Deciding to quit after horrific greening out experience
I (27F) feel the way ppl talk about greening out as a joke is lowk harmful 😭 a couple days ago it happened to me and I honestly feel traumatised by the experience. I've been thinking about quitting weed for a while (makes me feel stupider, the memory loss) but this was the nail in the coffin.
I was chilling with my bf, and I had the other half of a weed cookie. I already had the other half so I wasn't expecting anything to happen. I've been a very regular nightly smoker for around 5 years, stupidly I kind of thought greening out couldn't happen to me.
Half an hour later I knew I felt "off." It felt like the start of an acid trip. I told my bf how I felt and I was scared the cookie was spiked, because I never felt that way before.
Suddenly I felt like I was moving in slow motion. It became hard to speak. In my head I felt like I was spinning, and I felt completely terrified. It got worse and worse, I tried to get on the floor but the spinning feeling made me unable to sit still. Whenever id try to lie still I would twitch and my body felt like it was seizing. I felt complete terror and thought I was gonna die. My partner asked me if I felt nauseous, but everything I was feeling was so confusing I couldn't tell. When he brought me a bowl to chuck up in I immediately started throwing up. I kept throwing up on and off for about half an hour while in this state. Missing the bowl at times because I lost control of my body. I literally felt like I was in hell and I couldn't get out. I became still, crouched over the bowl for about an hour. I wanted to communicate with my bf but I literally felt like I couldn't speak or move. He moved me to lie down with pillows, I felt a bit better after throwing up, and it took me about an hour before I could move again. The "trippy" feeling lasted about 24 hours.
I feel genuinely traumatised from this, it was such a low point to hit, but in a way I think I needed this catalyst to get me off weed.
I have ADHD, so I already have attention issues and time management issues. ADHD absolutely exacerbates this. I would tell myself I'm not a full on stoner because I only ever smoke in the evenings, but I would get high basically as soon as I got home every day, even if that was at 2pm. I would look for excuses to leave things early to get stoned. No time to think or reflect on my day, or to prepare for the next. I used to draw every day, drawing was my passion.
I convinced myself that weed helped me with creativity, but really it only helps with passive creativity, not active creativity. I used to be able to read before bed, I really value learning about the world, but I spend all that time being stoned and watching reels and tiktok. I don't want to watch my life fly by in a blur. I don't want to give up on myself! Another thing, my usage has gotten heavier in the last few months, and I've started to really feel like I'm only high for 20 minutes at a time anyway. Doesn't even feel worth it.
I'm not sure if I'm quitting for good or if I'll just pick it up again later. But I'm thinking through hard about whether I actually want to smoke again, because this is as good an opportunity as I'm gonna get to quit. I genuinely never want to feel that way ever again.