantino movies. I want you to watch Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill 1 and 2, or better yet, The Whole Bloody Affair. Then you watch Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained.

THOMAS
Django? How do you spell that?

MARCO
D, j, a, n, g, o.

THOMAS
Ok.

MARCO
And if you don’t watch these, you know what I’m gonna do?

THOMAS
What?

MARCO
I’m gonna split your fucking head open thats what.

The other guys LAUGH.

Thomas starts SUDDENLY COUGHING.

DANIEL
You okay?

Thomas continues coughing.

THOMAS
Yea, I gotta get something from my car.

Thomas gets up and begins walking towards the door while still coughing.

MARCO
Hold the fuck up, not so fucking fast.

Thomas stops walking.

MARCO (CONT’D)
Anthony, go with him.

Anthony nods and gets up.

They both walk out of the warehouse.

EXT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

The song becomes distant and Thomas walks to his car.

He coughs again.

He opens the door and grabs an inhaler from inside.

He uses it.

ANTHONY
Goddamn, you have fucking asthma?

The song ends.

“I Wanna Be With You” by Raspberries plays, muffled.

Thomas takes a deep breath.

THOMAS
Yea.

ANTHONY
Fuck… come on let’s go.

Thomas tosses his inhaler in his car then closes the door.

Both walk back inside the warehouse.

INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

The song continues playing.

They walk to their seats.

ANTHONY
The kid has fucking asthma.

DANIEL
Asthma.

They both sit down.

ANTHONY
Yup.

MARCO
Shit. And why the hell didn’t you tell us this.

THOMAS
I don’t know.

MARCO
Is it bad?

THOMAS
Not really, it’s kind of rare when it happens.

MARCO
So if we’re doing the heist you’re not gonna fucking pull a fucking Morgan Hess on us?

THOMAS
Morgan Hess?

MARCO
Signs, M. Night Shyamalan?

THOMAS
I haven’t heard of it.

MARCO
Jesus, I’m really considering doing A Clockwork Orange on you right now.

THOMAS
What’s that?

MARCO
Just fucking forget about it.

Marco sighs.

MARCO
But as I was saying, is this asthma shit gonna matter in the future?

THOMAS
Nah, it’s not that bad.

MARCO
Good, ‘cause I don’t want you wheezing like a broken accordion in the future.

DANIEL
Oh hey Sully… you know my mother Mary, the lady I said lives in the Wagner apartments on Müller street. When you were outside with Anthony, I shot her a text. ‘Cause turns out, she’s the building manager. And I asked her if there was any “Sully” living there. She said no, not even a Sullivan… so I just want to know, why the fuck did you lie to us?

There is a long silence.

Thomas sits frozen in his chair.

DANIEL
Anthony, could you go turn that off?

Anthony says silent and walks over to the boombox and stops it.

Then he walks back to his seat and sits down.

DANIEL
Sully—-or whatever the fuck your name is… stand up.

THOMAS
Look I can explain—-

ANTHONY
(Snapping)
He said stand the fuck up!

Thomas slowly stands up.

DANIEL
Marco, check him.

Marco stands up and walks towards Thomas.

He pats down his pockets and sides.

Then his hand brushes past Thomas’s shirt and pulls out his gun.

MARCO
He’s got a piece.

He shows the gun to Daniel.

Daniel slowly walks to Thomas.

Then he just eyes him for a moment in total silence.

THWACK! He punches Thomas in the face who falls to the ground.

Daniel bends over to Thomas.

DANIEL
Why’d you lie?

THOMAS
I didn’t lie!

THWACK! Daniel punches him again, harder.

Thomas lets out an AGONIZED YELL.

His face is now bloody.

THOMAS
(Agonized)
Fuck!

DANIEL
(Aggressively)
I said, why the fuck did you lie!

THOMAS
Ok I fucking did it because how the fuck can I trust all of you! It’s not like I fucking know you!

MOMENTS LATER

CU - BOOMBOX

Anthony presses play on the boombox.

“Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye plays, ECHOING.

BEGIN MONTAGE

- Marco slowly dances his way to Thomas who is tied to the chair.

- The others stand back and watch him.

- Thomas lets out a muffled scream because of the tape over his mouth.

END MONTAGE

INT. CAR - DAY

MANNY MARTINEZ (mid 30s, Latino) and GEORGE JONES (Late 20s, White) sit in a car outside of the warehouse.

The song BOOMS in the distance.

GEORGE
How’s the kids, Manny?

MANNY
Good, I wish it didn’t have to be supervised visits, but it’s better than nothing y’know.

GEORGE
Yea.

MANNY
How about you, how’s life treating you?

GEORGE
Same shit, pretty boring to be honest.

MANNY
Did you ever get with that Ramona girl.

GEORGE
Ramona Flowers?

MANNY
Yea.

GEORGE
Yea I did.

MANNY
How’s that?

GEORGE
I’m the fucking luckiest man alive, dude. She’s so hot its like woah baby—-

BANG! BANG! 2 shots ring out.

MANNY
Shit, that’s our cue.

INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY

All 3 of the guys stand over a dead Thomas, slumped over.

The song continues.

MARCO
Fucking pig.

Marco spits on Thomas.

The door suddenly gets KICKED IN.

They all turn around to see George and Manny pointing their guns at them.

MANNY
Get the fuck down!

GEORGE
Hands up!

All 3 of the guys point their guns at the cops and everyone SHOOTS at each other.

Anthony gets shot and immediately drops.

SHOTS RING OUT, everyone shoots panicked and messy.

George gets shot and falls down but shoots and kills Daniel as he falls.

Then Marco shoots Manny who falls to the ground seemingly dead.

The song ends, leaving everything in total silence.

The only sounds are the DISTANT OUTSIDE, and BLOOD FALLING.

MARCO
(Quietly)
Shit.

Then he puts his gun back in his waistband and walks towards the exit.

BANG! He gets shot in the buttocks.

MARCO
(Pained)
Agh!

He turns around to see Manny half-dead, pointing his gun at him.

He immediately pulls out his gun and shoots Manny dead.

Then he stiffly limps his way to the exit.

He WINCES along the way.

He exits the warehouse.

We stay in the warehouse for a moment, nothing happens.

CUT TO BLACK.

SUPER: Half 2: On The Lam

The super appears in a dark blue.

“Coconut” by Harry Nilsson plays.

INT. ZEB’S HOUSE - DAY

ZEB BUSCEMI (mid 30s, White) sits on his couch, watching TV.

He wears a sloppy T-shirt, shorts, and flip flops.

He gets up and walks to the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS.

He opens his fridge and grabs a carton of milk.

He opens the carton of milk and drinks straight out of it.

Then he immediately SPITS IT OUT.

ZEB
(Disgusted)
Ugh.

He throws the carton of milk in the trash.

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY

He grabs a carton of milk.

Then he looks around him, making sure nobody’s watching.

Then he opens the carton and downs it.

Milk spills down his shirt.

INT. BAR - NIGHT.

The song fades out.

Zeb sits at the bar with HUEY LEWIS (late 20s, White).

ZEB
I’m telling ya Huey, Buddhism is bullshit.

HUEY
What do you mean it’s bullshit?

ZEB
I mean come on. It’s pretty fucking obvious.

HUEY
How?

ZEB
Seriously? Big fat rich asian guy is gonna rub his stomach and give you fucking money? It’s ridiculous.

HUEY
Ok what do you believe in then?

ZEB
Dudeism bro.

HUEY
What the fuck is Dudeism? There’s no way thats real.

ZEB
It is fucking real, and its the best religion. I’m telling ya, that Buddhist shit is bullshit.

HUEY
Ok then who’s your fucking God then?

ZEB
Duddha.

HUEY
You gotta be fucking kidding me, you literally just took that from Buddha.

ZEB
Nuh-uh.

HUEY
Ok fine, what the fuck even is Dudeism?

ZEB
Dudeism is the best religion. Basically you just fucking let loose. Not a worry in the world, you don’t need to meet standards, nada. And instead of whatever the fuck your Buddhists’s traditions are, our tradition are White Russians.

HUEY
(In disbelief)
You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

INT. ZEB’S HOUSE - NIGHT

Zeb sits on the couch watching TV again.

He grabs a white Russian from the table and takes a sip.

Then he gets up and walks to a vinyl player.

He puts on a T. Rex vinyl and “Baby Boomerang” by T. Rex plays.

He nods his head and walks to the kitchen.

He opens the fridge and grabs bread, mayonnaise, cheese, bologna, and ketchup.

He takes a paper towel and sets it on the counter.

Then he places 2 pieces of bread on the towel.

Then he grabs a knife and slathers mayonnaise on both pieces.

Then he places 2 slabs of bologna on one of the bread pieces.

Then he grabs the ketchup bottle and SQUEEZES a lot of ketchup onto the bologna.

Then he puts the cheese on top, and puts the top piece of bread on.

Then he grabs the sandwich and takes a bite.

He walks out of the kitchen and now in the hall is ANTONY MALL (British, late 20s).

Zeb doesn’t notice and WHACK!

Antony punches him on the side of the face.

ZEB
Agh!

Zeb stumbles back and throws his sandwich at him.

THWACK! It hits him dead center on the face.

The toppings get all over him.

ZEB
(Bewildered)
Who the fuck are you!

ANTONY
Where is the money, good sir.

ZEB
Good sir! Are you a fucking British royal! You want a fucking cup of tea innit!

ANTONY
Indeed, I am British. Now where is the money, good sir.

ZEB
What fucking money?

ANTONY
The money you owe to Mr. Boise and his goons, good sir.

ZEB
Goons! The fuck are you talking about, and who the fuck is Boise. Are you fucking talking about Boise State!

ANTONY
No, good sir. I am talking about Mr. Joe Boise. You owe money to him, good sir.

ZEB
What money? Do I look like I fucking have money!

ANTONY
To be honest, no. But your name is Zeb Buscemi. That is the name of the man who owes us money, good sir.

ZEB
Ok, coincidence!

ANTONY
No, do you have the money, good sir?

ZEB
No!

ANTONY
Fair enough.

Antony charges him and they get into a scuffle.

They GRUNT as they struggle with each other.

Then Zeb pushes him off and Antony’s head THUDS on the kitchen counter.

He falls to the ground and goes limp.

ZEB
Hello?

He steps forward.

ZEB (CONT’D)
Good sir?

There is no response.

Zeb tip-toe runs back to the couch.

He grabs his white Russian off the table and takes a sip.

Then he lets out a SATISFIED SIGH.

He turns back to the body and looks at it in silence for a long moment.

ZEB
(Disappointed)
Aw man.

EXT. STREETS - DAY

Marco limps as fast as he can through the street.

SIRENS WAIL in the distance.

He PANTS as he runs.

MARCO
Get the fuck out of the way!

He knocks down a pedestrian and keeps running.

MARCO
Fucking move—-

INT. DINER - NIGHT

The diner is empty and quiet except for just a bored CASHIER (20s, Black).

Marco casually walks into the diner, bloody.

The cashier looks at him as if this is usual.

Marco walks to the counter.

CASHIER
You good?

MARCO
Eh.

CASHIER
Rough day?

MARCO
Yup.

CASHIER
You want some whiskey.

Marco nods.

The cashier takes a hip flask from his pocket and hands it to Marco.

Marco takes it, opens it, and takes a swig.

Then he gives a satisfied SIGH.

He puts the flask on the counter.

CASHIER
So what happened?

MARCO
I got shot in the ass.

CASHIER
Cool… want something?

MARCO
Sure, what do ya got?

CASHIER
I’ll give you a steak for free.

MARCO
Ok.

INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - DAY

Marco stands at a apartment door.

He KNOCKS on the door.

MARCO
Doc, open up.

He waits for something to happen but nothing does.

He KNOCKS again.

MARCO
Doc.

Nothing happens again.

He BANGS on the door.

MARCO
Doc, open the fucking door.

Then he starts KICKING IN THE DOOR.

MARCO
Open the fucking door!

He continues KICKING IN THE DOOR.

The door crashes in.

He aggressively walks into the room.

He walks to the main part of the room but it’s empty.

MARCO
The fuck.

Then he walks into the bathroom which is also empty.

MARCO
Fuck!

He walks out of the room.

EXT. HOUSE - DAY

Zeb walks to his car, opens the door, and gets in.

INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

ZEB
Shit.

He gets out of the car.

He walks inside the house.

We stay inside the car, totally quiet.

Nothing happens for a long moment.

Then he comes back out of the house with his glass of white Russian.

He walks to the car and gets back inside.

He downs his glass

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u/futurefilmaker123 — 14 hours ago

Script Advice (repost)

The script name is “Sully” also I accidentally deleted the original post so here it is again, like I said feel free to give any advice. I am a beginner filmmaker and honestly really insecure about my scripts, but willing to take any advice.

u/futurefilmaker123 — 16 hours ago

Advice for script.

The name of the movie is “Sully” btw, please give advice. Also I was only allowed to post 20 pictures, but there is 42 pages written so far, so a lot is left out. Also this script is NOT family friendly, do not read if you’re looking for something family friendly.

u/futurefilmaker123 — 2 days ago