I dont wanna be the only one who remembers him.
These pictures were taken over the years I had him. The last photo is from when i first took him home. His name was Tito, and he was once a little kitty hanging around my grandparents house and we decided to take him home since all the other strays would bully him. He ended up being my 5th birthday gift in a way. He was my baby for almost 11 years. I never imagined Id end up graduating without him. He was my soul cat. There would be times where hed be a little sick every now and then, but it didnt get bad until his last couple months of life. He kept losing appetite no matter how many times we switched his food or how many expensive, healthier brands we bought. We couldnt give him scraps because they had started to make him sick. His nose went from its cute little pink color to a sick yellow. One of his fangs fell out because our family was unaware that animals needed dental care too since we came from a third world country where it wouldve sounded ridiculous if you told us pets needed to brush their teeth too. He started to pee in random places and sometimes meow in pain when he did. We didn't even have the money to check what was wrong with him with whatever machines you use to check that. One day we just took him to the vet to see what was wrong and i came back that same day with nothing but an empty blanket full of his fur. The vet said there was a possibility of some sort of kidney disease but that maybe he couldve had a chance with treatment, but we couldnt afford to do that for him.
They asked me if I wanted to be in the room while they put him to sleep and i said no because my dad told me it would suck for my last memory of him to be that bad. I listened because i didnt know if i could bear seeing him slowly die in my arms, but i wish i wouldve sucked it up for him. He didnt deserve to be left alone in his last moments, surrounded by strangers. I didnt even choose to keep his ashes or any of his belongings because my parents thought Id keep torturing myself if i had anything of his other than pictures. They were probably right, but I still wish i wouldve kept at least his blanket if not his ashes. He looked so scared when i handed him over to the doctor, my poor baby. I feel sick to my stomach about my decision now. I regret it every single day. I hate myself for not being able to afford anything more expensive than the euthanasia, and for listening to my parents when they told me it was best for me to get rid of his things. Every now and then i still find a hair of his on my old clothes that I havent worn in a while. I just want someone out there to know he existed, and that he was mine.
In all truth, he passed away well over a year ago, itll be two years this august. but i think about him often, more so around this time of year. My only comfort is knowing my sweet baby boy never has to feel pain or starve himself ever again. I know hes napping on the softest cloud in heaven, along with everyone elses soul pets that had to cross the rainbow bridge too.
Rest in peace Tito, you were so, so loved.
May 2014-August 2024🪽🤍
