u/goodwitchofbk

I've been taking prozac for about a year now, and it has really changed my life. I have OCD that often left me in overthinking rumination, and the Prozac has significantly quieted my thoughts.

It is my first SSRI, so I started at 10 mg and slowly worked my way up. I'm currently on 40 mg which is a pretty low dose for OCD. I think because I have OCD (and not MDD), I don't necessarily feel emotionally blunted when on Prozac. But I do feel fatigued, and a severe lack of motivation.

Part of this is that, before Prozac, I had a hard time with staying asleep and would often wake up after only a few hours and ruminate until morning. I can now sleep through the night, and then end up taking naps. I also have a hard time waking up if I'm up late and need to get less than 8-9 hours. I've tried to switch to taking it at night, and that just gives me insomnia lol.

Also motivation-wise, before Prozac, I ran my life on a lot of adrenaline/panic/nervous energy, and I'm wondering if the "lack of motivation" I feel is more about not even knowing what my natural motivation/ambition feels like. Like, it's good that I'm not panicked all the time, but I also have some very real material issues, and those feel a little "whatever" to me at this point, and like ... I need to pay rent lol.

What I'm asking is: does anyone have experience with fatigue on Prozac? I am having a hard time communicating this to my prescriber because she insists that it's an activating drug and I shouldn't feel like this. But I do! In general, I don't have a strong response to stimulants (medically or recreationally), and I know most other SSRIs cause even more fatigue. Any thoughts or insights are very appreciated!

https://preview.redd.it/d4pr1dhme5mh1.jpg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dad1c94df24222c2375ca5be99c102b732aa315e

https://preview.redd.it/ltb495hbxx8h1.png?width=1622&format=png&auto=webp&s=c0f9a1992a0996cafa2678530951c257a18d9b2a

I want to move out of my apartment when my lease is up at the end of August, but with how crazy the NYC housing market is, I feel like it even trying to find something I could afford is futile. That being said, I don't like where I live (haven't since I moved in five years ago), and it's greatly affecting my personal and professional life, as well as my mental health.

Looking at this horary, I think it's not looking great for me to move by the end of summer? Though I do get confused with how moving charts work. I know that I am Saturn in Aries in the 2nd (makes a lot of sense - the biggest thing keeping me from moving is financial issues), but the 2H cusp being ruled by Jupiter in Cancer on the 7H makes me feel like my money situation might be less dire than I make it out to be in my head? Or that I'm thinking about it too negatively when there is possibility.

My understanding is that for will I move charts, one is supposed to analyze the 4H cusp (current living situation) vs 10H cusp (future living situation). So that is Venus in Leo (current situation) vs. Mars in Taurus (future situation). Helpful to note that it is my exact Mars return, and Mars being near the IC, with Uranus too, makes me feel like there is an "exit" coming on the home front. Even though Mars is in exile, this Mars position is very "me" and it is also the Mars return of when I originally moved into this apartment. That being said, though my significator is ruled by Mars in Taurus, there's no aspect, whereas there's an applying aspect between Saturn and Venus, but they don't like each other. The aspect completes in two units, and two months from now is when my new lease would begin...this makes me feel like I will renew the lease, much to my chagrin.

Meanwhile, the Moon is with the LoF which feels like a positive sign, even though Luna is separating from an opposition with Saturn. Moon's next aspect is to Mercury (L5, 6 and 8) just under the 7H cusp... Mercury and Jupiter on the 7H cusp is interesting to me... especially ruling the money houses and 5 and 11. Do you think this could speak to there being some kind of subleasing situation? Where I keep this apartment and rent it out, and personally sublet elsewhere?

Curious to hear others' thoughts!

DAE have a particular kind of relationship OCD that manifests with their friendships?

For me, it shows up in two ways:

1. more classical relationship OCD - this usually happens with friends I deeply care about and feel close to/seen by. I can very easily fall into spirals questioning whether they actually care about me or are just tolerating me. I go over conversations I've had. Question whether I'm being a good friend, etc. I also can get obsessed with their appearances and their other relationships, and compare and despair.

2. With my more difficult friendships, I tend to obsess over my own negative feelings. When a friend is annoying or upsetting me, I feel like I have to "check" whether what they did was actually annoying or hurtful. I can't just trust my own feelings and this soon leads me into a spiral questioning whether I'm a horrible person on so many levels. In really desperate moments, I will put our conversations into AI and ask if it makes sense that this person is upsetting me. There's never enough evidence sometimes to prove that I'm justified in feeling bad (even though it is just how I feel). This has led me to stay in friendships / stay extra close to people who I would be better off taking distance from / sometimes prioritizing these people out of guilt.