How do you even get help for this dumb disorder
So I got my diagnosis earlier this year but the guy who assessed me was only a temporary psychiatrist. He recommended I'd try DBT, preferably in their residential mental hospital so I did, and now not even after a week of being there, they're very likely to kick me out because I'm having a hard time attending breakfast and lunch (dinner is not required).
I've been doing my best to attend the regular therapy sessions but the mealtimes are way more difficult for me because you have to sit there a whole 30 mins trying to be as invisible as possible, while being surrounded by people talking and eating and I just hate it. I feel like everyone can see how socially handicapped and weird I am just looking down at my nails for half an hour, also while not eating so that might come across like I'm starving myself for attention or something or like I have an eating disorder, while actually I'm just too uncomfortable and I wouldn't wanna make a mess or something. Mealtime in group is just one of those things I'd rather not deal with. (I realize how dumb my reasoning is while I'm typing this out lmao)
Their policy being, missing a groupsession 3 times in a row = automatic dismissal, is putting my stay here at risk. On one hand I wouldn't be opposed to leaving this place and never looking back, but I know that I'll just go right back to my old lifestyle and be a bum, fail to finish my schoolyear over and over again due to me not attending my classes after some time, and it's just hell. Why is my avoidance this bad to the point I'm missing out on treatment for it? Or is this just not the right treatment for people with avpd/avoidance traits? If this stops then I'd have no clue what other options there are that specifically tackle avpd.. I've been to so many places and people and seemingly no one even knows how to help me